Thank God, I am not crazy

[barbetcha]

Hello all, I am dying inside and haunted by my moms death of c.diff. i fell because of her age, they just dropped the ball. to begin with she had UTI 2 months prior to the end. She was in the hospital 4 times in 6 weeks. First they said it was RESPIRATORY DISTRESS & ACUTE FEVER(104.3. The second time which was 3 days later it was9FEVOR(103) SEPSIS AND UTI. The third time, i took her to another hospital for a second opinion, and that ER doc said she had a severe infection in her stomach and when the er floor doc took over he said she had (POLYMALGIA RHEYMATICA) where as she did receive any Flagyl or other antibotics, she left there with all new vitamins and iron, she didn't get better and she didn't get worse but 17 days later i had to take her back as the Home Health nurse said if she fevoers at 101 take her back to hospital. at this point I had to call 911 as she could not walk at all. I went back to the original hospital and on her first day, they said she had c diff-which i was never told until 6 days later when they were trying to get her out of there. I just happen to run into my internist doctor and he talked to me in the hall way, said she had c'diff as though i knew what that meant and that it came from the hospital. They then gave me literature on what c diff was and i continued search on the internet of what it was all about. No one ever indicated what would happen after they sent her home and they sent her home with no meds. I went the following 2 days after her release and got her hospital records hoping it would give me a better picture of what to expect. It didn;'t. I am sharing all this, which has a lot more but I was told by friends i should get legal council, as it was infectious and never was i told to be careful till i got home and the home healt nurse told me what it was all about. The hospital never did any thing regarding garbing up and wearing gloves, etc. i called one attorney and he said to send the records and they would review them and the costs would be 30-50 thousand dollars. I sure can't pay that. I found another attorney that worked on contingency, but then the case manager ask, did the death certificate say c.diff. i said no because it read failure to thrive, she said they can't take the case on as it didn't read c.diff I feel all the doctors dropped the ball cause of her age of 86, but she was more like 76 because she was so energetic and fisty. Do any of you have this problem? I am haunted because i feel I let her down. She made me promise not to put her in a nursing home and the hospitals all was trying to push her out and into a nuring home. Anyway, does anyone have any ideas how to get justice for my mom, And can anyone tell me why she went into a coma and then passed away. I thought she was going to get better since no one told me she could get worse and passaway. I am so thankful that their is someone i can share and talk to with this. I am in such depression, I feel like joining her. Thank you and God bless for at least letting me vent and share my sorrow. Sincerely, Barbara

[gm37]

My dear Barbara,
I am so sorry about your mom's suffering and death. There is no sadness like losing your mother. I wish I could offer more comfort.
Your mom's illness is not your fault. You did everything that you could do as a loving daughter. Some things we cannot control. I have three friends who recently lost parents who were ill with one disease and then contracted c-diff in the hospital. They each passed on from the original illness but the c-diff just added to the suffering. I know from trying to comfort them that children want to be able to magically take away all their loved one's suffering. I wish life were different. If I were in control of the world, I would change so many things.
The bad days will pass. You will get stronger. Your mom was lucky to have you to love and care for her. Take comfort in the love she had for you and that she raised you to be such a caring person. Let the guilt go. You were wonderfu to your mom and she knew that and loved you. Take care of yourself.
Anne

[lucas' grandma]

Roy:
That was a wonderful response. From someone else who lost a dear mother this way, I agree with you on all counts. It is devastating, but the devastation turns to sadness, then eventually you concentrate on the good memories and have "bouts" of missing her. It's scary to have the same disease that your mother died from; but we are healthier and wiser; we shall be more proactive, and not follow the "experts" blindly. We shall do our own research, and trust our bodies and our instincts. We will participate with our medical professionals in our health care decisions, and we WILL get well.

good health to all of you..

Janet

[barbetcha]

God Bless and Thank you Ron, Ann, and Janet. At least I feel comfort knowing their are others out there that are going through the same devasting disease. From reading all your kindness in reply, I agree with you all. I just have to give it time and watch out and learn from it as it is many that are getting this disease. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart to answer and share with me. It means a lot to know that others are also going through what I have gone through. God, i miss her sooooooo much, but with God's help I will heal and God bless you all for being their for me and others. I am so thankful to have come across this site and I hope and pray I can help others in time like you all have helped me with a variety of suggestions and care. Bless you all and thanks again for your caring, Sincerely, Barbara