Life on Hold- hard for everybody, but for a 20 year old????

[coolgreeneyes88]

Okay, I need to vent and here's the place to do it.

So, my family has not taken good care of me (my mother disowned me about a year ago) and my grand parents are not helping me by sending me website links related to C. Diff deaths (just stressing me out).

I am paying thousands of dollars to go to school, having to miss out on morning classes and some classes due to diarrhea.

I feel horrible at work, and I need to work less but having to pay rent is horrible.

I FINALLY got diagnosed with C. Diff a few months ago after complaining to my doctor for 3+ YEARS! Finally at my free college clinic, a Nurse Practicioner ordered the test for me, and it came back positive.....


Okay, I took my meds perscribed by the NP -Metronidozole 500 mg 3x daily for 10 days, RELAPSED, tried to stick it out, had to go to my doctor from before because the NP said she wasn't comfortable perscribing me more- so I finally got an appt. (missing school) and had to have a friend take me to that doctor- did MANY more samples of various sorts (blood/stool), and got back on Metronidizole 500mg 3x daily for 14 days.

I am nearing the end of that treatment, Im afraid of relapsing, and obviously death..

I have become afraid to eat, have an apointment for a gastroenterologist in a month, and my life is on hold due to this illness.


Not fair.

Thank God my boyfriend of 4 years is a SAINT.

[jenkelly15]

Stephanie was in your same shoes. I was on flagyl for the same amount of time and relapsed. Then did it again and relapsed. Had to get on vanco, and that has kept the c-diff away for 8 months praying forever. The second round of flagyl may work for you though so just take it day by day and see what happens when you come off of it. I got mine after having my son, and I too like you was TERRIFIED I was going to die. I even went to my GI doctor and broke down. She got mad at me and said it was ridiculous and maybe I should be on anxiety medicine because why would I go to dying. Well because I had a sickness that wasn't going away. It was easy for her to think I was crazy, so I understand your fears completety. However, she was right about one thing YOU are not going to die. You are 20 years old, and I am 28 c-diff will not kill us and you will eventually get rid of this. Please don't waste your time worrying about dying like I did. My poor husband would come home to me crying that I was going to leave my brand new baby, so please don't waste your time. Also, I too read all those horror stories about people dying from c-diff, which made my anxiety about dying SO much worse. Please just don't read those they do you no good and they are severe cases and I'm sure most of them have other health issues as well or are much older then you. Hope this helps and I hope you can stop worrying about death and just take it one day at a time. I know it's easier said then done I still worry about c-diff coming back, but I am working on trying to let go. Keep me posted.

[coolgreeneyes88]

Thanks for posting a reply.

I'm very greatful I am not alone.

I keep prodding my boyfriend to ask me to marry him before I die- which is silly, I know.

I am hoping that my story can end up like yours, married, having a baby and being C-Diff "free"

I missed all my classes today due to a C-diff weekend from hell and other womanly problems, if you know what I mean.

I just wish I wasn't in so much pain all the time and that I could actually attend my classes. I might have to take a semester or two off.

[jenkelly15]

I know I'm so sorry you are going through this it is a terrible illness. I remember all those bathroom trips it's like never ending. I'm sure your professors will understand hopefully it will be gone soon, so maybe you won't have to drop your classes and can just catch up. See what happens. You story will end the same as mine don't worry it just takes time. My son actually had his first b-day yesterday, and I remember I was scared I woudn't make it to his second month. This illness is just really hard on you emotionally especially when the medication is not working, but it will eventually just keep faith in that. I don't know about how you will be emotionally like I said I still to this day think about c-diff every single day, which is awful. I hope you won't be like me. Like I said my best advice is just take it day by day and let the medicine take it's course and see what happens when you get off of it because there really is no way of telling if it is working or not until you come off of it. Hopefully, the flagyl worked this time.

[HEATHER28]

First of all "Welcome" to the group. I am sorry that you are missing out on your classes. Is there any way that you can talk to your professors about what is going on and maybe they can work with you to give you your homework?

Sorry to hear that it took so long to get diagnosed. Now that you know what is going on at least you can now deal with it. You are NOT going to die from this, you WILL get better. Take the word die out of your vocabulary. I am sorry that your grandparents are sending you scary storys about people dieing of CDiff. You have to realize that most of the people who die from it have other illnesses on top of it.

You have to eat, I know that its scary but, you should try the BRAT (bananna's,rice,apple sauce and toast) diet. It is very easy on the gut, it helps bind things and it worked really well for me and a lot of other people on here.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[fire7163]

Geeneyes:

I'm a career/ firefighter/medic and have battled C-diff and relaspses for a couple of years. I did not miss a shift or a job. I do admit that I had to force myself to put my boots on more than once. You need to experiment and figure what works for yor body. I used pepto tablets, Gas-X and Nulev to control the symptoms. It's your body and you know what works. It's your choice on either dealing with C-diff or being a victim. The more that you force yourself to do normal things the easier and sooner that they will come back. You have to realize that you are not going to heal overnight...not gonna happen. You'll make little gains and sometimes won't notice them, but they all add up. Exercise is a major player in getting well. Start out just going for a walk. If C-diff was meant to be a fatal disease, most of us wouldn't be posting on the site. There are still more treatment options for you to explore, pulsing, tapers, and chasers are just a few of them. Take care of your BF, remember that this is difficult for him to deal with also.

Fire

[Nancy1]

coolgreeneyes,
As others have said, welcome to the group that no one wants to join. Be sure to read All Users Read This First, Dr. Borody's article, Dr. McDonald's article (in the FAQ section under Articles by Experts), and all areas in FAQ that interest you.

You are not going to die from cdiff. As Cindym says, if cdiff had meant to kill us, it would have done so already. See the FAQ section for the Ten Commandments of Surviving Cdiff (especially #7, about never giving up hope), and about Coping. I printed both of these out and read them every day. Hang in there. You are not alone. And you will beat it.

[cindym]

It is my belief if cdiff wants to kill you it will get you the first go around. I almost died on 5 occasions before finally getting better. I have been dealing with the beast for 7 years and I can confirm LIFE GOES ON. Your doctor can give you meds for nausea, and once you might consider asking to be switched to vanco as flagyl has been known to make some people worse (That would be me, of course). After you are on meds for awhile there are ways to help you through the bad days and you will find what works for you. PEPTO CAPLETS I should own stock in! Sorry, you are having such a rough time but things will get better.........hang in there!

[TheVike]

I am an educator of 20 years! Now a Prinicpal at a HS! I contracted this the year before last... You must let your professors KNOW what is going on and educate them in detail about this disorder if YOU are frightened of not finishing school, failing, dropping out etc... They will be completely iunderstanding I think...but to not may be disasstrous in regard to your education...sure it may take longer incompletes etc...but nonsense get off the dying part for I KNOW it ll make you feel that way I am pretty much in daily need nowadays on anti anxiety meds but of course i am 46, but you WILL BE JUST FINE over time

[bpagan]

And I am the professor with c diff. Vike is correct___talk with your professors and be candid.

[TheVike]

That is a fact CANDIDness is the key...and by the way Doc even though I used to teach history they my peers all call me the Professs as well! :)

[klt03301]

greeneyes...you're gonna be OK! It's going to take some time. Everyone has given you great advice. I, too, feared I was going to die because I was so sick. It took many months for me to feel as if I'd turned a corner. I still have issues but I deal with them. Maybe you can ask your grandparents to stop sending those articles to you...it's only making things worse. You're young and will recover! I'm 47 and I did. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS...it will take time.

Best wishes to you!

Karen

[mayotte]

Hang in there, you will get better even if it seems that you won't. Everyone on this site made it through, but it takes time, medication, support, and positive energy.