People will talk

Veteran support board users and new posters - use this forum to talk about whatever you want. Topics may be C. diff. related but are not required to be. Post here about posters' birthdays, holiday greetings, vacation plans, etc. If it doesn't fit in another forum, put it here.
MrsM25
Regular Contributor
Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2017 4:41 pm

People will talk

Postby MrsM25 » Tue Jan 23, 2018 5:58 pm

Since being diagnosed with cdiff in October and going through many relapses until my FMT which was done 2.5 weeks ago, you can say I have had my ups and downs physically, mentally and emotionally. I have lost a few pounds (I am only 5’3” and 102lbs anyway) and have had my fair share of symptoms and trips to the ER since then. Recovering from my FMT has proved to be a bit more challenging then I thought it would be. I ran fevers in the very beginning for about 4 days, have only just started to have some regularity with my BM’s and have had lots of food intolerances. It hasn’t been easy finding nutritious things to eat. Anyway...the last 2 Sunday’s, my mother in law has offered to come and take my two kids (ages 4 and 19 months) for the day to do something with them since I have been having a rough time. I haven’t told her much about what has been going on with me but I haven’t really told anyone except my husband, my parents and my sister in law who is my best friend. I’m generally a private person and this isn’t something I find easy to talk to people about. She has known something has been going on because my husband told her I was in the ER recently but she hasn’t specifically come to me to ask what’s going on and hasn’t really seemed concerned to do so, which is fine, less I have to explain. But, yesterday, my sister in law told me that on Sunday when my mother in law had my kids, she was over there telling them something isn’t right with me and I look terrible and thin. My son also told me that they visited several other family members and I’m sure she told them all the same thing. My mother in law has always been a busy body (picture the the mom on everybody loves Raymond and this is almost exactly how she is). When I found out, I was really hurt that she would go around to a bunch of family members and tell them these things about me without knowing why or what’s actually going on with me and that she wouldn’t just come to me and ask me herself. If someone is concerned about you, you would think they would talk to you and not the whole town first. It literally felt like she just wanted to talk about me and now the family thinks there’s something going on with me, God only knows what. I feel like I’m extra sensitive right now because I’ve been beaten down so badly with this stupid cdiff and emotionally it has been tough so this really just pushed a button with me. Just had to get this off of my chest. I know everyone here can relate to how this stupid illness affects you not only physically but also mentally and emotionally.

beth22
Long Time Contributor
Posts: 9166
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2009 2:23 pm

Re: People will talk

Postby beth22 » Wed Jan 24, 2018 2:10 am

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. As if having c diff and feeling bad isn't enough. Your mother-in-law may be just overly concerned. Maybe she told other family members in hopes that someone knew something and would tell her. Have you spoken to your husband about it? She might think you have cancer or something serious and is afraid to ask you and now just made things worse by her nosiness. I would talk to your husband and see if he thinks that you should both talk to her. It's hard to say since I don't know you or your family, but just throwing out some thoughts. I would be hurt too.

MrsM25
Regular Contributor
Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2017 4:41 pm

Re: People will talk

Postby MrsM25 » Wed Jan 24, 2018 11:31 am

I talked to my husband and he didn’t seem as concerned as I did but said he understood why it hurt my feelings. He said I shouldn’t let it bother me because that’s how she is with everyone but I couldn’t help it. Generally, I really don’t let things bother me. I have been with my husband for almost 11 years and I know my mother in law judges how I and my other sister in laws do things. It really never bothered me because all that really matters is how my husband and I feel and how we agree or disagree on how things are done but this just felt so personal. That she would talk to the whole family about how terrible I look and something is going on with me. Most of these people don’t see me very often and although I know I lost a couple of pounds, I don’t look that sickly but now all these people are thinking the worst. I just felt like if she really was concerned about me, she would’ve asked me or even my husband first (her son), not everyone else who barely sees me. It just felt like an intentional jab at me in my weak emotional state because I really am going through a tough time. It felt terrible that she would use that against me.
I ended up telling her that I knew what she said and that it hurt my feelings and I hope she doesn’t talk about me in front of my own children when she has them. My husband and I have been trying to keep things as normal as possible for them through this whole process. I told her that I thought we had a better relationship then that and if she wanted to know what was going on with me, she should’ve just asked and I would’ve told her. She just said she was sorry and no she doesn’t talk about me in front of my kids.


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