Can less be more?

[okaylo]

Tested negative as of last Friday. Have been trying to put the anxiety of it all out of my mind by seeking professional help and practicing relaxation/positive thinking. I had been resisting the urge to clean for over a week. Last week I had to use a plunger that I used when I was sick, it was cleaned many times but the fear of something being on it was still there. I was crying this morning (several days later) and my mom asked me what was wrong and I showed her the faucet handle and explained. She took her sleeve and wiped the handle and said there's nothing on it you are fine and to calm down.

Anyway, I gave in and cleaned this morning despite my Mom's effort to tell me it was okay. I cleaned the sink, faucet handles, and surrounding counter. My mom came back in the bathroom and said okay what needs to be cleaned and picked up the bottle of bleach bare handed and opened it. I told her don't touch that I don't want you getting sick. She put the bottle down and walked away. She then came back with my bath towels in her hand and said I don't want these in my room abd proceeded to throw my bath towels on my bed after getting frustrated with me and my emotions. I immediately broke down into an outburst because she touched the bleach that I have cleaned my bathroom with and that sits in my cleaning basket that I've had for months. I'm afraid that if there was anything on the bleach bottle that it is now on my bath towels and on my bedding. I tried explaining that to her and she said I'm out of my mind and to stop it. I don't think she realizes how far back she just set me mentally. I did not have a chance to clean the toilet because I ran out of fresh gloves and was already late for work so that has had to wait. I did replace the plunger and throw the old one out for my own peace of mind. It has been on my brain all day to get home and clean that toilet and to wash my towels and bedding. I'm even thinking about the light switches I turned on with my elbow that had originally touched the faucet handle. This has gotten to be too much. I can't throw the towels away because I didn't purchase them and I can't throw my bedding away. My mom said I'm not allowed to wash it because there's no reason to and it's a waste of water. I have a therapy session tonight to talk about things. I'm so worried and wish I wouldn't have brought the cleaning supplies back out because it started another vicious cycle... Tired of over washed cracked hands, the smell of bleach, and the worry of something being contaminated every day of my life. I thought I was making progress but today is a huge setback.

[Ril]

I hope you are taking medication for OCD in addition to talking to your therapist.
Your problems go beyond what we can help you with on this site and you are obviously in pain. You need meds as well as talk therapy. I think this is common sense and not medical advice.

[georgina]

Rita is right , a therapist is not enough , you need more then that , you need to treat with meds (most of us did) otherwise you will drive your mother crazy. Don't be afraid of going to a psychiatrist , and get meds. Belive me , was losing my mind too but ever since i started taking treatment i have my life back , even if it's not the same as before but i have started to accept it the way it is .

[Bobbie]

Agree with Ril.

You are overreacting - like we all have done.

So glad you are seeking help. Kudos to you!