What cdiff can do to a marriage!

[cindym]

Well my anniversary came and went on the 25th of April without any acknowledgement from my husband. Truly, prior to cdiff this would have NEVER happened because I would not have tolerated it. Just another wonderful year! YUCK

[cindym]

Should have said "Wedding Anniversary"

[HEATHER28]

Oh my god Cindy I would be so mad!!! For your husband to have totally dismissed it...oh if it were me he would be in the dog house!! I understand why you are mad. I remember one time my dad forgot my birthday and I was sooo upset. If there was one person that I could always depend on to say "Happy Birthday" it was my dad, and when he forgot one year and said it to me the day AFTER my birthday I was so upset.

Keep your chin up WE LOVE YOU!!!

[jaspore]

How many years have you been married?

When you figure out how to retrain or refresh ............
how about sharing?
Sometimes I feel invisible as it is...................
and we've only been married 3 years!

Welp, it's a week later that I'm reading this.............
so I hope he had a big surprise for you and just couldn't wait
to share it with you!
Hang in there...................J

[cindym]

40 years...........seems like a 100 at times! HA!

[Jan]

Cindy

Ever since I became ill with C Diff my life has fallen apart. My husband has also forgot important dates and it's to the point I don't even care any more.
Neither of us has ever acted this way towards each other until C Diff. Now with my second bout, things have gotten worse. He runs out of the house day in and day out. I am always left sitting alone, worried if I will ever get better from this dreaded disease. What happened to the vows, In sickeness and in health. Apparently, he forgot.
Good Luck
Jan

[Bobbie]

Jan,
You aren't "The Lone Ranger." Same situation here. There isn't a problem unless it's his. He usualy drops me by the hospital but doesn't stay. He was good about moving my mother here, but health problems have never been his "thing' -- best to ignore.

We should start a club!

[cindym]

Jan- Prior to cdiff I was a very strong independent Real Estate Broker and my husband would NEVER have made ugly remarks to me as he does now nor would he EVER DARED to forget our anniversary. Lets just say----Cdiff has put a whole new perspective on my life IF I EVER GET OVER THE BEAST. What goes around comes around.......he better watch it! HA

[jaspore]

IF being ignored, neglected, disrespected and generally made to feel like boil on someone's butt is required to join this club, then I meet all the criteria!

Poster has hit the nail on the head! If it's not them, then it's not important. But let them get a bug, and you can hear them groan from miles away!

This is my second marriage, but it seems they're all alike.

Don't mean to be a male basher, but sometimes, you just need to vent. Good men are like outhouses, the good ones are taken and the rest are crap!

We'll overcome all of this, and be stronger for it. How it affects them in the future remains to be seen.
I have two sons, and I'm trying like crazy to train them compassion and sympathy, but hard as I try, I'm not sure I'm achieving it?
Maybe it's just not in their bones? (not you Roy).......ha....

I wish they realized that kindness and even false compassion, would go a long way in our recovery. The physical strain is enough to combat, without all the emotional garbage too. How can it not hurt our feelings?

[fire7163]

Ladies:
It's beginning to look and sound like a male bashing party.
Do I need to remind you that approx 49% of those with C-diff are men.
What makes you think that the forgeting of dates, cold shoulder, and isolation is a one way street ? It's actually a fairly common thing with long term or chronic illnesses. The other party whether intentional, or not feels helpless, and frustrated and must carry on with their normal life. I've said it before C-diff not only affects the victim, but everyone else around them. One other point, some with C-diff aren't the most pleasant folks to be around at times.

Fire

[jaspore]

Guess I got carried away Fire. So sorry. Maybe the men could write about how the women treat them, and we could compare?
I'm sure it's hard on everyone.....

[Bobbie]

jaspore,
Did enjoy your reference to "outhouses." Often all the training in the world doesn't help if your sons don't have the right role model. A counselor told me years ago, "The most important thing a man can do for his children is respect their mother." So true.

fire,
We don't mean you. You are obviously one of the "good guys" who will "stand up" for his wife & also show compassion. And you are right. Selfishness & lack of compasssion are not confined to males.

[maryinflorida]

I think most men are genetically predisposed to be caregivers. Just take a look at who are the vast majority of nurses, teachers, social workers and other caregivers...women! There are exceptions, of course, and I know a couple of them, but as a rule men are not very good at caring for sick children or wives. They forget to feed you, do the laundry, the dishes, feed the pets, take the kids to school (sometimes because they don't know where they are!)...the list goes on. But what are we to do? Can't live with them but can't live without them either! (Just think of all the children)


(Sorry guys---nothing personal, just the facts!)

[cindym]

We need to have Hollywood do a sitcom about the Life and Times of Cdiffers. Bring a lot of laugh's to everyone except US! Fire- the ugly remarks, forgetful personalities run in both sexes! It just seems we (the women) voice it more freely! My husband has another definition of what we do about it but I will not say it here! ha!

[marscan]

watch it Roy...we'll bomb you with Oreos..lol. And I love that saying Bobbie - I had my son at MacDill AFB hospital and the sign hanging up was very similar..."The healthiest thing for your baby is for Mommy and Daddy to love and respect each other". Brought back a cool memory to see it again........