Hello From a New Poster + Guilt/Fear/Oh My!

[KLor]

Hello everyone!

Boy, am I glad this site exists. I'm not happy that anyone is struggling with the beast, but I am glad to know that I'm not alone, and to get some half-decent information about what is happening to my body. Because the docs certainly don't seem to have much of a clue.

I'm a 23yo female who contracted this while on Prilosec in the hospital. Terrible hygiene in the hospital--they made my roommate and I change each other's "hats" on the toilet, and when I complained told me "the gloves are over there, if you're gonna be weird about it." Needless to say, I'm not stepping foot in that hospital again if I can help it one tiny bit.

I was on a Flagyl course for 10 days, didn't work. Then on Vanco 250mg for 10 days. That was starting to work, but I had to go on Macrobid towards the end for a UTI the doctors think I got *from* Vanco. I'm really prone to UTIs, and I think it could have been avoided if I started D-Mannose/tripled my hygiene practices when I started the drug. Unfortunately, when I asked that gastroenterologist about Vanco side effects, he told me to "stop asking questions," and I didn't get a chance to stave it off. Sigh. My faith in healthcare has been shaken over the last few weeks.

Anyway, now I'm on 125mg vanco 4x daily, and my pills run out Friday. I am...cautiously optimistic and also terrified? I am fortunate compared to a lot of people; I had about 2 days of WD, took some kaopectate (yes, *now* I know I shouldn't have), but never got the WD back after that. Still, the anxiety of knowing it *could* return...But, it might not. My BMs sound like what a lot of folk describe during recovery. I'm chanting "3 Day Rule" like a mantra so I don't hyperventilate after each toot. I think I'm getting better. I think I have this beat. And, there are options left if I don't. Still...I'm tired of being scared.

Doubly scared now because I've given c. diff to my father. He went on tetracycline about a week after I was diagnosed, and now is exhibiting WD. I did my best. No one told me how to clean c. diff effectively before this board--I'd been moving the spores around with a Clorox wipe for weeks. No one told me much of anything about how c. diff works. I'm angry that I wasn't empowered to keep myself and my family healthier. I'm guilty to the core that my loved one might suffer next. I didn't try it.

I guess I just wanted to talk to people who get it. My never-had-it support system is getting sick of me, reasonably enough. How are you all dealing with the anxiety? Has anyone else accidentally infected a loved one? How did you handle that?

I'm sorry you've all suffered or are suffering with c. diff. I think we will beat it, even if it takes time. Wishing lots of peace and healing to everyone until then. Thank you for your compassion and patience. That's what makes this support group work.

Take care,
Kaity

[NanciT]

Hello Kaity and Welcome to the site. Please read the first thread for all new posters

Sorry you had to find us and yes, this is often picked up in hospitals. But you mentioned your Dad's exposure, please make sure he gets tested first before any treatment.

You are hopefully on the road to recovery. I would make sure to clean the bathrooms real well with bleach, especially if you are sharing one. There is a great deal of information under CDI on the site.

I have continued taking a probiotic Post CDIFF, I take VSL#3 and you may think about taking one . Florester is another one common on the site. I have found the VSL#3 helps with Post CDIFF IBS.

Take care and let us know how you do and get your Dad checked out too
NanciT

[amyc]

You can order the Clorox health care wipes that have enough bleach to kill C diff spores from Amazon. They make a spray too. Don't feel guilty, you didn't know, and it's possible he doesn't have C diff. Tetracycline isn't a huge offender, so it's possible he's picked up a virus or something else. Hopefully his doctor will order tests for him so he can figure out what is going on.

Order rubber gloves at the same time because the bleach is really hard on your hands. And what the heck hospital were you in? Making patients clean their own toilet hats? Those things should not be shared among patients! I would call the county health department or look for contact information for the Joint Commission that grants hospital accreditation. And yeah, never go back to that hospital!

Finally, make sure any urine is sent out for culture to see what organism is growing to get the best antibiotic. Cdiff can cause bladder irritation that acts like an infection when no actual infection is present.

[AllisS]

Kaity, here is a link to the page where patients can file complaints about healthcare facilities with the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Hospitals Organization (JCAHO) that Amy was referring to:

https://www.jointcommission.org/report_a_complaint.aspx

[georgina]

Hi Klor
So sorry you are dealing with Cdiff. Hopefully this vanco round will do the trick but you have to know that the recovery after this is a long hard road so even if treatment was successful you might still have some upsetting symptoms for awhile.Are you taking probiotics? Try not to let the fear and anxiety overwhelm you , think positive , you are young and otherwise healthy and you will beat this. I am one of the long term sufferers of Cdiff , unfortunately I'm still not cured but at least I don't live in fear anymore , I'm dealing with anxiety with meds and I try to keep myself as busy as possible , I go to work , got a dog , I'm going out as much as possible , doing anything that I can to keep my sanity.
About your dad , you have to make sure that he is actually having Cdiff and it's not antibiotic associated diarrhea , get him tested and don't feel guilty because you don't know for sure if he got this from you or he had other source of infection , these days Cdiff is everywhere , nobody can hide from it.

[Bobbie]

Dump the guilt. You did not cause this to happen. Your medical,care sounds atrocious. As the other moderators said, your father might not have c diff.

Sounds as though you gave yourself a crash course on c diff. Glad this site was helpful.

Hang in there. "This, too, shall pass."

[KLor]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. You're right, he gave his lab sample today--we don't know yet if it's c. diff or not. Fingers firmly crossed that it is not. I have launched a formal complaint about the hospital I was in and the "no answers for you" doctor. That felt empowering, and nobody should have to deal with either form of atrocious care beyond me. My house is *well* bleached now, believe me! I should have thought about the rubber gloves sooner, though...I'm sporting a lovely case of lizard hands right now :p

My optimism is growing, and this site helps. Thank you all.

Oh, and specifically to AmyC--my urine was cultured, I learned from this site to insist on it! I'm glad to have a lot more antibiotic savvy now.