I hate c diff

[TowerL]

I have become so numb at this point as c diff continues to rob moments of my life. I met a nice man recently who wanted to date me despite my c diff. I am 28 years old and my went through a breakup during my first battle. My teeth continue to causes problems and I'm on my third relapse. I am on vanco and probiotics and thought it would get better. I have been extra careful with washing hands to the point of getting cracked hands.I have also battles several colds and so far it hasn't gotten worse.

Feeling better, I went out with this man again. I was so happy and the I got home to discover a boil in a very sensitive area. I'm already going to the dermatologist Monday for this chest acne that does not go away. I am seriously hoping it's not staph but not I have another area to worry about. I also have tests results pending on yeast and UTI.


Quite frankly I stopped crying weeks ago. What should have been a great evening is ruined by another possible complication. Just when I accept the c diff diagnosis something else happens. I'm tired.

[Bobbie]

C diff and its complications have "messed" many of us up. My first bout was in1993. My son had it in 1975. Too many years of sickness and worry, My tears dried up years ago.

Glad you have an appointment with a Derm. Mon. Maybe it is not staph or if it is, it can be resolved quickly.

Do not blame you for being tired. We all are.BUT do not forget the good days; more will come.

Let us know what happens. We "feel" for you. It is. Not your fault you developed c diff. Shit happens - literally.

I probably should not recommend this, but I would have a small glass of wine -might mix it half and half with water -and go to bed. My GI said wine in moderation is OK but only if you are not horribly ill and with active c diff. Toast yourself that you have survived all this!

[NanciT]

I really like what Bobbie said" Good days will come". Sometimes its so hard to keep that thought in mind, but they will.
You will overcome this, and come out of it a much stronger person with a great deal of knowledge.
It's very difficult not to let it get you down, that's why we are here to hopefully let you know these days will pass, you will beat this illness and reclaim your health. One night I was feeling really good and I remember thinking" I am so grateful for feeling so well". I had never had that thought, but I appreciate my health now more than ever. CDIFF is a horrible illness that took me to a low I had never seen or felt, but I beat it and you will too.
Sending positive thoughts you way!! Feel better soon
NanciT

[beth22]

I remember getting those once in a while when I was younger. I don't know if they were staph or what, but they went away. Try a warm sitz bath to see if it will just pop on its own. The dermatologist can probably give you an ointment to use on it. I never had to take antibiotics for any of them. I think hormonal fluctuations may have some bearing on those. Hormones can contribute to acne too.

[TowerL]

Thank you everyone. I'm just so tired of the constant worrying. I honestly think trying to live a normal
Life with c diff makes it so much harder. There's so much prep that I have to put in into something as simple as going to dinner or going to work. With my third positive we have been bleaching like crazy. I use paper towels to dry myself and gloves to bathe. We bleach wipe the stairs by hand with the special c diff germicidal wipes. I'm even afraid of dropping things on the floor now.

I also fear contaminating others and even hugging has begun to worry me. It's beginning to take a toll on me emotionally. Since learning I'm nap1 positive my family has become even more worried. Still not allowed to touch anything in the kitchen or doors. My mom has become my caretaker and now if I were to have staph I would have to be even more careful. I'm praying to make it February 19th when I can finally take fmla. I don't want to lose my job; c diff is expensive enough as it is and were already dipping into savings. My mom wants to sell the house when I'm better. She hates it now.

My last hope after this is Mayo. I've heard besides doing FMTs they also look at the whole patient (since I have had so many issues). Just hoping my mind can make it. It's getting harder and harder to just get up knowing all the rings I have to do and avoid each day.

Finally I did not want to date with c diff, and although this man is wonderful I feel like I am cheating him out of fun. I can't eat normally do restaurants are repetitive, and I don't want to risk intimacy in the future. I've tried to end it but he stays. It was enough with he c diff, with these boils and acne I'm sure he will run!

In summary I hate c diff. I don't understand why more hasn't been done to cure it.

[Jackie25]

I'm so sorry your having a hard time :/ venting is good for you, and we're all hear to listen! While I don't have much experience staph/boils and things like that, I am praying for you. In my opinion, the best medicine one can receive.

It is hard in the beginning to go about your daily life and just feel normal. And although it may be hard to believe right now, it does get better.

C diff sucks. It's a shitty situation that no one should ever have to deal with. More should be done to prevent this horrible illness and to spread awareness about it. I had never even heard of it until I was told I was positive for it! One thing my husband told me from the beginning of my illness-it could always be worse. Of course I despised him at first for even saying that to me lol! But it is true. This really is a bump in the road of what is your life- you will one day look back on this and realize you are a stronger person when it's all said and done and you are well. The human body is a remarkable mechanism, you will get through this :)

I'm an avid worrier, always have been. So c diff caused me a lot of distress not only physically but emotionally as well. One saying that has always helped me, not sure if it will you but you never know. "There are many emotions that are each mentioned hundreds of times throughout the Bible that God would like us to explore and feel- worry and fear is not some of them" these are things He never intended us to take on.

Jeremiah 17:14
Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; Save me, and I shall be saved, For You are my praise.
Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

[Bobbie]

Tower,
Several posters on this site had good luck at Mayo.Go for it.

Hugging is less contagious than shaking hands. I would hug this new guy - a lot. He sounds like a keeper.

Phone Mayo tomorrow and find out the particulars about being a patient there.

[TowerL]

Thanks Bobbie! I already have an appointment next month. I made it when I was having trouble getting any answers. Hoping I don't need it but I am keeping it just in case. I'm so tired of the prep and don't want to be a carrier.

As for the guy I did hug him. It's nice not everyone is afraid of me. I just want to be a normal 28 year old. I'm turning 29 in two months and just hate thinking I will have to live like a hermit any longer.

Jackie, thank you for the prayers. I teared up reading your post. Being religious, I have wrestled with the why ever since I was diagnosed the third time. It has tested our faith completely. I will remind myself Jeremiah 17:14. I was always an avid worrier too. This has pushed that worrying to the extreme.

Thank you everyone. I still have days where it's hard to function. I still worry about other people. For those of you with husbands I don't know how you do it. It's very hard to care for someone and be afraid of contaminating them.

[georgina]

Hi TowerL
You just need a little more courage and maybe you will kiss him too!! He sounds like a great guy , but if i were you i would not talk Cdiff and poop with him for the time beeing.Almost all CDiff-ers tend to talk poop with everybody , i don't know why. About going to Mayo i say do it, you need to be treated by experts and you need that FMT to be a success.Hopefully Mayo will be the answer to all of your prayers.Good luck , i'll be praying that all goes well!

[beth22]

If your boil doesn't get better on its own, then go see the gyn. He can probably lance it if it is big and drain it. You definitely don't want to risk taking antibiotics.

[sevla]

Hi Tower,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I know very well what you are going through.
I want to summarize my story to you and hopefully give you some hope. I moved to the US 5.5 years ago and had a few boils since I moved here - mostly on legs - I believe ingrown hairs. Silly me did not know jow to cure them naturally and also did not think of effects of antibiotics (and never was given the chance ti lance and drain those - just given antibiotics). I never had this problem back in Europe (where I am from). I am 37 years old.

Last April (wow, it has been that long), I had a bad boil on neck which I messed up by trying to squeeze it. Anyways, I ended up in the ER and stayed 3 days in the hospital waiting yo see if it was MRSA. It came back negative for it and I was sent home. 4 days later I was back to the ER, this time with cdiff - I must have ingested spores while in hospital.

It took me 4 months to get rid of it (relapsed after vanco and Dificid). I am now 5 months post FMT. I had many ups and downs during recovery and still have IBS. The most difficult part of the recovery has not even been my stools or BMs, it has been my skin. After cdiff my skin became a mess. I got to learn that the skin health os a reflection of the gut. So acne can both be caused by hormones and also gut issues. I got acne along jaw line now (did not have before cdiff). My Integrative Medicine doctor did a hormone test and I am estrogen dominant, which can cause acne. So now I have a progesterone cream I am supposed to rub on legs daily. Still have not started (started a lower dosage without effect, and now he put me ok stronger dosage).

I had already a few red bumps/boils thay scared me since cdiff. I do actually believe that I avoided antibiotics twice by doing the following: washing it with hibiclens, putting tea tree oil on it and then putting a bandaid on it with prid (a drawing salve you can get ar Wallgreens or Amazon). I even did it in a sensitive area as well. I also take daily a turmeric supplement as it's supposed to help with infections and help the body fight these things better.

I worry daily about my skin - because of acne, red bumps that suddenly show on random parts of body (and send me spinning if they show up on neck), and because of eczema (which got so bad after cdiff - another reflection of gut issues). I have learned to take deep breaths and try to relax and take care of skin daily. It's all consuming, but for now, it's all we can do.

As for UTI, keep drinking lots of water and drink Dmannose as prevention. You should not fear intimacy, just make sure good hygiene is practiced. You have to enjoy lofe though!!

I hope this helps a little. Stay strong!

[TowerL]

Thank you so much everyone!

Some good news, I tested negative for yeast and the acne is vanco related.

Have been trying the suggestions for the boil. So far hurts quite a bit and the area is inflamed but hopeful it will go away. The dermatologist prescribed an antibiotic ointment (not clindamycin) but I am waiting to talk to my ID doctor before using.

Finishing vanco treatment and have appointment on Friday with ID doctor. The last week on vanco has been awful for my stomach. Lots of gas and discomfort. Praying C diff is gone. I assume next step is FMT if I test positive again.

[TowerL]

A note for anyone with boils. ID checked and it has gone away. He said he was glad I did t use the antibiotic ointment as it would have been an uneccesary risk. As long as it drains and once doesn't squeeze all should be good.

Also he shares the opinion I have heard on the forum. After this last dose of vanco no more testing unless D returns. Solid can still test positive after treatment. He further said contagiousness comes from D. He believes my body is expelling the toxins. He has told me to resume all normal activities

[Bobbie]

Good news, Tower.

[TowerL]

Hello everyone! Been several days since post. Boil is gone and eczema had just become normal to me now. I finally ate pizza and chocolate chip cookies. Grease and chocolate cake seems to increase my bowel movements and gas. Bowel movements have gotten a little more frequent after vanco. 3 times as opposed to 2 or 1. I am thinking of canceling my appointment at mayo or postponing. It's more about the days off from work.

So far battles the cold, boils, acne all over my chest and the painful jaw/teeth issue that led me to c diff in the first place. There's been a bronchitis outbreak in my office and now the flu is going around. Having c diff in the winter is quite hard.

Hardest part of recovery is the fear of catching a disease including c diff and needing antibiotics. Financially c diff has started taking a toll.