Emotionally Destroyed by Horrible Sister-IN-Law!

[cindym]

Need to vent guys-----BAD! My brother lives 1000 miles from me and his wife is a person who is a "ME" person and has caused nothing but hostility the whole time they have been married within the family. As a result I have not been close (constantly) with my brother due to him having to deal with her mouth. My Mother did things in her will that infuriated my sister in law and made her turn on me........I did nothing! Well to make a long story short............I got an email on Sunday that my brother had died on 10/9............no explanation NOTHING. It was sent by my niece who told me not to call her Mother because she had been given explicit instructions that no one in his family was to know. HOW WICKED IS THIS?
Now I sit here not knowing anything. The wicked witch did not even put an obituary notice in the paper or notify any of his kin. My niece opened up a quicky email address and sent the email and has not answered any of my replies! THIS IS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What kind of person is this??????
Then to top it all off my husband came home and announced that our insurance is changing in January and NONE of my doctors are on the plan. I feel totally like jumping off a cliff at this point........If I thought it would help! OH WELL>>>>>>>>>>HAD TO VENT

[Nancy1]

Cindy, I am so sorry to hear of your brother's death. And especially that your SIL is being so so horrid. When my sister died in 2006, my BIL was nasty, but nothing like how your SIL is being. There must be some way you can find out more -- coroner? funeral home? county health department? Maybe other folks here will have some ideas?

And your insurance changing on top of this is just too much! @!#@! And none of your docs being on the new plan, arggh. You have had waaay too much to deal with in your life. I wish I had a magic wand so I could fix it all for you... Please don't jump off any cliffs. We would miss you too much here. Hang in there.

[cindym]

Thanks guys.......I have called every source available to me. Since he just passed on 10/9 the records office has not had time for it to become recorded as yet. I will do that within 3 weeks however. I can NOT imagine being that way to anyone. She will answer for all this one day!

[jenkelly15]

Cindy I CANNOT even imagine a person actually being that evil!!! If I was you I woud call your SIL regardless of what your niece said. I mean your niece should have told you more information then just btw your brother passed away. If my mom was being that much of a witch, then I would go above her and tell my father's siblings everything. You just don't do that to family no matter what happened between your SIL and your mom she should let you guys know what happened to your brother it's just not FAIR!!!!!! So sorry you have to be dealing with this on top of all your health issues you are in my prayers.

[fire7163]

Cindy:

Been in a similar situation...when my Dad married, the ---ch, the 1st chance that she had burned the family history that Dad had complied for my brother and I, and since he was an only child, it's gone. We've got a box of pictures with no names. When she ran through all of his money she was gone until he was dying of cancer, she was back so that she could get his miltary pension. She didn't even attend his funeral...she was too upset...good thing or they may have needed to dig a second hole. She's has pancreiatic cancer that is terminal and I smile everytime I see she's still around. She'll live to 100+ if I have my way and suffer every day...yes I'm bitter !!! I fully plan to attend her funeral and already have my speech written and it will be blunt and pull no punches

You have a right to know as a family member. I would call your SIL as she may not know what your niece has done. What's the worst that can happen...piss somebody off...sound to me like that's already happened. This is one time being polite and tactiful may just be the wrong approach.

I am very sorry about your loss...The insurance issue you can't change, but the family is a diiferent story.

Fire

[cindym]

Fire- Thanks! Like my late Mom use to say "EVERY DOG HAS THEIR DAY" and "WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND"------To keep from boarding a plane and making a complete A-- out of myself I just keep reminding myself of that. She has 5 kids and I doubt seriously any of them will cater to her as she was always a "ME" person when they were all growing up. My brother was the one they went to and depended upon. She will get hers and I do not believe I will EVER be bothered with her again------especially in the here after because I know I am going to heaven and I wouldn't think there would be room for her there! She totally alienated my brother toward the whole family and he lived with extreme guilt for the way he did his Mom & Dad until the day he died........I actually hate that for him. He was a weak man that could not put her in her place. You will love this.........she is 65 years old and just had a face lift, tummy tuck and drives a new corvette.........supposedly she looks 30 now. She was always a beautiful woman and definitely does not handle the aging process very well. POOR THING! HA HA HA........I told my niece that you can change the shell but you can not turn back time! She is what she is!