Just one of those anxious days...

[arose]

Oh gosh.

Today's just been one of those annoying, anxious days where I freak out and think the beast is back.

The past couple days I've been sure I've smelled the "c diff smell" and even though I know I shouldn't judge solely from that, it freaks me out!!! With no other symptoms, I know I should be calming myself down, but honestly, I just feel a little out of my mind!!!!

You all know what those anxious days can do to your spirit. I've been feeling so much better but once in a while, I just get one of those days where I think "maybe it's not really gone", or "maybe I still have a low grade strand of it" and then the anxiety cycle starts all over again. Zoloft helps to a point, but I know my mind is stronger than those meds. I've got to learn some positivity!

Hope you're all doing great. I don't know how I'd have coped without you guys. You're all totally inspiring and strong, and I am so lucky to have met you. I'm happy that now I can start 'paying it forward' a little bit now that I'm doing much better.

Sending love and light!

[gm37]

I know just how you feel! I think we all have those days once in a while. Any little thing can set it off... A smell, a tummy ache, a little cramp, whatever.
I guess it just comes with the territory. I start to remember how confining it was! I don't want to go back there! No one does.
Don't let it get you down. It is a normal feeling. This is one really bad disease. It messes with your head and it is normal to worry about it coming back. you have lots of friends here who have those days, too. We can all relate to your feelings.
The good thing is that it is usually just a case of nerves.
Let me know how you feel tomorrow.
Anne

[Bobbie]

That's why we call it the "w, w, w disease - wait, watch, and worry.

I'm waiting to see if transfer "took." Our car was totaled in hail storm in OKC. Just my kind of luck. I was impressed with hospital there - and I hate hospitals. The storm affected the toilets in the motel so it kept overflowing. A night to remember!

Eveyone has "those" days. Afraid it's part of having C. diff. I was fortunate for one reason - I have little sense of smell because of sinus problems/surgeries. I still wear perfume - and every now and then I can smell it. Never could smell the "c. diff. smell." Fortunately.

I was never able to tolerate anti-depressants but used anti-anxiety meds. at bedtime to sleep. Am an insomniac anyway, and that is when the "boogeymen" come out.

Tomorrow will be better.

[arose]

Oh, gosh, Anne, you are absolutely right. Every time I have even a twinge of pain or anything, I question what my body is doing!!! This is some disease, I'll tell ya. You always make me feel better!

And Bobbie, oh my! I can't believe you guys hit such a storm! That's awful - transfers are already tough and you had one along with a storm causing car trouble and toilet trouble! I think I can speak for a lot of us when I say toilet trouble is the worst!! I am so hopeful for you that your transfer took.

I have been listening to music, reading magazines, and catching up on some work - thank goodness for my new job! My anxiety is always easier to cope with when I have tons of things to accomplish!

[beth22]

Yes, keeping busy really does help a lot. I just have to make sure I keep busy with a bathroom nearby!

[Kathy George]

A Wise Person Reacts and a Foolish Person Ignores!!!! Reactions are good, C-Diff population is extremely knowledgeable and it’s good to stay in tune to specific indicators. I’m 3 years post C-Diff and the “RED” flag syndrome goes up every time a minuscule symptom reappears. Our reactions are completely normal; can’t imagine not reacting after the Hell that we have been through. Stay in touch!!!!!
Kathy

[AThurston]

Arose, I am right there with you my friend, today is 5 days post vanc taper, and I feel like crap, stomach is gurgling and cramping adds to my mental misery. I had to put my 5 yo boxer down yesterday due to cancer and I am more depressed than usual, she was with me every step of the way with this illness, when I would get home from the hospital she never left my side. I sound silly I know, but I loved her and I feel devastated losing my best friend. She never talked back, she never expressed her opinion, she was there listening and loving me. OK enough....
I wish I waas as witty as Kathy, I swear she should be a dr, she is so knowledgable and always calms and soothes with her words of wisdom. Thank you Kathy, you said it very well in your pm and for all you do to help others and me....
Arose, You hang in there, look at each day as 1 day farther in your recovery... We are all here for you and care for you. Remember you are not alone and I commend you for your strength thru out your battle with c diff. Take care... Sending you thoughts and wishes that your day improves...

[arose]

I lost a puppy a few years ago as well so I know how awful that feels, Alletta. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you smiles in this tough time!!!

Kathy, you're a gem. :)

[arose]

By the way! This is so silly but I honestly have no idea why I haven't told any of you my name! I'm just so used to everyone calling me arose on here - my name's Andie!

[Bobbie]

We've had to "put three dogs down" - hard. They were older - one had cancer, one had heart problems, one had pancreatitis. You will miss her for a long time. Google the poem "The Rainbow Bridge." Old Norse legend about meeting our pets in another land. I have a copy of it and their 3 ID tags in a refrig. magnet on my refrigerator. So sorry.

[Bobbie]

arose/andie,
Glad you have a new job. It will help alleviate your anxiety. I worked most of the time I had C. diff. in the l990's. It was much harder this time without my job but I keep as busy as possible. I find exercise helps a lot.

This is one nasty disease and anxiety and depression go along with it - as with any chronic disease. I think C. diff. might be worse, however, because there is still so little known about it. Several posters with cancer said the C. diff. was worse than the cancer. Also, it's an "icky" disease and not one you share with friends/relatatives/neighbors or you get he "ugghh" response.

Hang in there.