amg:
Thank you for sharing all of that information. I honestly do believe it. I've never felt more low. I accidentally read the side effect sheet and it freaked me out more... I'm officially taking 10mL of the oral solution and I just hope it takes care of everything. It's nice to be able to jump on here and just rant and let everything out. I truly have no where else to go (Facebook would be a mistake, lol).
Sigh, I just don't know how to feel, I had some apple sauce and took a Khlonopin. Now I'm just sitting here praying it helps and that it doens't cause secondary issues like renal failure. That one scares me, it already gives me slight bladder problems (burning) but the doctor said that's pretty common... I am doing my best to have hope. I'm waiting for my laundry to wash so I can go take a shower and lay down in bed with a hot pad.
For the first time in 8 months my stupid tummy hurts a little... I think I'm mentally checked out today. I spent 7am-10am in the instacare. Then at 10am I had to take my gorgeous mama bear to get her CPAP machine and meet with a respiratory therapist. After that I made my way to the community pharmacy at the hospital to get the oral solution and they told me they wouldn't have it until 3pm. I got there at 3pm and they told me that it would cost 250 dollars....
Luckily, the guy gave me a discount and left me with a refill after 8 days (which I'm having an FMT) so I'm not sure I'll need the refill just yet. But it turned out to only be 109 dollars. Such a nice guy, always helpful when i go there.
Now it's 5pm and I feel almost numb but hurt inside? If that makes any sense... Sometimes, I lay in bed and just think it wouldn't be so bad to go and then I just wish it happens in my sleep. Then I go the back yard and look at the sun set, my puppies and try to remember that life is worth living, this is a set back, a really horrible, mean set back.
But even after seeing my puppies and sitting in the sun, I get down again. I wonder if it's worth fighting anymore. I am really SURE that the levels of serotonin are effected in the gut. I can literally feel it. My spunkiness is shattered.
I really hope everyone else is feeling well today, I hope that everyone continues to heal and to anyone who might be ghost reading this, I know that my story sounds pretty horrible and that I sound dramatic but don't doubt yourself like I do myself, if you can at all, try to smile. Everyone here has taught me to just be strong and everyone has told me that you won't die.. It's just a hard battle... I'm trying to believe that... And if you are feeling anything like me then I challenge you to try and remember 10 things you love about your life. It helps. I made a list... Love yourself. <3
Vanco Taper & FMT?
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Re: Vanco Taper & FMT?
You ARE strong! This is temporary, RomGrl. You will get through this. It will be behind you, and you can look forward to the rest of your life and more sunsets and more puppies! It will happen. You have a plan, and you have medical help, and you'll beat this.
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Re: Vanco Taper & FMT?
amg:
I hope so. It's a new day and still liquid d. It scares me all I had was some soft scrambled eggs with nothing added yesterday. Sigh.
I hope so. It's a new day and still liquid d. It scares me all I had was some soft scrambled eggs with nothing added yesterday. Sigh.
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