Dad's nightmare

[BintasGirl]

Things are looking up somewhat today. Dad ate more than he has in the last 5 weeks. Not a whole lot, but more. And he could feed himself! He's been back on flagyl and vanco since Monday. Still had liquid bm last night, but generally stronger. Lots of back-and-forth with doctors and me, which I think has led to some results in his care. Hope it lasts. It's 5 weeks since he entered the hospital--no end in sight.

[Bobbie]

Binta's Girl,
Glad your father is a little better. Everyone in a hospital (or a nursing home) needs an advocate to "watch out" for them, especially the elderly who often belong to the polite, believing generation who thought docs. were Gods. I'm sure you intervention has helped your father.

Remember, be polite, persistant, & profesisonal in dealing with medical personel, but above all persistant.

[cryingsilly]

I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this with your father. Thankfully he has you to watch out for him and care for him. What a wonderful daughter you must be.

I will keep you and your father in my prayers.

darlene

[BintasGirl]

Well, Dad has been in the hospital for seven weeks now. He's in rehab again, but only because he has asked not to be taken back to the hospital. His blood pressure is low, he's on a catheter because he can't void completely, and he can't take physical therapy because his knees buckle, even in the walker. Now I've been told that he will probably never live independently again, and "the family" and he should be thinking about assisted living (read: nursing home). He'll be on vanco for life, I've been told. I'm angry that a healthy man walked into an elective surgery having been cleared by his physicians, and now everyone is trying to find a reason why he's at fault for his current status. I'm just so sad that he's going through all this. He so wants his life back, and it doesn't seem that he can have it. I'm the one whose supposed to break it to him, and I just don't know how.

[Bobbie]

Bintasgirl,
Have wondered how your father is doing. So sorry he is still suffering. If he hasn't seen a urologist, I would consult one. Catheters tend to promote UTI's & the danger of using additional antibiotics. Make sure he drinks enough fluid, but the elderly can actually drink too much water & deplete their electrolytes. Some mix Garorade & water half & half to prevent this, but check this out with his docs. before making any changes. Perhaps if he can stay off antibiotics for awhile, he can eventually stop the Vanco.

I'm also sorry you will have to be the one to break this to him. Consult with a geriatic doc. or mental health counselor re. this. Would hate to take away all his hope.

Perhaps you can have him moved to a facility nearer you so it will be easier to "keep tabs" on things. I had to move my mother here from MT five years ago when she broke her hip. She is now 90 & doing well for her age, but I go to her assisted living almost every day & talk to her 3 or 4X a day. Would suggest you contact your local department of health & ask for suggestions.

I don't blame you for being angry. We've had many "medical mishaps" in our family -- tough to take.

[BintasGirl]

Thanks so much for the support. Got a call this a.m.--he's been taken back to the hospital to a room where he can be closely monitored. Oxygen levels plummet when he's off oxygen, he's shaky, fluid on lungs, unstable. Thanks, Bobbie, for pointing me in the direction to go. Can I ask, how did you transport your mom? I'm worried that he won't be in any shape to fly once they decide to release him.

[Bobbie]

BintasGirl,
I'll answer you more thoroughly in response to your PM.

My mother had been in the hospital, rehab, back to the hospital, & then in a nursing home for a total of 10 wks. (I was there the entire 10 wks except for a week when I returned to KC to look for an assisted living.) By the time she was well enough to travel, the house was sold, her belongings were moved, etc. It was a mess. (House had been my grandparents & someone had lived there for 42 years; most were "savers.") I got a wheelchair for Mother when we changed planes in SLC. She always has had good health altho. she is failing now. She was on a catheter for a long time in the hospital (2 UTI's) but finally able to do w/o it. She was 85, & her main problem was her healing hip.

You can get assistance for your father when you fly. Depending on your his condition, he might be able to do well in an assisted living rather than a nursing home (less expensive). Some in Mother's assisted living are on oxygen. Usually, asssisted living places will not accept residents if they are on other aids (such as catheters) that need a lot of monitoring. I have one friend who had a nurse help her transport her father from AZ to here (he had to live in a nursing home) as he had congestive heart failture & other problems.

If you do leave your father where he is, is his girlfriend up to monitoring him? Is there anyone else who can supervise his care?

I would contact the board of health in both locations & ask their advice. Also, the hospital should have a social worker for your father that can advise you.

Good luck. Been there, done that, not fun.

[BintasGirl]

Just came back from visiting PA and Dad. He just returned from yet another trip back to hospital, but he is doing well in nursing home--eating well and responding to therapy after significant reduction in hospital meds. Therapy going slowly, and there's only 7 days left of insurance money--after that, who knows? Hopefully he'll be strong enough to make it with home care. He's still on vanco. Will post either in general forum or success stories when I know more. Thanks for all the support!