Hopeful and thankful

Veteran support board users and new posters - use this forum to talk about whatever you want. Topics may be C. diff. related but are not required to be. Post here about posters' birthdays, holiday greetings, vacation plans, etc. If it doesn't fit in another forum, put it here.
jds0870
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Hopeful and thankful

Postby jds0870 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 3:11 am

Hello everyone I hope everyone is doing well or on their way to feeling better. I just wanted to post because I feel hopeful that I may be okay. No my stomach is nowhere near what it was before I got c diff in 2014. But I'm negative by Pcr! It makes me feel grateful. I never imagined I would go though something like this starting at 28. I was young didn't worry about germs. Teased my mother because she's super ocd about cleaning and germs. Then I started getting sick and it took 4 months for the doctors to find out why. My c diff journey has been the hardest thing I've ever done and I've had major kidney surgeries growing up and this was more terrifying because it is so unpredictable. I've had two surgeries in the last year...first one during active infection an second just a couple weeks ago after FMT . I went through 2 rounds of Flagyl 4 rounds of Vanco and finally 2 fmts via enema. So many relapses I forget all while trying to raise two little girls. So scared I wouldn't be around to watch them grow up. After my fmts I had to take abx for a uti...I was only one month out of FMT I was so scared. Then 2 weeks ago appendix out. They gave me a strong broad spectrum through iv. Within two days I was having D 10-15 times a day. I cried until I was exhausted sure it was back. I gave it 5-6 days then tested. Waited another 2-3 for Pcr and toxin results. Friday an hour before i got off work the nurse called and it was negative!! I cried at work...tears of happiness. And left feeling more hopeful than I have since it started. I've made it through two abx after fmts I know it could still show up down the road but I'm hopeful. This is the longest I've gone since this ordeal without relapsing. It's been 7 months since my FMT today! And although I have ibs for about a week out of each month I am hopeful I will only get better from here. I know I wouldn't have gotten here without this site, without the amazing people and moderators and posters. I've made a few friends on here I talk to almost daily. My family is amazing but they will never understand except my step Gma who had it and got the FMT. I can never forget the emotional distress from c diff. People on this site have pulled me off the ledge more than once. I learned how to advocate for my health and not just take what the doctor said as word. I wouldn't wish this on anyone and I may fight it down the road but I can't shake this happy hopeful feeling and had to share for those hurting cause I'm not one that's bounced right back but I'm still here fighting and it is getting slowly and emphasis on slowly better. I thibk the me having an autoimmune disease made me more susceptible to c diff. Please don't give up anyone and hold on cause even if it takes longer or you are slow to get there it will get better. I pray for everyone on this site nightly. I also pray for a cure cause we all know what works for one doesn't work for all. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this site and the people on it! Thank you all. Keep fighting!

georgina
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Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby georgina » Sun Jul 17, 2016 5:44 am

So happy for you Jerri , it seems that you are getting well and hopefully you will stay well. Glad your test was negative. Prayers for a speedy recovery!

getwellsoon
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Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby getwellsoon » Sun Jul 17, 2016 6:28 am

Such good news and I am also so happy for you. Glad we could help you in this terrible time. Now go live your young life and be happy. Best of luck to you.
CAROL

susant
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Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby susant » Sun Jul 17, 2016 11:13 am

Thank you. I needed to read this today!! Very happy for you

Cm1619
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Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby Cm1619 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 11:50 am

Oh I'm so happy for you. I just went through a few of your posts after searching for "mucous in recovery" and am touched by your story and so happy you are feeling better now!!! Sounds like you have bad IBS like me. I also have a little girl(NOT 2!) and am alone in raising her just temporarily. My husband is away for work for 3 months. I do not know how you did it but you did!! I am in awe. I don't have family near by to help with my little girl and it's been terrifying, to say the least, to know that this can come back and make me a "bad mamma" again. When I was sick 3 months ago, I let her watch so much tv and we never got to play. I still have guilt about it. I also worry I will pass it to her like you worried. But I have read here that it is very uncommon and I'm so careful now with hand washing and cleaning!

I hope you continue to recover well and the IBS flare ups happen less and less for you!

beth22
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Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby beth22 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 12:16 pm

So glad you are doing better and that your test was negative. Hopefully, it will stay that way, but at least you know that FMT worked for you and should you relapse at some point, you can always do that again. They are working on new treatments that are not antibiotics, and perhaps those will come out in the near future.

jds0870
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Joined: Tue May 12, 2015 8:43 pm

Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby jds0870 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 12:24 pm

Thank you Georgina, I'm so grateful to you, you have really talked with me on messenger and your words really helped. Especially our last conversation. I can't wait for the day when you post you're negative. I will probably cry tears of happiness for you. I know you will keep fighting..you're faith is impressive. You're such an amazing friend and I know you'll get that negative soon. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Thank you getwellsoon, you've responded to many of my posts in distress. I am grateful!

Susan I have been reading your posts lately, and my heart hurts for you. The way you feel from some of the posts I've read is the way I've felt so many times. I thought I'd NEVER be posting anything feeling the way I feel now. I know you just got your 2nd FMT upper and lower. This has got to be it for you! And I've had m & d during recovery a lot. So don't worry girl you got this!! I'll be saying extra prayers for you.

Cm1619 the first thing I want to say is you are NOT a bad mama! You can't help that you've had a serious illness. I know why you say you feel that way because I've said the same many times. Our kids will not remember this and think we were bad moms. We have so much time to make it up. But I have felt like that and cried from guilt for being sick for so long. Being a tv mom cause I felt so sick. I didn't do it all alone. I have an amazing mother and stepfather who love my girls and me and they helped me as much as they could. I felt so guilty to have them take them and watch them more than they should of had to. So i did have their help on the really bad days. How hard not having your hubby cause he's working. I hope he gets to come home soon! I was really scared for the first year my girls would get it. Like obsessive! Lol i do give my girls probiotics daily since this ordeal started and hand washing like crazy people lol. But after a while i didn't worry as much because I knew I was taking proper precautions and I know you're doing the same. So your little girl will be okay. Praying for you! I've read posts of yours on here...I've probably read most posts more than once lol cause I'd be on here 24/7. I can really be a crazy lady when I get obsessed and focused on something :)

jds0870
Regular Contributor
Posts: 136
Joined: Tue May 12, 2015 8:43 pm

Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby jds0870 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 12:29 pm

Thank you Beth. You're an amazing and strong woman. You've been doing this for a long time now on and off from what I've read. I am so hopeful for the new ser109 I've read so much about it. Hopefully in the future if someone were to get c diff it'll be no big deal and treatment will be easy. Thank you for all you do for this site. You've been so helpful, I'm very grateful to you.

Bobbie
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Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby Bobbie » Sun Jul 17, 2016 6:32 pm

Do not feel guilty about being a "bad" mom. You weren't. You had to take care of yourself.

Glad you are doing better.

georgina
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Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby georgina » Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:06 am

You are not a bad mom , your are just a sick mom but you will get well and be able to give your daughters the attention they need. I'm keeping you in my prayers too and thank you for you kind words.
{hugs}

Lisa33
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Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby Lisa33 » Mon Jul 18, 2016 10:54 am

I am so happy to hear that you are doing so much better and have finally kicked c-diff's butt, Jerri. You have really been through the ringer, but you came out the other side. Being a mom who is sick is probably the hardest part of dealing with this illness. You are a very strong woman and mother and should be proud of yourself.

Thank you so much for posting this very positive, uplifting message. I think a lot of posters needed to read this today.

Wishing you even better days ahead!
Lisa

NanciT
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Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby NanciT » Mon Jul 18, 2016 10:23 pm

I am so happy you are feeling better, not 100% but you are getting there! I agree with you, CDIFF is devastating to deal with, I have heard it over and over from so many who have had other serious illnesses.
The recovery can take time but slowly you will get there.
I have also become so very grateful on "good" days when I feel like myself again. There is such a feeling of despair with this illness, when it is behind you...it is amazing!
Wishing you continued wellness!
NanciT

jds0870
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Joined: Tue May 12, 2015 8:43 pm

Re: Hopeful and thankful

Postby jds0870 » Wed Jul 20, 2016 12:35 am

Thank you Bobbie! You're such a strong woman..it truly is inspiring.

Lisa thank you so much. You're probably one of the kindest woman I've spoken with. You're family is very lucky to have you. It's very true...being a sick mama is tough. You try to hide it so you don't scare your children but some days are overwhelming. My 6&7 year know what c diff is. They even ask mommy is your c diff better:) they know more than a lot of adults. Poor kiddos. But at least they'll be informed on abx. Thank you for being there.

Nanci thank you!! Really! You have really helped me hold to hope the test could be negative. Because you've had severe ibs also and our symptoms were similar. You're very kind and caring. I appreciate all your optimism. It is such a slow proces to heal. Even the smallest thing can set you back. But hey it's helped my eating habits because they weren't the best. :)


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