Frustrated

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tanya12
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Frustrated

Postby tanya12 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 12:05 pm

tomorrow will be my last day on the Vancomyacin. Anyone who reads my posts is aware that I am going through terrible anxiety because of all of this. I did one round of Flagyl and now I'm on the 10 days of vanco. I have had no D and over a week I'm actually not going much at all but when I do it's formed. I was feeling very good on the Vanco and was able to eat pretty much anything but now over the past 2 1/2 days that terrible nausea is back after eating and the burping and flatulence
I do not mean to upset over this but I don't know if this is part of IBS or an indicator that the cdiff is on its way back.
I posted something similar yesterday but you have to understand my frustration and fear as this has consumed my life luckily my work is very understanding. I am aggravated that I cannot sleep at night I'm up every hour not to mention having to wake up to take a pill.
I seem to have hot flashes on and off at night only throughout this ordeal I just don't know what to do anymore I don't know how to stay calm I'm going to talk to someone but in the meantime what do I do I almost feel as if I making myself sicker and sicker

amyc
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Re: Frustrated

Postby amyc » Wed Dec 28, 2016 12:14 pm

I was cured by a single course of vanco after flagyl failed, so don't panic that you can't beat this thing. The symptoms you are describing could definitely be caused by anxiety, so definitely get in to see a doctor to get that under control. Amytriptoline might be good for you if your current med isn't helping enough, or celexa is another antidepressant that helps with anxiety.

roy
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Re: Frustrated

Postby roy » Wed Dec 28, 2016 12:54 pm

Expect some rough days when you finish meds.
It's now time for your flora to recover and return to normal to finally complete the c.diff cure.
While it's doing that you wont feel normal and can get D.
Don't panic if you get symptoms like minor D that clears up in a day or two.

tanya12
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Re: Frustrated

Postby tanya12 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 12:56 pm

Thank you everyone I think some of this is fear that I'm at the end of the road for the anabiotic's and wondering what to expect. I guess the stomach rumbling all the time really makes me nervous however I have to admit I am probably not eating more than 800 calories a day I've been trying to add food like oranges turkey etc. I'm wondering if I'm a little bit constipated and this is what's causing some of the problems as I'm not going all that much

tanya12
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Re: Frustrated

Postby tanya12 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 1:24 pm

What frustrates me the most with something I didn't mention because I really actually don't know why I didn't mention it is that I have always been such a very strong person. I lost both of my sons age 6 years old and age 18 months old. They had a rare neuromuscular disorder . I was always so strong and always so positive so I'm disappointed in myself for being so negative with this battle With cdiff. Even more so I only had one failed round of Flagyl so I don't know why I am so determined that I have a long road ahead of me already thinking of who could be a donor for me. I think with sticks with me the most is that there was only a 25% chance my second son would be born with the same Disability as his brother and I looked at it at 75% of the ads are in my favor but he fell into that 25% chance so I guess when they say 80% of people clear of this and 1 to 2 rounds of anabiotic's I just automatically put myself in the 20% that's not going to I know it's terrible to think that way but Your mindcan do crazy things
I don't know what bothers me more ,the cdiff , or, The anxiety that has surfaced that I have not suffered in well over 10 years. I cannot believe that Thursday or Friday last week I was shopping and baking and going about my life and then when I am I am this crying fool and honestly nothing horrible has happened other then having nausea and stomach rumbling.i Read the hell that people have been through, and I am ashamed at how I am behaving because I've maybe suffered from three bouts of diarrhea a day throughout all of this and it is always stopped 24 hours after treatment began I think that is what the most frustrating part is

amyc
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Re: Frustrated

Postby amyc » Wed Dec 28, 2016 5:48 pm

I am sorry you have dealt with such terrible loss in your life. The stress of C diff seems to have brought out the trauma of losing your sons. I hope you find an excellent and compassionate psychiatrist who works with a great counselor and they work together to find you the right combo of meds and talk therapy to bring you back to vibrant life again. It may take some trial and error to get the meds right, but it's worth it, I promise.

You can search online to find docs who specialize in PTSD treatment. One unfortunate benefit of our engaging in endless wars overseas is that doctors have learned more about trauma and PTSD, and that knowledge can be used to help everybody.

NanciT
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Re: Frustrated

Postby NanciT » Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:31 pm

I am so sorry for the terrible loss of both of your sons, you have been through a great deal. CDIFF has a Gut/mind connection. On this site we hear it again and again and I have experienced it. I am a very strong person but it brought me way way down. When the gut is "ill" it can cause emotional distress. Give the medication time to work, hopefully this will take care of it and you will start feeling better soon.
Take Care
NanciT

Ril
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Re: Frustrated

Postby Ril » Wed Dec 28, 2016 9:50 pm

Hang on because for many, myself included, recovery can be a very rocky road so just keep in mind that there will be an end in sight. This illness is incredibly stress provoking and as Nancy said, seems to bring down we usually strong people. It came at one of the worst times in my life but just grit your teeth and plow through! I also was cured after taking one course of vanco after a course of flagyl.
So sorry about your sons. I can't imagine anything much worse. But you will survive this. It will be a good start to 2017.

Rita

amg
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Re: Frustrated

Postby amg » Thu Dec 29, 2016 7:08 pm

Oh sweetie -- I'm so sorry you've been through so much. My daughter has had a relatively "mild" c diff relapsing course (with the exception of her first bout which landed her in the ER), but I can sympathize with you - it's not only the mind-gut connection but it's the uncertainty about how effective the treatment will be, will there be another relapse (my daughter has had 3 relapses 2 Flagyl 1 Vanco), will the D hit when we're out doing stuff like driving or in the middle of a crowded mall. All I can say to you is that the vast vast majority of people are cured relatively soon. This site sees traffic from those who have more trouble, so we're seeing a skewed view her at the forum. You know how to deal with this now, and you've had good initial response from meds up to this point. You WILL beat this, and you WILL feel better. There's still the option of Dificid, too, or a longer taper if you relapse again. But fingers crossed you won't. Hang in there, take things one day at a time, be good to yourself and understand this is NOT you being weak, this is the illness which definitely takes a mental toll regardless of how strong we've been in the past. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

tanya12
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Re: Frustrated

Postby tanya12 » Thu Dec 29, 2016 7:14 pm

Today has been the worst day ever I finished my last Vanco at 2 o'clock. I've had a stomachache around my waist line some nausea reflux had one form stool this morning then When I went again it was formed and then became softer. I totally freaked out. Last night I had steak I had an apple and then I woke up at midnight with pain on my left side had gas and it went away I'm not sure if that's what made me go this morning but my stools been formed pretty much for the past week.
I've been having a lot of gas today my anxiety level is through the roof and I am convinced I am relapsing. My mother walked out of my house because she feels that I am creating a lot of this in my stomach because I am just fixated on it. Don't get me wrong she is very sympathetic but she feels I am making my symptoms 10 times worse
I can't imagine the vanco causing stomach pain and gas at the END of treatment

roy
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Re: Frustrated

Postby roy » Thu Dec 29, 2016 7:51 pm

If I were your mom I would be poking you with a sharp stick!

beth22
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Re: Frustrated

Postby beth22 » Fri Dec 30, 2016 2:44 am

Apples gave me issues, not steak. Everyone is different though.


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