Just have to say this to people that understand!

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WestMass
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Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2016 12:54 pm

Just have to say this to people that understand!

Postby WestMass » Sun Sep 25, 2016 8:18 pm

I am SO PARANOID!! I just finished my last dose of Vanco Friday morning. I did ten days of Flagyl, relapsed after 2-3 weeks and was put on ten days of Vanco. I felt GREAT the last few days on the Vanco. Better than I ever felt on the Flagyl or even after the Flagyl. I'm still "going" 2-3 times a day, but everything appears normal. Every tummy grumble, every cramp, every time I have an extra bowel movement, I am almost brought to tears with fear that this is coming back. I've already lost 15 pounds from my already skinny body. I'm on the verge of losing my job because I've missed so much time. I also do contract work as a photographer, so if I don't work I don't get paid! The stress this has put on my family (two young children) and me is ridiculous.

Does this paranoia ever pass? I keep second guessing the amount of Vanco my dr put me on. I wonder why she didn't do a taper etc etc. I had no idea this disease could be so emotionally taxing. MY heart goes out to everyone that has suffered from this for a long time. I'm trying so hard to be appreciative of the good days I'm having and not worry about the what ifs.

NanciT
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Posts: 3035
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 12:01 pm

Re: Just have to say this to people that understand!

Postby NanciT » Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:48 pm

Hello Westmass

I am sorry you are going through this, it does sound like you are IN recovery!! Which is very good news!! But it takes time for everything to get back to "normal" and the mental/emotional part of CDIFF can be terrible. It honestly takes time, hopefully each day you will feel stronger and know that in time CDIFF will be a thing of the past.
Take Care
NanciT

Ril
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Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2012 2:45 pm

Re: Just have to say this to people that understand!

Postby Ril » Mon Sep 26, 2016 2:37 am

Hello Westmass. You are feeling is what we have all gone through. This disease makes us all very anxious that we will relapse. But I agree with NanciT that it sounds as though you are in recovery. You probably are one of the 70-80% of the people who are cured with the first 1 or 2 rounds of medication.

So try to feel more positive and realize that it takes most people a while to get back to normal after c diff. If you read the other posts, you will see that there are still other GI symptoms during recovery and suggestions about ways to help deal with them.also read the subjects under the CDI section on this board.

Best of luck
Rita

Lisa33
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Re: Just have to say this to people that understand!

Postby Lisa33 » Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:39 am

Hi Westmass - Everything you are feeling is completely normal. We've all been in your shoes and can remember the anxiety that you are feeling after you take that last pill. It really is just a wait and see period now. With each passing day, the risk of relapse decreases. As time goes by, you will see that the anxiety does get better. BM's will be all over the place for a while. That is totally normal. If you have some bad days, that is also totally normal. See 3 Day Rule for IBS under CDI Info all you need to know. It's a good gage to tell the difference between IBS and a relapse. Sometimes, it can be quite hard to tell the difference though. I actually retested once during a bad bout of IBS.

Try not to worry if you were given enough vanco or if you should have done a taper. I was cured by a 14 day course of vanco after Flagyl failed. I did not need to taper. So hopefully you are in the majority like myself. The goal is to take the least amount/round of meds to cure this beast. The meds also take a toll on your body, and the real healing starts after you finish them. Try to stay positive, keep busy and before you know it, a month will go by, then another month, etc.

Lisa

georgina
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Re: Just have to say this to people that understand!

Postby georgina » Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:59 am

Westmass
We all know exactly how you feel. Cdiff is one wierd disease , it affects you both physically and mentally. For me it was the worst! When Cdiff started i was already treated for pulmonary TB and i was a month away from my wedding so you can imagine that it was really bad timing. When i had my wedding is was a week in recovery and was feeling very weak had a bloated tummy , tons of gas and my guts were gurgling no stop , i was terrified that Cdiff would come back on my big day but it didn't , i never felt so much fear in my life. At the beginning everything scared me , just like it scares you but now after a year and a half of battling with this beast i have learned to accept what is happening to me . Even now after so much treatment i don't feel good , i have D every single morning but feel fine the rest of the day so i am thankful for that . Unless you are having full blown symptoms don't panic , recovery after Cdiff is a long and hard road but time eventually will heal you.

kandr
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Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2016 9:03 pm

Re: Just have to say this to people that understand!

Postby kandr » Mon Sep 26, 2016 7:30 pm

I am going through same thing right now. 4 days off Vanco, not feeling good Pain is back. Very worried about my jobs. I am trying to stay Calm.Thank you to everyone for all your help!


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