C. Diff Newbie: mental health

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Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 2:20 am

C. Diff Newbie: mental health

Postby DMS6991 » Sat Jun 16, 2018 2:37 am

Hi. I am a 21 y/o college student. Earlier this month I contracted strep & was put on antibiotics. A couple short days after I finished my antibiotic round I noticed an increase in bowel movement. This diahrrea became progressively worse. Since I had zero other symptoms other than diahrrea I ate whatever I wanted this only intensified the diahrrea as they were not the most healthy food options.

By the 7th day my diahrrea had a lot of blood. Myanxiety was through the roof this night because I knew something was wrong. This same day my eyes became inflamed & were oozing. I had an intense anxiety attack & my family took me to the hospital. After a saline IV & many lab results as well as a rectal exam I was diagnosed with C. Diff. I was relieved I had an answer & could be treated but I didn't know the worst was yet to come. Because I worked on my college campus & was starting my summer course soon, I stayed in the dorm room alone despite my family's worries. I was incredibly fatigued , nauseous & in pain. I had to make sure I was eating, drinking fluids, taking meds (as I also developed conjunctivitis in both my eyes that same day which turned them a solid red color). Looking back, I know I shouldn't have gone through that alone. But I did. For a week.

A couple of days in after my first hospitalization I was hospitalized again. There was a unimaginable pain in my elbow that was inflamed. The doctor changed my antibiotic prescription, extracted the fluid to test it, & it was determined I had arthritis. Some nights I could not sleep the paintraveled to my ankles & middle finger & I was in so much pain. By this point I'm starting to feel better yet my body was disabled completely & I stayed in my dark room in bed all day again. At this point I'm sad & angry& stressed I'm unable to work & attend my rigorous anatomy summer class. I've used family, friends, coworker's as resources but felt I needed more help.

I shouldn't have been alone. This weekend I came home with my family. My mother is incredibly relieved & although I thought my inner body was fine, & my arthritis pain wasn't so severe that I couldn't walk, I still had a bad day. My mental health is completely deteriorated from that traumatic, isolating, difficult time. I'm exhausted from mostly restless nights. I'm defeated that this summer didn't go as planned & depending on my arthritis I know I cannot enjoy outdoor summer activities like hiking. My anxiety creeps up & manifests itself in different ways that makes me think I'm dying although I'm slowly progressing. I also snap at family members & have isolated myself from loved ones & feel anger towards them. I'm scared my anxiety is bsck even when I'll get better. I'm scared of pharmecuticals & scared I might have to depend on them if anxiety becomes unbearable.

Depression makes me feel bland at the very same time. I'm truly tired & defeated. All I want is to feel like myself again. The time could not come fast enough.

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Re: C. Diff Newbie: mental health

Postby Ril » Sat Jun 16, 2018 3:39 pm

Hello DMS and welcome to the site. Please read the first thread on rules for posting.
It sounds as though you have been having a terrible time and much of it is not just related to c diff. It is good that you are now home and have the support of your family and are no longer isolated.

You don’t say if you still have c diff symptoms nor do you ask any questions about c diff. Hopefully your treatment for what sounds like RA will help. Your depression and anxiety is distressing and disabling and you should think about getting professional help rather than trying to deal with it alone. In cases like yours pharmaceuticals can really help as well even tough I know you are reluctant, as getting counseling. I hope you will consider either or both.

If you need more information about c diff, read many areas and posts on this site or ask questions of other posters.

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