Some days, I want to just die

[getwellsoon]

Dificid finally rid me of Cdiff also. I didn't feel well on it but it was nowhere as terrible as Flagyl. Hopefully you will get a neg. and not have to take it but if you do be reassured a lot have taken it with no side effects at all. Let us know how the test comes out and how you do. Try to relax, worrying won't change the results and you must not lose hope. There are always options for you to rid yourself of this infection and there is a lot of new meds and treatments coming in the near future. Hang in there, we are here for you.

[Justanotherday1]

Sitting here on Thanksgiving skinny lost a few pounds. I don't feel myself and I'm looking at everyone eating while my stomach is telling me it's time for another D episode. Dry mouth dry eyes, stomach pains and head aches. Even plain water gives me D. Ready to try anything to make this stop.

[getwellsoon]

Sounds like its time for another CDiff test. Hope you are feeling better today. Stomach problems are the worst and they affect the psyche as well. Try not to get depressed and thing bad thoughts. You will get well, it just takes time. If you are still having D and other symptoms you should get tested. If its neg. you could have PI IBS, which makes you think you still have CDiff when you don't. Call your Dr. and make an appt. and let us know how you do. Hang in there.

[Edeltraut]

The title of your post is talking to me . This is exactly how i m feeling i just wamt to die to kill this bacteria....

[seekingcure]

Many of us suffered with depression and anxiety during c-diff. It's a scary and lonely illness. Believe me, those of us who have had it understand exactly what you are going through. When the bacteria in your gut is compromised, it can affect your mental health. Google "brain-gut connection" for information regarding the connection. Many of us had to take a little something to help us get through the worst of it. Ask your doctor.

Hang in there. You will get well!

[Bobbie]

You are fortunate to have access to support groups. When my son had C. diff. in l979 and again six years later, few (including docs) had heard of C. diff. Same situation when I had it from l993-l997 and again in l999. I was the first moderator on this site. The last time I had C. diff. in Dec. 2011, there were a number of support sites and more knowledge of C. diff. and treatments for it. (All of my episodes of C. diff. were associated with antibiotics for pneumonia and/or serious UTIs.

We all feel hopeless sometimes. Hang in there. Although we try to remain positive, we are trying to get a "bitchin'" blog where we can vent and rave about what C. diff. has done to our lives. It should be a good catharsis.

In the meantime, feel free to PM or email each other. Misery loves company.

[justme]

All of us who been unlucky enough to experience this terrible disease have probably felt the unpredictability and lifestyle disruption that accompanies it. Some who get it are fortunate enough to experience a few weeks of inconvenience and disruption of their usual diet, but are able to get back to normal fairly quickly. Others, especially those of us who have either relapsed, had a recurrence, or just an abnormally long recovery (like me - 21 months and counting) know the depression, anxiety, and frustration that comes with a chronic illness. I suffered a cardiac arrest (with a broken rib) in 2007 and the recovery from that assault on my body and brain wasn't as long and difficult as recovery from C.Diff. I have always been pretty laid back and rarely ever cry, but I cried every day during the first 6-8 weeks of my recovery from this monster bacteria. I lost nearly 40 lbs. and felt tremendous anxiety, depression, and fear - not knowing if I would ever be able to eat normally again. Exactly one year into my recovery, I had a TIA and spent 3 days in the hospital. An MRI revealed a small stroke but lots of damage in my brain from the cardiac arrest. It was at that point that I got really angry and became determined to overcome this assault on my mind and body. I found a good psychologist who is trained to treat people with chronic illnesses and she really helped me. My PC doctor prescribed Xanax (a very low dosage, but it has helped with the anxiety). It is comforting to find others who have been through this and sharing our stories helps us cope. It has certainly helped me. We have all felt the pain, fear, frustration, depression, and anxiety that accompanies this disease and are here to help you get through this too.
Aloha,
Anne