Just Feel like giving up

[skipperndallas]

This illness has just wiped me out. The anxiety of it is the worse. I had this two and a half years ago for seven months along with mrsa. i beat the mrsa in 4 months and it took 7 for c-diff. i don't know which was worse. then in april i get doxy for brochitis and i back on the c-diff train. The depression is the worse i keep asking god to take me out at night.I wake up several times a night sweating and i still wake up in the morn.all morning while I getting ready for work I heave and the fact I have a hiatial hernia doesn't help.I'd like to thank the people who have given me strength Like Vike, NiKKi, christina,neng, whitepine , bobbie and the others, just reading your post does help but I don't feel like i'm gonna make it this time.I can barely eat a meal a day and I'm wasting away I feel.I finished xifaxan about 3 weeks ago and just recently the D came back. last time the fecal enemas was the only thing that helped.and about a year after i finished the FI's (at home) i got food poisioning and that restored my system to a pre-cdiff state. it was like ecoli was what the doctor ordered Lol. Anyway I really needed to vent I'm very depressed and this is affecting my whole life, my job, everything. I'd really like to talk to anyone who has done the FI'S . Whitepine if you read this please contact me.and anyone else. I have questions . I was wondering if anyone has done FI's without sterlizing the bowels with vanc or any other antibiotic for five days and if the purging of the bowels with a laxitive is absolutely necessary.

[TheVike]

How are you able to go stay at work i lost my job over this just quit basically for i could not stand up and stand being off the couch bed I fel FEL tthe same way what about probiotics you goottta take them alot!??

[skipperndallas]

I tried everything my first round no p-biotics worked. I felt like I was flushing money. I did FI 's and that did the trick the last time i fought this monster (2.5 yrs ago) no I'm using the immunity drinks and danactive now though.

[skipperndallas]

its friday getting ready for another day at the office. last night as soon as the bentyl wore off the D hit.I took some more bentyl before I slept. I sure hope the beast isn't back. but i feel it is regrouping. i'm gonna take another bentyl to make it through the day. the D instances have been increasing since wed , more and more each day . I'm very worried i haven't been more that five days. I keep asking my self should i go to the ER and get tested or just do the FI'S again without sterilizing the bowels? I have been off the meds about three and half weeks

[Jodie]

How are you doing skipper? Just reading thru and feel just like you do tonite, depressed and when will it ever end and why does it just keep getting worse??? Hope you feel better!!!

JODIE

[Jayne]

Skipper, I am sure most of us have reached that "dark place" where we just want it to end, that's natural when it becomes chronic problems & uncertainty. However, remember...you beat it once before! There is a high probabilty you will beat it once again. If the FI's worked for you, you may want to consider doing them again. You mentioned that you are waisting away-since you really need to eat..try making yogurt a regular part of your daily diet-it can only help. Perhaps you should also consider a liquid supplement (as the nutrients are more easily/quickly absorbed.) I am so pleased that you were able to keep your job, as many of us have lost our job due to the "nature of the beast". It's one less stress you have on your plate. I know it's hard, but hang in there. We're routing for you.

[Bobbie]

Skipper,
Know well how you feel. Had C. diff. 4 yrs. the lst time. (Extenuating circumstances.) Had it again two yrs. later with another bout of pneumonia. Was able to tolerate a Z-pak last Nov. (pneumonia again) -- much to my surprise.

No wonder you are depressed -- lots "on your plate."

To gain weight try Ensure Plus -- vanilla tasted the best to me (I was down to 98 lbs.). Make yourself eat even when you don't want to do so. See FAQ-Nutrition. If you can tolerate them, take a multi (not mega vitamin) & be sure you get enough calcium.

If infusions helped you before, why don't you contact same doc. & do them again? "The broth" finally cured me although it didn't work the first time. See Doctors - Dr. Allen - KC.

You should be off Vanco. (or Flagyl) for 10 to 14 days (l4 best) before being retested -- if you can. Some are so ill they can't wait that long, but if you can, test will be more reliable. See FAQ-Tests.

I, too, have a hiatal hernia & take a PPI -- one study said PPI's contribute to C. diff. but it hasn't (so far) in my case. Last year when I was in England, I got food poisoning for the lst time in my life but didn't get C. diff.

Let's hope your luck changes for the better! Be sure & see a good GI or ID who is familiar with recurrent/relapsing C. diff.

It can be an awful disease with many physical & emotional "ups & downs." Read FAQ-Coping with C. diff.

You recovered from this once; you will again.