Since this is a place to vent, I decided to go for it

[Ismaila]

Hi,

As some of of you know, I am in my third month battling the beast. Like so many others, got if from Clindamycin + Amoxicillin next to each other (one was not enough, right?).
The story is pretty much typical: 10 days of Flagyl, symptoms came back withing a week, ended up in ER, put on long regimen of Vanco, and today started tapering for 10 days (2 pills a day). Last week came down with severe UTI , visited both of my doctors ( GI who has no bed manners, and & Internist whom I love), extensive urine culture & sensitivity ordered , and that took almost 6 days. These six days ( and nights) I was in agony. I have been prone to pretty bad UTIs my whole life, no stranger to it at all; but this kind of pain I have never experienced before. There were moments when I was on my knees, sobbing loudly, wanting to die. The pain was much worse toward the night for some reason. The peeing was worse than when I gave birth to my now adult son ( I am 54). I come originally from south-east European country, and I went through some unimaginable things that most of Americans ( ergo, most of you on the Forum), never experienced. But, I can freely say that this past week came very close to those horrors.

Before the test was finished neither of my docs ( they worked on this together), did not want to give antibiotic. So I was given 2 pain medications: Pyridium & Vicodin. They did not work. Pretty scary, right? I was drinking tons of water, because I could not tolerate any cranberry , or anything else, for that matter. Strangely, Aleve eased my suffering a little, and heating pads. But nights were still nightmares. All this time I still take Sacch. bulardii, VSL#3, and added Jarrow's Fem Dophilus.

The verdict came yesterday afternoon: E. Colli.They were afraid that it might be caused by something more complicated, but not, thank God. Nitrofurantoin/Macrobid prescribed ( apparently one the least offending for C Diff), 2 pills of 100 mg a day, for 10 days. First one I took last night, and it had no effect at all. Fell asleep around 2 a.m. , I think because of exhaustion. I also noticed for this last week that my body at some point does some kind of natural trick by itself, and pain simply subsides just about when I am ready to commit a suicide. I guess that is how our bodies work.

At this point I do not even weigh myself any longer, but It is not necessary: I look horrible and sickly thin, pale like death, barely able to move around the house, let alone anything else. Huge black circles around my eyes. I have not worked , on and off, for about a whole month. I exhausted all my sick leave, and barely have any annual left. Thinking about requesting A Family Leave ( unpaid), at least for a month. I work for the Federal Government, so that is a possibility. Lucky enough that I have a husband who makes decent money ( but I would not bet my life on him supporting me indefinitely - that is another story though).

Lastly: I am trying not to dread the end of Vanco. But, it is very hard not to. At this point it looks as if C Diff is gone - but I swear, every time I have a positive thought, it turns for the worse. So, I will just try to let go. Whatever happens is I what I think at this moment. I simply have no strength and courage and positivity in me any longer. I do not know where to find it.

This Forum has been a great help and a sanctuary; it also , at moments , looked like everything will be doom and gloom forever. People, like me right now, write when they are in distress and without hope. I tried to go and read from Success Stories again and again, which would give me hope. I also found a friend here with whom I go back and forth with PMs, and that has been very comforting.

Thank you Bobbie, Beth, Allison, Roy, Nancy, Lisa...I apologize if I forgot some of the great moderators here. I will try to stay away from the site a little, just to rest my ruminating mind. But, please, do not mind me if I came back and ask for some comforting words again. God bless you all, and I wish everyone speedy and full recovery.

Ismaila

[NanciT]

Ismaila,

I am so sorry for the terrible suffering you have endured during this UTI, I understand it as I was there a few times while on Vanco and DIficid. Having this type of pain while going through CDIFF does make one lose hope, but understand you will clear the infection, finish the Vanco and hopefully be on your way to recovery. The Ecoli is a common infection and one that can be cured with the medication you are now on and is a low offender many on the board have taken. I will also add during my experience, I started taking D Mannose which targets the ecoli. I have continued to take to this day.
Time and time again we see people reach this point, and always know we are here to listen and support.
I want to assure you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once you have been on the antibiotic 48 hours you should see some relief. The next step is to complete the Vanco and as you do most start feeling much better. As we know it takes time but you will start having good days, one after the other and soon this will be the past.
Many take a break from the Board, we all understand there comes a time when you need to focus on yourself and work through this. Be good to yourself, try some relaxation music, a funny movie....take care of you.
You will recover and we all end up so much stronger than we started this. Take good care....
NanciT

[georgina]

Sorry you are suffering Ismaila.I wish i had power to make it all go away.I know how it's like to have to take another antibiotic on top of the Cdiff treatment.I had to take six months of TB treatment and took vanco along with it to help control symptomes.You are strong , you will overcome this UTI and CDiff and you be ok.I hope that when you come back to post on the site , you will post in success stories.I'll keep you in my prayers!
Feel better

[tessa63]

Ismaila

I am also so sorry you are dealing with the UTI issues along w/ C diff. I can also relate to the dark places that C diff can take you too. I really thought I was having a nervous breakdown this week at the thought of C diff coming back. Are you on any anti anxiety meds? I never was before C diff but I taking a small dose to sleep and help me think rationally the next day. This disease takes so much out of us and no one can really understand how bad it is. I also look like a skeleton at this point and if anything have even lost a few more pounds in the last week. Its a horrible place to be, but you and all of us will learn to appreciate life more when our health is stable. Please make sure you are seeing doctors esp. an infectious disease doctor that is on the cutting edge of new studies etc. It makes a world of difference. Sending lots of love, hugs and thoughts your way!!!!

T

[Lisa33]

Ismaila - You will get through all of this! It may be very discouraging and depressing right now, but this will all be behind you eventually. There are many on this site who went through exactly what you went through battling UTI's and C-diff at the same time. Nanci is one who can tell you first hand from experience, that you will feel better. I bet once the UTI is under control, you will start to feel more positive and be able to get your emotional strength back to get through recovery. And, I can totally understand the need to take a break from this site. You need to focus on your recovery. I do look forward to hearing back from you when you are feeling better though. I always welcome positive news on here! :-) Take care of yourself and feel better!

Hugs,
Lisa