Feel like I'm on the cusp of a relapse

Since c-diff is a disease of the "lower half", so to speak, we find that many of our members cannot refrain from discussing what comes out the bottom end. If you must do it, please do it here.
Davidtm
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Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 10:15 pm

Feel like I'm on the cusp of a relapse

Postby Davidtm » Tue Jul 11, 2017 1:39 pm

I'm 20 weeks out from my fmt and having some all too familiar feelings. It hasn't been a smooth 20 weeks and have had off days but this time is different. I have been constipated since the fmt where I'm going every 2-3 days and has looked normal. I'm having an issue where the start is a little liquid followed by solid. Now today cramping and some pain. I feel like I'm on the cusp of d and I'm just at a complete loss. I haven't taken any antibiotics or any other medication at all. Is it possible that this whole time it's been fighting to take over and was never gone?
I'd be shocked that it isn't gone by now but the feelings I'm feeling are all too familiar. My anxiety and stress is in overdrive and my therapy isn't helping nor will they prescribe me medication as they don't believe it would help in my case. I know about the 3 day rule but for me I go from normal to bad in a day or two.
I haven't had anything adventurous to eat and haven't done much different the last month. I'm hoping it's just stress but I needed to vent and hope that it's normal to have an off few days that feel like it's back when it's not. I don't know how to continue forward if it's back. I feel I've tried it all.
I don't want to test too soon as I'm probably a carrier and don't see what benefit a test would be. There is just no peace of mind this entire tire and I keep reading about others that relapsed without reason at 4 months to a year. I just want to be safe and better.

NanciT
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Posts: 3035
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 12:01 pm

Re: Feel like I'm on the cusp of a relapse

Postby NanciT » Tue Jul 11, 2017 6:56 pm

It can take a very long time to recover. Stress can have terrible effects on us, I don't see how after 20 weeks you could have a relapse. Give it time. You will have these off days.
Have you increased your fiber? Water? What are you doing for the constipation? It all takes time. I think the anxiety stays right below the surface and then if we think we are having symptoms....it jumps up and takes over. I am two years out and recently tested after several days of D and pain. Negative. I was sure it was back.
Talk to your GI about your symptoms. Its difficult to deal with the anxiety, I wish I had a cure for that after this illness.

Take care....go out for a long walk, watch a funny movie....get your mind off of this

NanciT

beth22
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Re: Feel like I'm on the cusp of a relapse

Postby beth22 » Wed Jul 12, 2017 2:01 am

You may just have a bug of some kind. My friend just told me she had D and symptoms and she never had c difficile. Stuff goes around in the summer with hot weather.

Acres
Regular Contributor
Posts: 172
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 11:24 am

Re: Feel like I'm on the cusp of a relapse

Postby Acres » Wed Jul 12, 2017 6:47 pm

When I was in recovery every pain or "off" stool would send me into panic which I believe just increased the pain and "off" stools....
My anxiety went directly into my gut....
Even a year later I was having occasional issues....I was getting better, but slowly...Then all of a sudden I started to improve quickly....
I think the addition of ground flax seed in my diet was very helpful for my gut....Since then I have been 90% improved....

Good advice to try to take your mind off your gut....I would watch movies, listen to music, hike etc....

I had a very bad head cold several months ago and it spread to my gut. My anxiety hit the roof. Went to my GI, tested twice due to pain and loose stools. All came back negative and after about 2 weeks I improved....
Scott

MKW
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Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Feel like I'm on the cusp of a relapse

Postby MKW » Sun Jul 16, 2017 5:30 pm

Hi, please keep us posted on how you are. I totally understand your concerns. I had my FMT done March 2nd and have been C Diff free since. But, I have had increasing problems with IBS. I just went to a new GI doc locally last week about it. (Had to go out of town for FMT doc). So I keep fearing of course - that I've just barely been holding c Diff in check all along. It makes me crazy. Every time I have cramping I have a panic attack. Because sadly my mind tells me - three other times for me bad cramping DID mean C Diff was back. It's like my mind won't just let it go. My primary care doc says I have PTSD. ... for me, I have worse bowel function now than one month after my FMT. I expected it to be a healing process with gradual improvement. Not worse four months later. The only explanation I can come up with that my microbiome is still going through an adjustment period. Also, the new doc said damage done from infection may just result in some type of hypersensitive state that manifests as IBS symptoms.

Davidtm
Regular Contributor
Posts: 225
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 10:15 pm

Re: Feel like I'm on the cusp of a relapse

Postby Davidtm » Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:49 am

Thank you for the replies everyone. Apparently it was just a bad day and I'm embarrassed that I got so freaked out. I'm sure it won't be the last time. Fighting nausea today. But not replapse. I have taken steps to get new help with my mental health. I have a goal to start letting go and moving forward and accepting that it is unlikely for me to worry about things so far out. And to accept that if it does happen I need to be calm and move forward constructively and bravely like so many people here. Thank you nancit, Beth, Scott, and MKW. I appreciate it and take all of your words to heart. MKW I know what you mean about the ptsd and panic all too well. and im hoping we can follow the others advice and get past it. Glad to hear your tests were negative Scott.
I've been trying to eat more water and have fruit every day but I've been under some bad stress at work and feel that it was contributing to my symptoms. Stuff that I wouldn't have cared about before that become mountains that make me think c diff. Anyway, anyone reading this should take comfort in knowing that even though the road to recovery is bumpy, there is a road.

beth22
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Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2009 2:23 pm

Re: Feel like I'm on the cusp of a relapse

Postby beth22 » Mon Jul 17, 2017 2:41 am

I was doing really well until I had some unexpected problems at work and I let myself get really stressed about them. Symptoms all came back. I've been testing positive on PCR for a year now anyway, but had gained weight, felt better and then after the stressing for a few days, I'm still trying to recover a month later. I guess I have to learn how to let things not bother me so much too. Easier said than done.

NanciT
Long Time Contributor
Posts: 3035
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 12:01 pm

Re: Feel like I'm on the cusp of a relapse

Postby NanciT » Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:18 am

David

Don't ever feel embarrassed here, we have all been there and continue to battle through...myself two years later with issues that relate to POST CDIFF. It is a process and if you have ever relapsed it makes things tough. That fear takes over. We are here to listen and also go over our own frustrating experiences, we try and make sure no one walks alone through this, especially in recovery when in a moment things can change.

Happy things are better for you!

NanciT


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