Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

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Healed
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Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:50 pm

Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby Healed » Wed May 10, 2017 3:37 am

All~
I often cry and get so depressed. I try to be strong but can't. My anxiety and worrying just will not stop. CDiff and post Cdiff really does get the best of a person mentally and physically. I feel so torn. I want to believe that cDiff is no longer my issue. Dealing w/IBS is not fun either. I am debating on looking for a new GI doctor or at least get a second opinion .

I know some of the posters mentioned that it took like 6 months or longer for their bowel movements to return back to normal. Question- even w/ IBS -- Did you still experience weight loss?

I have rarely gotten any sleep. And like many of our posters, I have struggled w/other health issues prior to cDiff.

I finally returned back to work yesterday. I am hoping returning back to work will make me feel better becuz then I am around people and not alone- at home w/ my thoughts. I wish we could do a phone connection. I tried sending a PM -- but it appears to still be in the outbox and will not send.

Just rambling on.. But this is the time I am up. So tired.. So tired...

Davidtm
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Posts: 226
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 10:15 pm

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby Davidtm » Wed May 10, 2017 5:17 am

I've got a touch of insomnia myself. This disease does take a psychological toll and you're not alone in that. I think it's good that you are returning back to work. Keeping busy is the best thing for a mind that worries is what I was always told. I used up all of my time off anyway. I was told that it's good to try and transition back to normal activities and your normal routines. I spent two weeks off work obsessed and anxious. So much wasted time and it only made things worse for me. I used to say getting more anxious with each day that passes.. And now I say I'm getting more confident and less anxious with each day forward. I saw a therapist. It helped me to get some perspective. It can take a while to feel better after such a harsh disease. Hang in there and breath deeply. Light is at the end of the tunnel!

georgina
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Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby georgina » Wed May 10, 2017 6:06 am

Sorry you are dealing with "the joys of CDiff" , most of us can relate. Ever since Cdiff started I had the worst insomnia and depression along with panic attacks so I had to go and seek help from a psychiatrist. I suggest you do the same , as it seems you need really need some help with anxiety. Going back to work will be good for you , leaving the house for shopping , movies or just a simple walk will help to lift up your mood and stop obsessing over CDiff. Work and my dog anti antidepressants helped keep my sanity when I was loosing my mind.

roy
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Joined: Sat Aug 02, 2014 1:05 am

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby roy » Wed May 10, 2017 8:53 am

A PM will leave your out box when the person reads your message.

Musings
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Posts: 240
Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2016 8:38 am

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby Musings » Wed May 10, 2017 9:32 am

I am a little over 4 months post c.diff and not back to "normal" so while frustrating, and anxiety inducing, it is not uncommon for it to take quite some time for a full recovery from the lingering effects of c.diff. Additionally, I saw a therapist and started an anti-anxiety medication while battling c.diff and both were helpful for me and maybe something to consider for yourself.

~Lauren

Lisa33
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Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2014 1:45 pm

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby Lisa33 » Wed May 10, 2017 10:50 am

We have all been in your shoes, and your feelings are all normal. Going back to work and getting back to your normal life routines is great therapy for the mind. Recovery is very difficult from an anxiety standpoint and we are constantly waiting to see if c diff is going to come back. As time passes on, this anxiety will subside. I had c-diff in Sept 2014, and have dealt with IBS off and on since. The IBS was A LOT worse the first 6-8 months in recovery. Now it comes in bouts. It took me 8 months to have just one-two BMs per day. I recently had an endoscopy and colonoscopy to make sure nothing else was going on since I was still getting these bouts of IBS that would kick my butt. Results showed no other issues. I never had any GI issues/IBS prior to c-diff. This illness can just alter your gut. With my bouts of IBS, I get terrible nausea and lack of appetite, so with my experience, weight loss is common. Once the IBS is over, I usually gain all the weight back (which is a bummer to me.)

You will get better and these feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and anxiety will subside with time.
Lisa

Acres
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Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2016 11:24 am

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby Acres » Wed May 10, 2017 7:35 pm

Hi,
I understand about your pain, anxiety and depression.... There were many days last year I thought the aching, pain, weight loss, anxiety and depression would never end...But I improved slowly and I DID get better and better.....
Getting out of the house was a big help for me to battle the depression...
My Dr. gave me Xanax .25 (lowest dose) to help me sleep....He was very careful with the script and would never approve a refill unless I called and talked to him first....
I also drank chamomile tea to relax. It really made me sleepy.... and I listened to music in bed (ipod with headphones) which helped as well....
My pi-ibs lasted about 8 months....
I started to add foods successfully about 8 months post my last dose of abx....

It took me about a year to start to gain weight again....

Try to go for short walks, and then build up the length of time gradually....
I remember the first time I took my dog for a hike after sitting in the house for a couple of months. I could not stop smiling and laughing, people on the trail must of thought I was nuts !

You will get better and one day you will look back and say to yourself. I made it. I beat the monster....
Get well soon, Scott

Healed
Regular User
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:50 pm

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby Healed » Thu May 11, 2017 3:26 am

Thank you All~
Thank you-Lisa, Acres,Georgina,Davidtm,Roy, and Lauren-
You all have been so helpful. This online forum is helpful.

Nick
Brand New Poster
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2017 5:17 pm

weight loss and stressed

Postby Nick » Mon Aug 21, 2017 5:38 pm

Hi im new to this board and ended up in hospital for a simple blood draw that
they put 2 strains of bacteria in my injection site and got deadly sick my arm the size of a football
and 14 days on antibiotics and when i started to get better then get hit with CDIFF
first time in my life to be sick like this and 1st time in hospital and its turned me in to major
anxiety and stress and now im starting to get over the CDIFF but first 14 days lost 2 pounds in
hospital and then with CDIFF another 12 pounds in a week and now 14 pounds down and really stressing me out
as im very thin the way it was and havent had diarrhea for 8 days and have been eating really well
and havent gained a pound. Can my high level of stress and anxiety be hurting me as well does anyone
know and now my sleep is a mess and my body wont stay asleep for more than 2 hours at a time and i just wake up
never happened to me in my life. the weight is very concerning as i am eating very well and
getting lots of protein as well.. Thanks much for any help you can give me...

beth22
Long Time Contributor
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Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2009 2:23 pm

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby beth22 » Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:39 pm

Hello Nick and welcome to the site. Please read the first forum for more information. Weight loss is common with c difficile. It takes time to gain back what you lose. Anxiety can affect both your weight and your sleep. Lady year I was in the hospital and could not sleep more than a few hours either.

georgina
Long Time Contributor
Posts: 2219
Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2015 10:07 am

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby georgina » Tue Aug 22, 2017 12:51 am

Hy Nick
Sorry you are dealing with Cdiff and all it's "joys". I never had insomnia before Cdiff , and when Cdiff started I experienced the worst and strange insomnia , I was exhausted , I was having night when I wasn't able to go to sleep at all , night when I was sleeping but waking up every hour or nights when I was sleeping only 2-3 hours . Decided that I can't deal with that anymore and I paid a visit to my psychiatrist , he gave me Remeron witch helped me return to my 8 hours sleep and also gave me my appetite back and gained weight, controlled the anxiety, unfortunately I went off of it after six months because of a study I have read that Remeron might be linked to Cdiff and I made the worst mistake as the insomnia came back with a vengeance.

Bobbie
Administrator
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Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:00 pm

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby Bobbie » Tue Aug 22, 2017 3:43 am

If many of you have insomnia, why don't you coordinate by PM and meet on the Chat Board to "talk." It will take away a little of the loneliness and fear. Be sure and consider different time zones. Sure, you are "strangers" but you have a common bond.

Bobbie
Administrator
Posts: 12140
Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:00 pm

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby Bobbie » Tue Aug 22, 2017 3:52 am

Nick,
I would call the hospital CEO and duscuss your situation. I had a blood draw the other day and am lucky I did not have a problem as the nurse tried to get a sample from the top of my left arm, causing pain and bleeding. I showed her my "good" vein in my left arn but she jabbed me in the left arm before I could stop her.

Feel better.

KatNS
New User
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2018 8:30 am

Re: Very Sad; Depressed and Scared.....

Postby KatNS » Sun Apr 01, 2018 8:48 am

I am new here. I am experiencing insomnia. Is that the med (metronidazole) or the c. diff or both?


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