Let's Talk about Sex tmi

[AnxiousJ]

I'm serious. I am 46 yrs old, three years post infection and have been married for 15 years. I was diagnosed in Jan 2016 after having two weeks of D and it cleared in April 2016. Between the span of 1/16-4/16 I took 2 rounds of Flagyl from an incompetent dr, finally saw a GI and was given Vanco. Tested negative and a week later got a uti. Had to take Bactrim and got it a second time. It finally cleared in April 2016 after 10 days of Difficid. While I was never prone to uti's, I took an intimacy hiatus from my very patient husband from the time I got it until Dec 2018 bc of my fear of a uti and the need for abx. There have been many times since I got over this infection where I thought I had a uti. I now see a urologist who suggested I take Manose D when needed and I do that. We had protected sex twice around Christmas 2018. I took Mannose D after each time. Dec 28th, I was diagnosed with a uti and was given Macrobid. I was luckily ok. Last night, we didn't have intercourse but we messed around. I woke up with slight lower back pain and had some urine frequency later in the day. Again, I am not prone to uti's. I just took a second D Mannose and am continuing to drink water. I will call my uro tomorrow if I still have frequency. Here are my questions: For those of you who are now over this infection, did you resume to normal intimate relationship or did you stop? If so, how long? Does the fear of antibiotics prevent you in any way from being intimate with your spouse/partner? Did you change anything? Even three years out, I am having a difficult time figuring out how to have a normal intimate relationship without either the fear of needing abx or actually needing abx.

[roy]

Sex should not be a problem but in your case I suggest you and your husband should be in separate rooms when you do it.
Failing that the back to back position is recommended.

[AnxiousJ]

I'm sorry...I really don't understand. Is this a joke? I understand the title of this post is light but I am asking a pretty serious question, one that has affected my marriage and life in many ways. I genuinely am asking because I am not sure what to do and or how others have dealt with this issue. I am not necessarily young but I certainly feel I am too young to "retire" from sex indefinitely. However, if I end up with a potential uti any time we are intimate, it sadly may not be worth it. This is after a three year hiatus and I was never prone to uti's before.

[roy]

In that case I will add a serious reply.
We can support someone with c.diff but none of us know how to respond to someone with such a deep rooted health anxiety problem.
Theres an old saying "ask a silly question and you will get a silly answer".
To you it's a real problem but it's one that can not be answered by your internet friends.
You should get professional help with your ongoing concerns and not feed your anxiety with unqualified opinions.

[Musings]

As a side, many people (women in particular) have reported frequency and other urine issues after taking vanco as it appears to be a side effect of the medication. Would recommend talking to your doctor about this and while Roy might not be the most smooth in his delivery, he's right regarding your health anxiety and that there's nothing we can do. Best to talk to a professional and see if medication and/or therapy may help especially given your concerns over your relationship.

[Rusty S]

Had C Diff 1.5yrs ago. Lady and I hump frequently. Maybe get cleaned up first? Avoid butt stuff?

[AnxiousJ]

Hi,

Roy and Musings, I appreciate your responses. I am aware I am still dealing with anxiety. I am seeing a therapist and am taking anti anxiety meds. I truly do not think I asked a silly question and I am sorry you felt I did. Rusty, Thanks, I am very sanitary and no...never done that and don't intend too. ;). I think my greatest concern stems from the possibility of developing a uti after sex. This is health related and not a worry about my marriage. I did have a consult appt. with my urologist regarding the issue on Thursday and she helped to calm my fears a little. She agreed taking a D Mannose before intimacy and the next day is a good idea and she suggested increasing water. She did not feel like I am a high risk for uti's. I probably will always have some concerns but I am slowly improving with the anxiety and do very much need to live my life and try to have a normal intimate relationship with my husband and not be so fearful regarding this. Thank you all.

[sammyp]

To try and mitigate the risk of being too TMI I'm going to try to speak as clinically as possible. I hope that's acceptable.

I have severe endometriosis and a septate uterus which makes penetration impossible for my husband and I. We've been together for almost 15 years, married for 9 and have a healthy sex life. I just want to point out that intimacy doesn't always have to be penetration centered - if it did, we'd have a serious problem! We've adapted and found other ways to enjoy ourselves.

I mention all this to say that when you're very anxious about CDiff and/or UTIs, you don't have to give up on intimacy altogether. You can explore some other options until your anxiety decreases and you're ready to try again.

[AnxiousJ]

Sammy,

Thank you. I have a friend who has horrible endometriosis so I can understand. That makes a lot of sense. I think the reason I am so fearful is that I waited 3 years...three years to resume only to get a uti the 2nd time we tried in Dec. My urologist believes that was just a fluke and not because I am prone to them but it really scared me. I get what your saying about other ways and I assume you are referring to oral sex, but that scares me now too for some reason. The fantastic ID (C diff specialist) doctor I saw three years said it was fine to resume sex but I never asked about that in particular. I saw a few posts about that on this forum where people mentioned they stopped that all together. My husband never had the infection btw but for a while I worried he could be a carrier now. Thank you.

[Mmm]

I appreciate this post - and will respond in a loving manner. I too am now dealing with recurring UTIs and currently being treated for cdiff #3. I just got a culture back and they said you need to go on an abx for a new UTI. I understand the anxiety and worry.

I think the ‘joking’ responses were men who have never had UTIs, the pain etc with them. Their is an anxiety that goes with them just like cdiff. And when you have a UTI you have to have an abx. So it’s a constant fear.

I can’t answer about the sex part. We haven’t stopped. But maybe that’s why I’m paying the price. Some are more susceptible, body design etc. I have read about mannose d and ordered some from Amazon. It’s supposed to attach itself to E. coli which is what bacteria my urine grew.

[Mindy]

Well, I for one completely understand your fears. I too think about UTI after sex. I try always to urinate within a few minutes to clear out any bacteria. That was suggested long ago by a doctor before c diff. I also understand how this has affected you and your husband. C diff changes us . I had a severe case which required me hospitalized four times. Please feel free to pm me if you ever need support.

[beth22]

Many years ago when I was much younger, I would get UTIs sometimes and my doctor told me the same thing that Mindy's doctor did - to urinate after sex. It helped a lot to stop the UTIs.