How to move on..

[Lissaucd]

Hi Beth!

I think they only checked IGA. But maybe next time, I can have them check my other levels too! Being a teacher is such a rewarding and challenging job- I’m sure you didn’t have time to worry with all the kiddos!! When I was in college, I was a substitute teacher- primarily for children with special needs. I just loved it! I was exhausted at the end of the school day tho- now that I think about it, I didn’t worry about health much at all back then. I had too much to juggle between school and work! You we’re right about Doctor Stollman- wonderful doctor!!!! REALLY cares, listens and knows so much about c diff. I feel so incredibly fortunate I was able to get an appointment with him. I wish every doctor was like him!!!!!

[beth22]

Yes, he really is a great doctor. I wish that he wasn't a 6 hr drive or plane ride away. I have kept in touch with him off and on over the years and sent him questions and he was always gracious enough to answer me, even if I asked dumb questions. I taught high school and I have to say that I miss it, but with the pandemic I would not feel comfortable being in a classroom now anyway. That is not why I retired, just got older and did not have the energy, but had it not been for Covid, I would be substituting and perhaps have signed on for a class or two part-time.

[PamO]

I understand how you are feeling and there is a little something I would like to share, given that this is also part of my work/profession. Our microbiome regulates so many different things in our bodies and brains, and one of those is anxiety/depression. So, while many have some type of anxiety resulting from the "experience" of having Cdiff, there also appears to be a very real physical connection between the damage to the microbiome and the experience of anxiety. I am writing this because I think that understanding this can take the edge off of the anxiety and give it some context. Gut bacteria, for example, produces around 95% of the body's serotonin...it regulates mood and other functions. All of this takes time to recover, and I think it is important to care for this process and allow for the time it takes and promote the process by not further damaging it (be it junk food, alcohol, or negative mood and thoughts) - all easier said than done, at times, and takes work :-) I think that as your microbiome recovers fully, your anxiety will likely be reduced as well (if you allow it)

Your body also needs time to recover...I recall that I lost a whole lot of hair for the entire year after my cdiff episode, and my skin was peeling - on the inside and on the outside...all of it shedding the damage caused by toxins (I believe) and producing new and more healthy cells. However, I returned to work about a month after my episode - sitting was painful, and when my mind had time to wander it tended to want to think scary thoughts...but the distraction was good, took my mind off myself and off every little sensation in my body, and it gave me confidence in my body's ability to heal. I know that this is not unique to me.

I agree with Roy, in that it is very possible to move on and continue to live life. Actually getting distracted by working, travelling, or doing other things "out there" is probably very good to help with normalization. What if you never get this disease again? What if you get it again and there is a cure or even a vaccine by then? The what ifs can be positive ones as well :-)

[Lissaucd]

Hi Pam!

Thank you for the advice! I really appreciate you taking that time to explain the connection- that helps a lot! I’m still in the process of getting things going with work, I’m a little nervous but I think it will be good! Being a full time stay at home mama is just allowing my mind to race with scary thoughts too much! Thank you again!!!!

[Lissaucd]

I was doing so good, tried tofu And it gave me D. Now my mind is racing thinking it’s c diff and I stopped using my gloves!!!! Never freaking fails!!!!!