Don't give up hope for a future

[wildwind]

Hi all, I'm sorry not to have written sooner. My last post found me, like so many others, severely depressed from my battle with C Diff. I had an ng transplant in January and have not needed any antibiotics since then, praise God. Yet still, the post C diff left me depressed, confused and anxious, waiting for the 'other shoe to drop'. I too was afraid to eat most foods.

I had to break away from the spiral of worry and fear.

My husband and I have just returned from six weeks traveling off and on. Our latest trip was a 17 day, 3500 mile, 7 state adventure through National Parks and Native American historical sites in the Southwest.

I was able to hike/walk up to five miles(with many stops and breaks)and bicycle every day. But here is the exciting part; I ate dinner in a resturant every night! I had some days with D and abdominal pain. I did not freak out - I just kept plugging along. I remembered Roy's and other's words that if I had D before C Diff and attributed it to 'rolling gut rot' then I could do so again.

I dwelt only on what I wanted to see the next day, I had to put my nightmare behind me and move forward. My back hurt (from the spine injury and subsequent wound infection, that started the whole mess over a year ago), I had to take pain meds often at night, and occasionally 1/2 of a pepto during the day, but it did not rule my life. I ate Tex-Mex, Thai, ice cream, steak, fresh fruit, vegetables, and even burgers with fries. I did not limit my diet, I did eat very small portions. I was amazed that it could be so.

I highly recomend, if at all possible, that you try to get away and do what you love as soon as you think you can be fairly comfortable. It does wonders for your morale, and for your family to see you enjoying life again. As Fire has said many times, exercise helps, it really does.

This post is meant to encourage those who are in despair, who wonder if they will ever get their life back. I was as low as I never thought I could be. This site is incredibly important for getting information, as a sounding board, and most of all to help others get through this horid infection/disease.

I cannot begin to thank those of you who continually help others get through their trials. This is an insipid condition, isolating and crushing; but the members here are a valuable asset, worth more than any doctor who may treat us, you are the true heroes!

My greatest respect for the founders and administrators of this site, what a gift from God.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, and may God bless you all with hope and a future.

Nancy

[beth22]

It's great to hear from you again and even better to hear that you were able to travel and do some of the things that you enjoy. We are planning a trip to Hawaii this year. Last year's vacation did not happen due to my horrific relapse and winding up in the ER, so I plan to do everything in my power to go this time. Your post gives me inspiration to do so. I too, fall into the deep despair that you talk about and it is through people on this support group, my work, and my faith that I can get through it usually.
Thanks for letting us know how you are and I will keep praying for your continued recovery.

[Mommy23]

Nancy-
So wonderful to read your post, I've been praying for you.
Thank you for your inspiration and words of encouragement.
So glad to see you are turning the corner!

[ginabc]

awesome. I have a smile ear to ear.

great.

gina

[Bobbie]

wildwind,
Sounds like you practiced "good medicine," and it worked. I traveled a number of times with active C. diff., and it helped "keep my mind" off my problems.

Congrats.!!!!

[debdee]

Hi wildwind,

Thanks for sharing about your success and the great vacation you enjoyed. I had an infusion a couple of weeks ago at the Rogue Valley Medical Center in Medford, Oregon. I'm still dealing with fears and depression like you described, but I must say after two weeks, I'm feeling a bit better. I have a long ways to go to gain back the 30 pounds that I've lost. It was 30 pounds I didn't need to lose in the first place. I still have loud ringing in my ears.... don't know if the flagyl contributed to that, but hopefully that goes away over time.
I'm still tired a lot and just need some weight for padding. It hurts to sit for long. I need cushioning. :-)
I pray that you continue to heal. I too am thankful for all the supportive people on this site. Nobody understands like all of you.
Thank you for caring and for the help. Thank you to roy for posting about the doctor in Medford. Thank you beth22, mx mx and the others for support and advice. I will post more over time and let you know how things are going.

debdee

[wildwind]

Continuing to thrive. What a small world, Debdee had her procedure in my very town! For those of you not familiar, due to the outpouring of compassion from this very site, and letters written by members here to the hospital administrators, this procedure was available for her at this hospital. I assume Dr. Schlienitz did her procedure, he is one of the compassionate defenders for people suffering from C Diff. It took him a year to fight for the ability to perform infusions/transplants at three local hospitals in Medford, Oregon. Most doctors wouldn't have even tried, but he stayed with it, bouyed by the support from this site's contributions for his cause, he felt that is what turned the tide and helped get the permission. Kudos Dr. Schlienitz, may God continue to bless you!

I still have abdominal pain, mostly in the morning when I wake. But I had a follow up colonoscopy in June and was found to be completely normal. This is a great reminder for those of us who are C Diff free who still have some food intolerances, and abdominal pain. It took awhile before I didn't immediately worry that it was coming back, and I believe it is NORMAL to still have some abdominal issues and food intolerances for an extended period of time. It doesn't mean C Diff is coming back.

There is hope for you, no matter which method you choose for treatment, it does get better, but it also does take time. Give yourself some time, do some things you love. There is a life after C Diff!