Cdiff and marriage problems

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Zapper
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Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby Zapper » Sat Oct 26, 2019 11:59 pm

Has anyone else dealt with cdiff infection and recovery affecting your marriage negatively?

I had a fight with my husband today and he shouted out that “you have never been the same since cdiff. It fucked your head up”.

I do tend to clean more than normal and bleach things a lot. I worry about the cleanliness of certain things outside the home that seem pretty normal (public restrooms, hospitals, etc). I do have pretty troublesome post infectious ibs so my diet never was able to make a full recovery. But I can still go out and find things to eat etc.

Anyone else go thru this? Do we tend to get a little PTSD or is he truly just being a jerk?

Thanks again.

beth22
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby beth22 » Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:43 am

A lot of us become PTSD, so you are not alone. You might want to try some counseling if you think it would help you. I did for a while. I still am careful with things like washing my hands before I eat in a restaurant AFTER handling the menu. I also wash my hands whenever I put on or take off my shoes. Most of us are left with some things like this. My husband thinks I overdo it too. I don't do the cleaning stuff so much though, I guess because I don't like to clean. I never did my laundry separately or used bleach on my clothes. But, when I had active c difficile, I did use bleach in the bathroom, but now I just clean normally and have a cleaning lady come in every two weeks to do heavy stuff. But, that is not because of c difficile. I always had that because I work and have back problems so I can't do heavy chores.

Bobbie
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby Bobbie » Sun Oct 27, 2019 2:02 pm

Same here. Do try counseling. Also, try to do your cleaning when he isn't around and don't talk about c diff with him. C diff is hard on families BUT harder on us sufferers. We are the primary victims, but our families and friends are affected.

Been there, done that. "Feel" for you. Best wishes.

georgina
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby georgina » Mon Oct 28, 2019 1:36 am

Well , if you want my opinion , he was kinda' of jerk to shout at you. Clearly , he doesn't understand how is like to suffer form something you never trully get rid of , and all the anxiety that comes with it. I had a very loving and supportive family that never gave up on me , i am sorry for what you are going trough.

AnxiousJ
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby AnxiousJ » Mon Oct 28, 2019 2:04 pm

I went through something very, very similar. My husband has told me many times that I am not the same and I know I'm not either. He may have even said the same exact thing at some point.However, I understand it was not only hard for me but for him as well and our kids. I had it almost 4 years ago and still see a therapist. I still get very nervous when one of my kids gets sick or they have a friend over here who gets sick. I wasn't intimate with him for a VERY long time because I was constantly worried about getting a uti and needing abx (which I'm not not prone to but got after Vanco). I do feel the anxiety continues to improve but clearly am still dealing with it. I recently restarted Buspar after being off of it for 1.5 years.

Also, I've been a stay at home mom for more than 10 years and hope to go back to teaching elementary special ed. However, I am really terrified to go back as elementary schools are often full of sick kids in the fall and winter months. I am trying to get past this.

D1dad
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby D1dad » Wed Nov 06, 2019 8:07 am

I’m with ya. My wife discounted it so much that I woke up @5 am and drove myself to the hospital. I have a hard time over that to this day for it and nothing has been the same since, but I’m trying to get past it. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but if she would have been making the same deal with god that I was for 8 straight days maybe she would have understood.

D1dad
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby D1dad » Wed Nov 06, 2019 8:10 am

AnxiousJ wrote:
> I went through something very, very similar. My husband has told me many
> times that I am not the same and I know I'm not either. He may have even
> said the same exact thing at some point.However, I understand it was not
> only hard for me but for him as well and our kids. I had it almost 4 years
> ago and still see a therapist. I still get very nervous when one of my kids
> gets sick or they have a friend over here who gets sick. I wasn't intimate
> with him for a VERY long time because I was constantly worried about
> getting a uti and needing abx (which I'm not not prone to but got after
> Vanco). I do feel the anxiety continues to improve but clearly am still
> dealing with it. I recently restarted Buspar after being off of it for 1.5
> years.
>
> Also, I've been a stay at home mom for more than 10 years and hope to go
> back to teaching elementary special ed. However, I am really terrified to
> go back as elementary schools are often full of sick kids in the fall and
> winter months. I am trying to get past this.

I work in hospitals and nursing homes primarily. My dad is fighting brain cancer and is now also in a nursing home and have been in both non stop. I understand your fears but you gotta live a life. I look at the antibiotics as the problem and not the environment we live in. I’m sure I carried cdiff for yrs but my rundown immune system and craving antibiotics for every little sniffle caused my issues not my job.

Zapper
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby Zapper » Tue Jan 21, 2020 5:02 pm

I appreciate everyone's responses. It is very difficult.

I also still work in healthcare (no direct patient contact) and I am very anxious at times. I have been applying for other jobs/career change for well over 2 years and so far no luck. I also have a 3 year old (I was preggers with him when I first got sick) who brings home every illness known to man and I get sick with him every time (iga and igg deficiency)..
I clean alot. I dont trust anyone else to do it. I just honestly want more support that can not be offered to me thru my husband.
I have seen a therapist but stopped going as it got repetitive.

Again, thanks guys. My personal opinion is that he was being a jerk in the moment and truly just doesnt understand (even though he was holding my hand with my 18 month cdiff hell).


It just goes back to that no one will understand truly unless they go through it themselves. I just have to be more patient with others misunderstanding.

D1dad
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby D1dad » Fri Jan 24, 2020 9:40 am

I think if he held your hand for months than that says something. My wife did not. In fact I drove myself to the ER and she was more upset (although she’d never say it) at the thought of owing our insurance deductible. In her defense, I was a basket case after because it took so long to get well, and I turned into a hypochondriac. I suppose if the roles were reversed I may have had a, “toughen up” attitude. In all honesty our marriage hasn’t been the same since but we’ve been together for 23 yrs and sometimes that happens I guess.

ajml13
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby ajml13 » Sat Nov 13, 2021 12:15 pm

I am so sorry to hear, I can definitely relate to the marriage problems. My husband and I are in the same boat after we both were ill with CDiff recently. I think he blames me a little because I was sick first and likely gave it to him before we knew what I was suffering from. We have been so stressed and fighting a lot - tensions are so high. This is especially difficult when we are sick and trying to also care for a baby without any family around to help us. We haven't been intimate in months and we are even sleeping in separate beds because we don't want to infect reinfect each other. It breaks my heart. However, he just finished up his 1st treatment of Flagyl and I am going to see an ID doc next week. Hopefully we will be over this hurdle soon and we can feel like a married couple again.
35 yo F Diagnosed with Cdiff Sept 2021.
Completed 1 round of Vanco 10 days, 1 round of Dificid 10 days. EIA test came back positive for A+B toxins after Dificid.

beth22
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby beth22 » Sat Nov 13, 2021 2:38 pm

Sorry to hear that. I think any illness takes its toll on relationships. Not to mention having a newborn baby. Give it time. I'm surprised that your husband was treated with Flagyl. It is no longer recommended for c difficile. Hopefully it worked for him.

Wendy J.
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby Wendy J. » Fri Nov 19, 2021 5:42 pm

Has anyone on this site considered hypnotherapy to deal with the anxiety? It is one of the suggested therapies in the book "Costridium Difficile: A Patient's Guide" which I believe I ordered from this site. My 95 year old mom had C.Diff three months ago. She has gone through two Vancomycin courses (one taper) and Difficid, and seems to suffer from non C.Diff. diarrhea every 30 days or so. She was going to try hypnotherapy for her anxiety but changed her mind.

roy
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby roy » Fri Nov 19, 2021 6:32 pm

Wendy.
You are confusing this site with another Internet site.
We do not sell books, or arrange conferences.
We are a support site and diligently remove all content that asks for a payment.
It's great your Mom is doing well.
Many sufferers that are 95 would not survive.

beth22
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Re: Cdiff and marriage problems

Postby beth22 » Sat Nov 20, 2021 6:44 pm

Years ago I tried hypnotherapy for IBS that was suggested by a doctor. It was a total waste of time and money. Did not help one bit.


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