Lighten up a little bit???

[newtracy]

In a thread yesterday, a moderator made a comment that "Everyone is entitled to some self pity, but when it is constant, it is tedious and annoying..." in reference to a user that was upset about a possible relapse. I have to say, I found that to be pretty harsh. Everyone handles stress differently. Each of us have different life situations that affect the way we deal with things. Some people keep things inside, others feel the need to communicate (more than once a day, too). And unfortunately, there are those out there with no close family and/or friends to talk to. This might be the only place they have to express their feelings. I would hate to think that anyone would be made to feel unwelcome here and then have nowhere to turn, which certainly wouldn't help their recovery.

Also, I must admit that I don't really understand "TMI" issue: this is a forum for people suffering from C-Diff, an infection whose main symptom is diarrhea, mucus, etc....and everyone has BMs anyway....so why can't we discuss it openly??

It is not my intention to be "snarky"...I do appreciate much of the support and info I have gotten on this site....but, as a "newbie", just wanted to say that there are some aspects of the board that seem a bit rigid. I hope that my comments are received in the spirit in which they are given, and that I will be permitted to continue posting....

[getwellsoon]

I agree that response might have sounded harsh. We all try to be as supportive as we can but we are all human. I don't think it was the intention to be mean or snarky but when someone posts continually and doesn't seem to accept the advice given it is frustrating when you are trying to help. Also, hearing someone speak about their life being over, they will never get well etc. is very depressing for other people who need encouragement and would find this very upsetting. We have given the poster the best advice we can give, we can't give medical advice only give tips about what has worked for us. That poster has all of us worried and we feel at this point she should see a Dr. for her ongoing depression etc. We care about her and obviously we are not helping at this point so she needs to get professional help. I think that was the point the mod was trying to make. As far as TMI, some people would find it offensive so we do have a section for these types of discussions. That is the rules, I didn't make them but we must follow them. I have no problem discussing all the ins and outs of CDiff but we don't want to discourage people coming to the site who might not be able to handle talking about it. Anyway, thank you for bringing your feelings to our attention and I'm sure some of the other mods can explain it better. I have only been a mod a short time so I am learning. Carol

[Bobbie]

new tracy,

Several others posters agreed with me.

I've had C. diff. off and on for almost 20 years and my son also had it. I've worked on this site for over l4 years and have "seen it all." Most of our mods. have/had C. diff. and give their time to help others voluntarily. Some are still very ill themselves.

The remark was not directed to a particular individual but to those who post many times a day (read the "rools" - first forum - PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU POST - one post a day about your own problems - can ask many questions in that post). We waive this for newcomers for awhile. This keeps the moderators from spending unllimited time with one poster while others who've had the infection for a very long time are extremely ill and desperate get the time left.

We are here for support but don't have the resources to "hold anyone's hand" four or five times a day. When someone posts constantly about him/herself and never supports others, it is frustrating and irritating. Perhaps I've worked on this site too long and have zero tolerance for posters who've had C. diff. a short period of time and want answers "right down." One poster recently made a comment at midnight and wanted "help right now." What can we do at midnight? We don't have medical answers - just our opinions of what worked and didn't work for us.

We ask you confine your intimate details to TMI in an attempt to make the site more professional as more and more physicians and other medical personnel view it. The infection is about much more than bathroom visits. (TMI was created for that.) The infection affects you physically, mentally, and financially.

You are entitled to your opinion, and no, you won't be banned from the site. There are several sites on Facebook without rules, however. Do a search on FB.

[Kathy George]

Tracy, The majority of you comments were well-spoken and well received. However, one needs to realized that these moderators volunteer their time and donate endless hours to this site. (Day after day, year after year, and hours on end.) No $$$$$ paycheck is involved, just love, loyalty and endless devotion. They don’t get many thanks for all that they do and on occasion the phrasing of words do get misconstrued. On this occasion, I think this moderator got the the wrong end of the stick, There is no judge nor jury here; all she did was voice her honest opinion.
Kathy

[gm37]

New Tracy,
I appreciate your reviews of the site and am happy that you feel comfortable expressing them.
I have been active on this site for a short five years. I have received much support and information.
All moderators...especially Bobbie...spend countless hours reading and communicating with sick individuals. Many posters are seriously I'll following life-saving surgery. Some we never hear from again leaving us wondering as to their fate. We take our work seriously and try to write sincere responses.
If you are writing, you should then be reading the responses and digging for information under CDI. Rules should be read and followed to save the unpaid moderators hours of repetition in answers. Many posters offer help to one another. The rules are very clear about the use of the TMI section. Place your graphic descriptions there.
Fear and worry are normal with this illness. Posts about suicide are taken seriously. If you are posting about ending your life, we are worried. If one is truly frightened about impending death from c-diff complications, they should be communicating with a doctor or hospital. We are not medical professionals. Reread your posts before submitting them. If you are mentioning toxic mega colon, you need to be getting yourself to a doctor.
I wish all good health.
Anne

[Fire2]

New Tracy:

The most difficult issue to deal with when battling C-Diff is self-pity. We ( all of the moderators have been through it ). You have to want to get well and it's long tedious process with a number of bumps and set-backs waiting along the way. The site can be a great and valuable resource for information, research and support. With that being said there are certain rules that govern the site such as items that need to be posted in TMI. They have been put in place for a reason and need to be followed. Many Doctors and their staff use this site for a resource of information, hence the request about certain items being posted in the appropriate sections to preserve the dignity of the site so the professionals don't have to wade through the trash. As the other moderators have said " no one here gets a pay check from this site." We all volunteer in an attempt to educate and help others by sharing our experiences. Admittedly sometimes we can get frustrated and be blunt. We all try to avoid this and at times have to disappear from posting to clear our heads. I am in total agreement with Bobbie, Anne, Kathy George, and Carol, on their responses. We are all individuals that react and respond differently, each with our own strengths and weaknesses. That gives a good balance to the group. The decision to use the site and access the knowledge is each person's choice. The exit key is always available at all times.

Fire