Sick of being accused of not eating

[jenkelly15]

I'm so annoyed when is my family going to get that I CANNOT gain weight, but I am eating and am taking care of myself. I just got the most annoying email from my aunt today. (I have prayed long and hard on my next sentence, but I am just going to say it, I am very concerned about your health, I know you had such an awful time with the c-diff, and I'm sure it is very scary once you have gone through such a tough time but Jen I only say this beacuse I love you. Please don't get upset with me and know that I would be there if you need anything. But Jen, you need to eat to keep your body strong so you can take care of yourself, as Mom's often do, we are so busy taking care of everyone else we forget about ourselves.) I'm at my wits end. I know she is concerned, but how does she think this makes me feel. I eat better then I ever have in my 29 years of life. There is nothing else I can do. If my doctor is not concerned with my health why is she. It just makes me feel like there is something wrong with me when I know there is not. I'm so sorry to complain about something trivial, but it's like the c-diff has been gone for 10 months, so when can I just not have people telling me I need to eat like I'm anorexic or something!!!!

[Bobbie]

jankelly,
You are fortunate to have people so concerned about you. Many don't.

There is nothing wrong with you except perhaps post C. diff. stress. Many of us still suffer from it.

It took me a long time to gain my weight back. (I was 5 ft. 5 in. & weighed 98 lbs. - lost 15 lbs.) I did it by supplementing with 2 cans of Ensure Plus a day (cold vanilla - only one I could stand) plus regular meals. I also stopped being afraid of eating the "wrong thing" & used the "everything in moderation; nothing to excess" rule. I "cook healthy" at home but eat out a lot - makes it more difficult to control salt, calories, etc.

It took over a year to look "normal" again. Now, 15 years (& 2 bouts of C. diff. later), one doctor (orthopod) wrote a report to my primary care doc. stating, I was "well nourished." Could she have meant fat?? Don't think so, (have always been thin -- painfully so when I was younger), but for the first time in my life I am "above average" on the weight scale. I weigh more than I look because of exercise & lost an inch and half due to osteoporosis.

Tell your relatives politely you are grateful for their concern, but you are taking care of the situation. In other words, "MYOB, but thanks."

[abby]

I didn't have a terribly dramatic weight loss with c diff, but I did notice for many months afterwards that no matter how much or what I ate, I could not gain an ounce. Now, however, over a year after the last Vanco, I am beginning to gain weight---more than I'd like.

Jen, you're at ten months-----maybe in a couple more months the weight-gaining mechanism will kick in again.

And Bobbi, I've seen a lot of letters from specialists. I believe that "well-nourished" is one of their standard descriptive terms when describing the patient and have never assumed they meant "fat."

abby

[jenkelly15]

Thank you both for your responses. Bobbie I have been actually doing what you said for the last couples months eating whatever I want and not worrying about the c-diff. I feel like that should make me gain the weight eventually. See I am 5"3 and 90 pounds, and I was previously 102 before c-diff, so hopefully I'll get there again. I know they are concerned and I am lucky to have that, but it is frustrating at the same time being told you are unhealthy when you do everything in your power to be your healthiest oh well. I did tell her in a nice way that I am fine and if my doctor isn't concerned no one else should be. Thanks again for your support.

[trob25]

Hi Jen, that is annoying because you don't have an eating disorder, it's just the toll of C-Diff!

You'll just have to nicely explain to them what's going on. I'm never one to beat around the bush, so I'd just say straight up, "look, the C-Diff is over, but it creates lasting effects that can go on up to a year or longer. One of those effects is that no matter how much I eat, I cannot gain wait. I hope you understand that I do not have an eating disorder and that this is still residual effects from the disease I had." Or something to that effect.

Second, I can't remember if I told you about this one or not, but you might want to consider a probiotic called primadophilus reuteri. Many here have said it helped them eat better and gain wait back, and after taking it for a month myself, I can say the same.

When I had C-Diff I lost 25 pounds in 3 weeks, which wasn't that dramatic as I had gotten about 20 pounds overweight and was thus just 5 pounds underweight. Then after I recovered from C-Diff, I shed another 5 pounds due to poor appetite, limited food types and PI-IBS.

After taking the reuteri, drinking Kefir everyday and resorting back to my Chinese food Friday nights, I regained about 4-5 pounds and that is where I stably sit now. I really think the reuteri helped here as nothing was making me gain weight till I took it.

[fire7163]

Jen:

Sometimes family can be so tacky...caring.. but poorly present their concerns. Just ignore it. The important point is that you feel better each day. Did you ever think that the people that you meet on the street could be envious and think that you could be an marathon runner ? Have faith your weight will come back, hopefully slowy. As long as you feel good, have your energy coming back, the rest will all fall in to place. As with all of the other C-Diff issues, it's going to take some time. Just take one step at a time and enjoy. There's unfortunately a lot of other folks with C-Diff who would give anything to have your "problem".

Fire.

[jenkelly15]

Definitely agree with you that anyone who has had c-diff wouldn't even consider being under weight a problem after what we've all gone through with this disease!!!

[cindym]

JenKelly- You have to become thick skinned with cdiff. You would not believe the remarks and snide remarks I have had from friends and family during my long battle with this rotten disease! I just recently had to have a kidney stone removed that was imbedded in my bladder and had to take another antibiotic...........CDIFF IS BACK AND KICKING!!!! I have had some make crappy remarks since this happened and I have just decided until they have dealt with what I have they have no clue and they can all KISS MY A--! I have quit taking the remarks and started putting them in their place with truthful answers and care less how they take them. People are cruel at times even though they think they are helpful.............CDIFF FOR A MONTH would changed their outlook!

[fire7163]

C-Diff causes some very weird things to happen.....where else could you find a group off woman complaining about being too skinny and not being able to gain weight ??? Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers could be in trouble.....

Fire

[cindym]

Fire- I lost 60 pounds in the beginning RAPIDLY but I would not recommend the diet to anybody! ha! I finally stopped losing and have put about 20 back on but it has been a slow process! This last relapse has me once again hating food........oh well just another saga!

[jenkelly15]

Cindy I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. You will be in my prayers. I can't even imagine what you have been through over these years. I hope something gives and you get rid of this darn disease once and for all. I remember when I first got my c-diff and started losing weight my mom would joke that she wishes she had it to lose weight. I
told her that was not even funny she had no idea how brutal it truly was. Anyway, I had one of my usual silly questions. My hands have been so dry from washing them a million times, so they had cuts on them. I put neosporin on them, but then immediately washed it off when I saw that it had AB's in it. You don't think just putting it on my hands for a minute that I will get c-diff back or can you even get c-diff from something as minor as neosporin? Thanks again sorry to post these silly questions, but I'd rather be safe then sorry.

[Bobbie]

jenkelly15,
Doubt if you could get C. diff. from an antibiotic salve like neosporin. Don't use a salve containing Clindamycin. (Believe it's called Cleosin.)Check with your pharmacist re. this, however.

You can "overdo" anything - even handwashing. I do it only when necessary -- after shopping, bathroom visits, before preparing foods, & if you've been around someone who is ill. I think you have a baby, however, so wash your hands before and after diaper changing.

Some "experts" think anti-bacterial soaps aren't good because they kill off some of the surface "good" bacteria. I use it except in the shower.

Try a good hand cream -- the thicker the better -- especially when you go to bed. Cetaphil is a good one. Inexpensive - if you get it on sale - & can be purchased at local drug stores such as Walgreens or CVS. Many dermotologists recommend it.

If you have a dermotologist, I'd contact him/her for more suggestions. Or try your primary care doc.

[klt03301]

Hi Jen. I think you'll be just fine about the neosporin. I get cuts on my hands easily too b/c I wash them so much. Put some lotion on them after washing. As many times as I wash, it's hard to remember to apply the lotion. I have to keep reminding myself. Lotion them up really well before going to bed at night. Don't use hot water...this will make it worse. Remember it's the friction of handwashing with soap and water that's most important.

About the weight...I totally understand what that's like. You've gotten some good advice here and it seems you already know what to tell people. Remind them of this...it's very hurtful to hear about it b/c you already know it and you're eating well. My daughter is 5'8" and weighed 105 when she got pregnant. She gained 75 pounds and lost it all w/o trying. She ate more than I ever did even w/o being pregnant. She is still thin and people still accuse her of having an eating disorder; even her female cousins (who are overweight). I had to pull her out of public school in Junior High b/c as she would walk down the halls, girls would say, "here comes Miss Anorexic". She came home crying every day. We had meetings w/the principal, students and parents and it did no good. I placed her in a small private school; bullying was not tolerated.

People need to realize that it's just as hurtful to someone who is underweight (and doesn't want to be) to get questioned/teased about it as it is to someone who is overweight!

[cindym]

jenkelly- The solution is cetaphil cream.......it works like a charm......not the lotion but the cream.

[jenkelly15]

Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions. I will definitely try the cetaphil cream for my hands and try to be more consistent about putting it on. Yeah it's funny how people have no problem bugging someone about being too skinny, but if you ever said anything to someone over weight it would be insulting. Plus, being over weight is a health concern as well, but you could never tell someone you were concerned about their health without being insultive. Weird how it works.