115 days later

We spend a lot of time talking about the bad news in this discussion group - here's the spot for the good news. If you've had c-diff and are now well, please tell us about it here.
tag
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Joined: Fri Mar 10, 2017 8:35 pm

115 days later

Postby tag » Fri Mar 10, 2017 9:48 pm

Hi all,
Apologies in advance at how long this will be, I need to get all of this off my chest in the hopes it gives some people encouragement.
My name is Talia and I am the fourteen year old daughter of amg, a pretty frequent poster on this forum. If you weren't aware, I contracted C Diff around a week after a laparoscopic appendectomy the first of July 2016. I took Vanco, Flagyl, Vanco, Flagyl, and lastly a Dificid taper. I took five total courses (three different medications) with anywhere from 2 days to 3 weeks between relapses. It has been eight months since my appendectomy.
Today, March 10th of 2017 marks my 115th day antibiotic and c diff free. Those 115 days have taught me more about my body, mind, and spirit than I could ever imagine. First, I am so much stronger than I was aware of; mentally and physically.
For some background, I have dealt with anxiety since I was very young; it runs in my family. From 6th to 7th grade I saw a therapist who helped me greatly and prior to my infection I hadn't been anxious on the same level since then. Being brutally honest, some of these days I didn't believe I was going to get better. I didn't trust my body, modern medicine, or time. I didn't give my body the respect and love it deserves, and didn't recognize or appreciate how hard it was fighting for me. Nearly every day seemed like a task during my sickness. Looking back on that now, I can't fathom how I felt like that.

Before C Diff, I had the most active social schedule of anyone I knew. There wouldn't be more than an hour on weekends or sometimes weekdays that I wasn't A) busting my butt at volleyball, B) spending time with my circle of friends, or C) relaxing with my family. I HATED being alone more than anyone I knew. During my recovery, I was more introverted than I'd like to admit. I would rarely go out with friends, even when it was offered, making excuses as to why I couldn't go. I was lying to myself that I had other things on my plate, that it wasn't because I was scared, I just didn't have time to meet up with people. In reality, I was terrified. I thought that if I went out I would either feel sick, be sick, or have an anxiety attack. I distanced myself from my friends and myself.
Now, with the help of my friends, family, and a new therapist, I have overcome what has had the biggest impact on my wellbeing. Since being off of Dificid, I have gone to two out-of-state 3 day volleyball tournaments, countless social functions, 2 hour practice 3x a week, and attended high school finishing the first trimester with a 3.5 gpa. I take pride in the opportunities I have now, due to the fact I that I know what it's like to not have them. Every day when I wake up, I see things I'm grateful for. I have returned to being the most positive, smiley, and joyful girl I know.
These last few weeks I have never felt better, even prior to C Diff. Nearly everything I see brings hope and light into my life, and if it doesn't I learn from it. I have learned to trust my strength, internal and external. I give my body the love it deserves. To see what it has done for me has changed my life and I now can't imagine not being grateful or taking things for granted. Not being able to play volleyball for months, which brings more joy than any other activity in my life, gives me a purpose now to succeed.
I'm my club team's team captain, and every time I step onto the court I play with purpose. You will never see me giving less than 100%, because I now know what it is like to not be physically able to give anything. The best day of my life was after C Diff. It was at a school volleyball tournament, and it was the first time I felt completely in control of my body, an ability I lacked for months. This experience has given me a new outlook on life, and for a long time that newly-found perspective was negative. I have done a complete 180.
If you are going through what I have, please listen to me and take this to heart. It may seem like your body is against you, know that this isn't true. Recognize what you are going through, how hard it is, and how you deserve to get through this. What saved me from a dark place was trust. Trust in myself and modern medicine. Trust that there was a time before C Diff, and trust that there will be a time after. And also love. Accept love from friends and family, and especially from yourself. Meditation has also helped me and my anxiety (I use a free app called Headspace -- its AMAZING!).
I now live relatively normally, eating many foods I used to love and also finding substitutions for things I can't eat anymore. If you have questions about what I eat, please let me know! I am open to sharing :) My mid-morning IBS has also pretty much disappeared. I never thought I would say this, but I am ME for the first time in nearly a year. If you have any questions about this road to recovery feel free to ask, I would be glad to help anyone who wants it. Best of luck to all of you, you're all in my prayers and I wish you all the best.
Congratulations to all who have conquered this horrible disease, and props to everyone who will in the future beat this. You WILL! I promise.

Benh
Contributor
Posts: 94
Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2017 5:36 pm

Re: 115 days later

Postby Benh » Fri Mar 10, 2017 10:08 pm

Great post, Talia! Thank you for sharing. Post like this do indeed give people like me hope and remind me that there will be a life after c diff, although it is tough to see clearly at times. I too hope to be positing in this thread sometime soon!

tag
Brand New Poster
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Mar 10, 2017 8:35 pm

Re: 115 days later

Postby tag » Fri Mar 10, 2017 10:39 pm

Benh, you will get through this! I'm sure of it and we are all here to support you through this journey.

nickii52
Contributor
Posts: 60
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2016 3:58 pm

Re: 115 days later

Postby nickii52 » Sat Mar 11, 2017 12:18 am

So happy for you hopefully I'm right behind you

georgina
Long Time Contributor
Posts: 2635
Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2015 10:07 am

Re: 115 days later

Postby georgina » Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:02 am

Thank you for sharing with us your success story. Wishing you continuous improvement!

cdaleguy
Contributor
Posts: 67
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 3:40 pm

Re: 115 days later

Postby cdaleguy » Thu Mar 16, 2017 12:36 pm

Thanks for sharing and being an encouragement. Keep going! Onward and upward!

Tsc1964
Regular Contributor
Posts: 239
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2016 1:18 am

Re: 115 days later

Postby Tsc1964 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 11:44 pm

Thank you so much for sharing this . Your a very strong young lady. So happy hear your getting back to your life.best wishes.


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