Left with Health Anxiety and a Distrust of (some) Doctors

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Musings
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Left with Health Anxiety and a Distrust of (some) Doctors

Postby Musings » Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:17 pm

Have been c.diff free for about 6 months. Am 90% back to normal but left with PI-IBS (often aggravated by stress/anxiety) and some food intolerances but everything considered it is tolerable and really can't complain on my current state as I can work, exercise, and live life how I want with some tweaks to my diet.

What I still struggle with, and does impact my life, is extreme health anxiety. ANY health concern sends me into a total tailspin where my anxiety causes me to have issues getting even the basics in my life done which is simply not acceptable as I own my house alone and have to financially support myself, my two dogs, three cats, two guinea pigs, and a reptile rescue (yes, I have a "zoo") as well as physically caring for them.

Recently (there is a thread in General Discussion), I developed fairly extreme tailbone pain with no cause determined and though the pain is now basically gone - the anxiety remains. To add to it, the first doctor I saw about this wanted to put my on high c.diff offender antibiotics which were 100% unneeded even if I had the condition he thought I had! I then saw my dermatologist and PCP who had no concrete diagnosis which did not help to alleviate any stress/fear.

I am on anti-anxiety medication and did get counseling for these issues when I had active c.diff so realize the health anxiety needs to be addressed but continue to struggle, and honestly, it's exhausting. Have finally gotten to a point where I no longer freak out about c.diff every time my GI acts up but still left with mental consequences of this illness.

NanciT
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Re: Left with Health Anxiety and a Distrust of (some) Doctors

Postby NanciT » Mon Jul 17, 2017 2:18 pm

It sounds like you are doing the right things for yourself, mental health and short term anxiety medications. This fear can take time.

Honesty, I had thyroid cancer prior to CDIFF and did not have this fear I still carry around over this illness. In my case I believe it is because I went through 4 GI's all with different opinions on how to treat this, most were actually unfamiliar with how difficult this can be to get rid of( I had 5 relapses). Two of them also stated they had NEVER seen a patient have any issues with Vancomycin. I had to do my own research, I could go on and on. I live in a area with 2 excellent teaching hospitals and yet very few "experts" on this illness.

When you are really sick with something like this and are unable to find a EXPERT because there are so few, it can be devastating. Especially if you have relapses and no reason why. I also believe there is that gut/emotion issues.

Consider trying the counselor again, just to get you through the fear. It sounds like it is getting a bit better and I have found time really helps. Establishing that faith in our own health. It takes time with this illness.

Take Care

NanciT

Davidtm
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Re: Left with Health Anxiety and a Distrust of (some) Doctors

Postby Davidtm » Mon Jul 17, 2017 6:42 pm

Musings,
I read your post and some of it is exactly how I feel so I can commiserate with you too. You've helped me in some of my posts and all I can say is thank you and that I wish we didn't have the anxiety and health concerns that follow something like this. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and mine has always been health fear/concern related since I was 18. Year after year I would test negative for various disorders and conditions. I had everything from terrible chest pains to stress induced ibs. Panic attacks, feeling like I can't breathe, etc. yet always negative. Until c diff.
Now I'm left with a lot of fear and anxiety from the whole ordeal. I hope we can work toward better days and less fears. I used to have extreme pain in my tailbone on and off from the age of 13 and it was never anything.
I'm taking new steps to overcome the anxiety and this forum has been a big help in that and in helping me have more good days.
I hope you have more good days and that the mental consequences diminish!

georgina
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Re: Left with Health Anxiety and a Distrust of (some) Doctors

Postby georgina » Tue Jul 18, 2017 12:32 am

I think we can all relate to that tremendous fear and anxiety . Like you , I was consumed by fear , frustration and sometimes full blown panic attacks , had a really bad time with insomnia and had to go on antidepressants and antianxiety meds.
For me Cdiff started when I had to take treatment for pulmonary TB .The curios thing is that I do not fear Cdiff anymore even though I've had 7 full blown relapses , a failed FMT and right now I'm still testing positive for toxin A , but I still get the creeps when I think of TB and I am declared healed from it (had a very mild case) , is enough for someone to cough near me I keep my breath and run as fast as I can.

Bobbie
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Re: Left with Health Anxiety and a Distrust of (some) Doctors

Postby Bobbie » Tue Jul 18, 2017 10:53 pm

I have been involved with c diff for 38 years ( including my son's first case)
and still flinch at the word "antibiotic."

Musings
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Re: Left with Health Anxiety and a Distrust of (some) Doctors

Postby Musings » Wed Jul 19, 2017 11:46 am

Thank you, everyone. Sad to see so many others left struggling with this issue. Going to be making an appointment with my therapist soon as I am still obsessing over my tailbone pain though it is now very minimal and certain behaviors are kicking in that I know aren't healthy. Hoping he can help get me back on the right track.


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