small town life

[tonia]

Small town life combined with c diff is just a nightmare. Was SUPPOSED to start dificid tonight. The pharmacy decided not to order it because it showed a $1500 copay, which is incorrect. Instead of calling me and telling me, they did nothing. Hubby went up and raised h&ll and it will be ordered in the morning. All they needed to do was call my insurance and they would do an over ride. Also, the lab doing the test on my husband to find out if he is a carrier, ran the test at 6:30 a.m. (i know this because they called with a question) but didnt bother to fax the results until doc was already gone for the day. Feeling so much frustration it is giving me chest pain. I want this nightmare to be over, FOR ALL OF US. I just want to feel peaceful and happy again. Right now it feels if that will never happen. Sorry for the woe is me, but it is how i feel right now.

[NanciT]

Tonia

I hear your frustration and completely understand it. It's not just in a small town, None of the pharmacies around me carry Dificid, it always had to be ordered. Usually they get in one day, sometimes two. But it can be so upsetting when you are feeling so ill and just want your medication.
Its very difficult to deal with CDIFF and when you put all the frustrations on top of it, its just plain difficult!!

There are many of us here to listen and understand. It may take some time but you will get better.

Hang in there and hope the medication comes in for you tomorrow, keep us updated

[Lisa33]

Tonia - I am so sorry you are going through such a terrible time. I wish there was something we could say or do to take away this nightmare. All I can say is that at some day in the near future, you will be able to say that you are in recovery and this will all be in the past. It will happen. I will pray that it happens sooner rather than later, as you have been through enough. You are a strong woman, and this ordeal will make you even stronger. I don't live in a small town, and my pharmacy had to order vanco for me. It took a couple of days to come in, which feels like an eternity for someone suffering from c-diff.

Hang in there Tonia, and vent away whenever you need to!
Lisa

[Bobbie]

Tonia,
I felt awful for months after FMT - culture negative - IBS. Took several months to feel better. Hang on. We are with you. What a crummy disease!!!!!!

Thinking of you.

[tonia]

Thanks Nanci, Lisa and Bobbi. I finally managed to get the dificid and with a $0 copay. I am not feeling very well on it, but just have to get through it until tuesday and then stop for the FMT.

My husbands stool test was rejected by the local lab for being too solid. So now, when i go for my procedure on thursday, we are to take his sample as well as one from each of my sons, to Indy with us and they will test it there. As much as i hate poop, i dont want 3 containers with us in the car in a cooler, but it must be done....will be throwing the cooler away at the hospital *shiver*.

To add to the stress, we just discovered last night that we have a busted water pipe in our yard. Freaking out as i have been drinking the tap water and dont know how long it has been broken. Called a plumber this morning, he said as long as we have no loss of pressure the water should be fine but it is gonna be at least $1600. We just dont have it right now due to all the cost of having c diff. They offer financing so hopefully we can get that. Just dont know when to have them fix it as they will be shutting the water off for the day and having no water during active infection will be a VERY BAD THING.

Its no wonder i feel on the verge of a heart attack every day. Like Sevla said in a post...when it rains, it pours and right now i feel like i am standing in a hurricane. I will be honest and say i have always held strong to my faith, but i have been questioning God lately...feel a bit guilty about that.

[Ashley20]

Tonia, i know how hard it is to not feel overwhelmed and frustrated. But God loves us and cares deeply about all of us, he would never test us with something bad and as awful as cdiff is...the bible says God does not test us with bad things because he is love. Since the beginning he has a purpose for mankind to live in paradise in perfect conditions and his promise still stands, the bible is not just a book written by men..its Gods word to us and his plans for a better future. Please don't lose your faith, struggles and disappointment are a part of this bad system of things but this was not Gods purpose for mankind...that's why he sacrificed his son to die for us so that we may have a second chance to life...a true meaningful life here on earth when he brings his kingdom...despite all the stress and awful things that happen while we wait for God to intervene we must stay hopeful and pray to him to give us strength and faith. Sending you a big ((((((hug)))))

[Lisa33]

Tonia, you are going through so much, so it's completely normal to have these thoughts and emotions. After this FMT, as soon as you are feeling a bit better, you need to get away from this c-diff routine, even for just a little while. You and your family need to do something fun together and really get your mind away from it all. I think having some fun can go a long way, even if it's just for a bit. Your mind needs a break.

Sending you well wishes.
Lisa