Still having gynecological problems

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okaylo
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Still having gynecological problems

Postby okaylo » Thu Dec 29, 2016 1:21 pm

Thought I had a UTI but 4 home tests have come up negative. Symptoms have persisted including burning skin, full bladder with pressure, cramping, pain, urine that smells like cereal and overall general discomfort. Can't get in to see the nurse practitioner at the OBGYN's until January 9. Terrified to go to my primary care doctor as one of the office's patients had cdiff. I know most will say this is an unreasonable fear but I can't get past it. I know if I go and have to touch anything or I use the bathroom for a urine sample I am going to have an anxiety attack and mental breakdown. I don't know if I should go to urgent care or what. I'm just so afraid of everything.

Update as of a few minutes ago: Called my primary care's office to ask if they did vaginal cultures in office. Receptionist said the doc will do an exam but if there's irritation, pain etc he will most likely refer me to my OBGYN. I'm so afraid I have some type of infection from washing or soap. I am working through my anxiety in therapy and neurofeedback but life after this illness is scary. I don't want things to get worse so I don't know where to go or what to do. I have an appt at the OBGYN's on 1/9 to have a culture and urine sample taken...

okaylo
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Re: Still having gynecological problems

Postby okaylo » Thu Dec 29, 2016 9:43 pm

Just had my ultrasound. They asked me if I drank water and I said yes as I was instructed to drink 32oz beforehand. They said they scheduled me for 2 ultrasounds before the authorization went through but I only needed one so I had to drain my bladder. Cue the public restroom anxiety. So I hover over the toilet and don't touch anything. I didn't even flush because I didn't wanna touch the handle. Use a paper towel to turn the sink on. Then I go to wash my hands and all they have is antibacterial hand soap with triclosan in it which is pure antibacterial agent and I have cuts all over my hands. I have no choice but to use the soap to wash and I'm ready to cry at this point. Afraid something got in my cuts and is going to affect my transplant and bacteria. I make it a point to not use antibacterial hand soap when I can and to not use anything with triclosan in it. The FDA has banned it in many products and I remember a fellow poster being concerned about this. I'm going to lose it right now.

roy
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Re: Still having gynecological problems

Postby roy » Thu Dec 29, 2016 10:29 pm

Someone has got to say this!
Your freaking out over ridiculous things!
Nutty as a fruit cake!
Mad as a hatter!
A sandwich short of a loaf!
In other words a normal person that has hit a down time and needs face to face help.
All said in the nicest possible way and not intended to cause offence.
Posting your irrational fears here is reinforcing your problems.
Now that I have said what everyone, including you, are thinking move on and get help with your anxiety.
We can only help with support about c.diff so try to keep your posts on topic.
This might sound unsympathetic but you can't get internet help with your personal feelings.

beth22
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Re: Still having gynecological problems

Postby beth22 » Fri Dec 30, 2016 2:43 am

I would not go to Urgent Care unless I were really sick and doctor's office was closed. You are far more likely to pick up some infection there, especially now in winter with upper respiratory illnesses going around. Then you run the risk of needing to take an antibiotic.

The soap getting into your cuts isn't going to do anything to affect the transplant. I can't tell you how many public restrooms I use. I do it all the time. I am careful, but when you have to go, you have to go. C diff spores can be on shoes, handbags, anything. Just make sure to wash your hands well. I once got a relapse after spending about 8 hours in ER with my mom and using the restrooms there, but I also visited her in the hospital for the entire week after the ER, as they admitted her. However, that relapse was not a full-blown relapse and I did not take vanco for it.

One thing that does make me sick, not just with GI stuff, but other things, is when I get very stressed and you sound as if you are extremely stressed out. I get run down and then I catch colds, get GI symptoms, etc. Try to concentrate on getting the support you need from the therapist you are seeing and don't overthink everything.

I had to visit my mom at her facility when it was still under quarantine. She was over the norovirus that she had and I had not seen her in a month. I went despite my fears, but I did wear rubber gloves that I took off when I left the building and I dumped my clothes in the laundry room when I came home and changed, as norovirus is extremely contagious. Just do what would be normal precautions and don't overthink everything so much.

okaylo
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Re: Still having gynecological problems

Postby okaylo » Fri Dec 30, 2016 2:50 pm

Thank you Beth. The only medical related places I've been since my 2nd FMT are the lab, the OBGYN's office, and the imaging center for the ultrasound. Washing my hands vigorously after leaving the lab and OBGYN and washed my hands well after using the bathroom at the imaging center and touching the sink handle with a paper towel and the handle to unlock the door. I know I am anxiety ridden and overthinking and analyzing every little thing due to fear. And that my body is suffering unnecessarily because of the stress. You are right, I am extremely stressed out. The OCD has made things worse and has caused the over washing of my body as well as my hands. I am just so afraid of being unclean and it makes me feel in control to wash but is actually in turn making things worse. I am just afraid if I try and ride out the current pain it will get worse but then again there are risks with going to places like urgent care and being surrounded by sick people like you said. I am calling the OBGYN's office daily to check for cancellations as I spoke to my primary doctor's office and they said he can do an exam but would most likely refer me back to the OBGYN's for pain and any other accompanying issues so I don't want to make an unnecessary trips.
I know I have to keep working at this in therapy and break through to the other side of happiness. I feel guilty if I enjoy anything or try to let my guard down and I entertain any and all possible situations and when one thought leaves another occurs. It's truly mind bending. I don't even want to move to my new house because I don't want to put my clothes or belongings in the backseat of my truck or on the floor because I transported my bagged samples in there. It's ridiculous and I know I have to get past it but when you've been sick for so long it's easier said than done. I appreciate your insight and support and I hope that you are well. Happy New Year Beth and thank you for reaching out to me.

Musings
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Re: Still having gynecological problems

Postby Musings » Fri Dec 30, 2016 4:13 pm

Know you are seeking help, and that is wonderful, but it sounds like your OCD and current thought process is still really dominating your life. There is absolutely no shame in enjoying things and is something that really should be encouraged during times of extreme stress - take some time to read a book, watch a funny movie, go for a walk, try yoga, play a video game, anything to free yourself from constant thoughts of c. diff.

Not sure if you are on medication as part of your counseling but if not would consider it. I am on a low dose of Zoloft in addition to attending counseling (spurred by my reaction to my c. diff diagnosis) and find it takes the edge off a bit. It is not a perfect fix but it does help and sometimes that's enough.

Really hope you can start taking back your life and have no guilty feelings about doing so.

okaylo
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Re: Still having gynecological problems

Postby okaylo » Fri Dec 30, 2016 5:02 pm

Musings, you are 100% correct. I am not allowing myself to fully live and am living in complete fear. When I do try to enjoy things, my mind just reverts back to the recurring thoughts and all possibilities. I get over something and then a new reminder sets in. Like does that light switch have something on it? Does the knob on the cabinet have something on it from when I flushed the toilet with me knee and my knee hit it? Things were very bad and obviously traumatic enough to where I felt the need to flush the toilet with my knee even after my 2nd FMT out of fear something was on my hands and would get someone sick. These are just small examples of thoughts that enter my mind daily. These thoughts are getting in the way but I will continue to fight. I know I am way too hard on myself as my therapist has told me and I need to give myself a break. I have also begun neurofeedback which is supposed to help with recurring thoughts and behaviors by reducing and correcting them long term. It is expensive but well worth the potential calming effects. I have set my Christmas bonus aside for the sessions. I really do appreciate your encouragement and reminders about trying to enjoy life again. Thank you for not making me feel crazy.

Ril
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Re: Still having gynecological problems

Postby Ril » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:55 am

Okaylo, I think you would benefit from a medication (re)evaluation for the OCD by a psychiatrist. I hope you will discuss this with your therapist. The emotional pain of all this compulsiveness has overwhelmed you and this site cannot provide what you need to truly for help in this regard, and right now this is your most pressing issue.

georgina
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Re: Still having gynecological problems

Postby georgina » Sat Dec 31, 2016 3:15 am

Flushing the toilet with your knee?!?!? Really?!? Jesus , girl , you have gone ballistic.


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