I'm trying to be a fighter

[bback12]

Many of you know I have been dealing with c-diff on and off for three years. I was just diagnosed with Crohns a month ago and was hospitalized over Christmas for a high fever and that sick feeling. They did all kinds of tests and nothing showed up! Today and the past couple days have been a nightmare. I've had several BM with M attached and I started chilling then sweating again and running a fever like I did when I ended up in the Hospital. I'm having chest pain that feels like pulled muscles and also I'm having pain in my lower right side too that's uncomfortable. I'm so freakin frustrated!! All I want to do is curl in a ball now and just start crying. I feel like being 21 I'm missing so much in life and I'm at a standstill with life. So many of my friends are graduating, getting engaged, married or just doing so much fun stuff that I just can't do because I'm not well enough. My 21st birthday back in November wasn't fun because I couldn't do anything! I see my gastro doctor today at 4 and I'm curious at what he will say. Is surgery the next step? Could I be put in the hospital this evening for evaluation? I just feel like going crazy and punching everything around me at the same time just wanting to break down and cry. I'm miserable, and I just want a miracle to happen. I've been working, going to school and dealing with this long enough and I'm just so afraid I can't handle it anymore. I've only got two semesters left of school and I have to keep working to pay bills. I had to miss work around Christmas from being in the hospital and it really really hurt me financially. I'm just so upset and mad at the same time!!!

[AThurston]

Oh my honey, I'm so sorry, can you ask to have labs CBC to check your white count & electrolytes for dehydration? These are suggestions based from being a nurse and not meant to diagnose.. I'm praying you get some relief today... Alletta

[beth22]

You should have your mineral and vitamin levels checked as well because both c diff and Crohn's can give you malabsorption and not having those nutrients can also give symptoms. Have you ever considered having a stool transfer done? Dr. Borody in Australia treats patients for other conditions besides c diff, including UC and Crohn's. You might want to contact them just to get some information. They are usually pretty helpful about answering questions.

[natalyjac]

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. You are under so much stress with just work and school, let alone this stupid cdiff and Crohn's.

One thing to consider is going back to the basics of your own health. I know you mind is probably racing a mile a minute with everything going on, but I wonder if even psychologically it would help if you could just get some sleep and try to eat. I know your problems are much bigger than that, but I know even for myself in general, everything seems just a little better if I am well rested and fed. Could you possibly cut back on your work hours? Do you have a good support network?

Good luck.
Kris

[JoElizabeth]

Oh, Brittney. You don't have to try to be a fighter. You ARE a fighter and have been for 3 years. And you'll continue to be a fighter because that's the type of person you are.

Yes, you are missing out on some fun things right now. You have every right to be angry and depressed!

I am praying for you... praying also that your doctors are wise and competent and get you on the right therapy so you start to feel better soon. I wonder if a transplant or transfusion would help you now...something to ask your doctors about. Just something to help alleviate your symptoms right now.

You will overcome this. I know that. I think you know it too. It might be one of the hardest things in your life but you WILL beat this. I doubt anyone here wouldn't say the same after getting to know you on this site.

Please keep us posted.


jo

[bback12]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement! I went to the doctor and he scheduled a CT scan for tomorrow to see if I could possibly have an abcess where my uclers are? Also, he mentioned that in a couple weeks he is going to start me on another drug. It's a really weird drug, but he said they use to use it for chemotherapy and they've had success with it for people with Crohns Disease. The good news is my weight is still the same from a month ago so that means I'm not losing weight! I took my temperature about a half hour ago and it was 99.3 so it has come down today. Earlier is was 101.4. I'm soooooo ready to get all of this under control and get my life back. As for a good support system, I have a few people that really listen and they are very concerned and they pray for me, others not so much.

[amyc]

I'm sorry you're so sick :-(. Do you still live with your parents or do you have your own place? Could you move back in with them for a few months while you recover so you wouldn't have to worry about bills so much?

[gm37]

Brittney,
It just breaks my heart that you are so miserable and so stressed out. It is great that your doc is doing the CT scan tomorrow so you don't have to keep waiting.
Everyone has some great ideas for you. Make a list and take it to your doctor appt. Being dehydrated can really make you feel awful. So can the stress and lack of sleep. Take care of yourself and get some rest. If good wishes could make you well, you would be cured. Everyone on here has such affection for you. You are just so young to have to deal with this. You are so close to my son's age and I always think how difficult it would be for hime to deal with this.
God bless you and guide you to a cure.
Anne

[Bobbie]

Brittany,
you are fantastic to keep going to school and try to work during all of this. you ARE a fighter.

I agee - could you move back home for awhile? What about scholarships for those with special needs?

[getwellsoon]

Hang in there. I so admire your strength and fortitude for so young a person. Go ahead and vent, cry do whatever to get you past this bad patch. Better things will come for this new year. Many on here are praying for you to feel better. God Bless and hope this weekend you get some relief. Carol

[bback12]

Thanks so much everyone! Good news is I do still live with my parents, and I'm glad I did stay here while I'm in college. I know I wouldn't be able to afford being out on my own dealing with all of this, not to mention I have anxiety about emergencies and stuff like that. I had my CT scan this morning and they said I'd get the results this week, which I'm thinking Monday. I'm feeling better than what I did yesterday, but still having some potty issues ( M) when I go. I'm concerned because I was supposet to start my period Wednesday, and I haven't yet. I know there's no way I'm pregnant, but I am wondering if my medications could be causing this? And stress too I'm sure. I'm currently on Pentasa, Entacort, Prednisone. My doctor said he may be putting me on another Crohns Disease drug in a couple weeks. It's some kind of Chemotherapy drug that was used, but they've had good reports with it being used for Crohns and many people seem to handle it well. I do have anxiety when I go to the restroom and I see the(M) and the first thing that comes to mind it oh gosh please don't let it be c-diff again! I've been told Crohns can cause M also. It sure is a major pain dealing with Crohns and always questioning if c-diff will return it's ugly face.

[bback12]

Had to end up calling the on call doctor. I've went to the restroom several times today and it's not been pretty. The doctor is calling in vanco and flagyl for me to take along with my crohns medications.

[beth22]

Did you have to drink anything before your CT scan? That stuff causes upset stomach and D.

[bback12]

yeah I did. Some kind of water like substance they mixed a lemonade packet with for taste. They also injected something into my veins too.

[Bobbie]

hang in there. lots of good wishes from everyone here. hope your parents are there to be your advocates,