Returning to work tomorrow

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notheidi
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Returning to work tomorrow

Postby notheidi » Sun Jul 05, 2015 10:40 pm

I would love to hear from anyone else here who works in healthcare and/or can appreciate how I am feeling...Going back to work tomorrow but having trouble wrapping my brain around it due to having gotten c diff *from* work.

Going to bring my own latex gloves (I'm in mental health so we don't usually have to glove up) and c diff wipes.

It's just hard. It's the whole 'invisible enemy' thing that drives me bonkers.

I have 3 more days of vanco left, so I have the increasing anxiety of wondering if I will remain well when I stop. I missed one dose by accident but otherwise I have taken all. I am telling myself that it was just a freak occurrence that I got it again and it's unlikely to happen again. I am, admittedly, scared.

Hate this [expletive!] illness.

On the happy news front, I am well enough to be going back. Can eat many foods right now, and was able to make it through almost all of my horseback riding lesson yesterday. That is my favorite thing in all the world to do. Will continue to work on getting my physical and mental strength back.

Sending hugs and well wishes to everyone!
2010 mod/sev w/leukocytosis, cefdenir-sinus inf, metro rx'd wrong, resurged during tx. recovered w/dose change, lost 40 lbs. 2015 mod recur fr SNF, no abx, resolved w/vanco. 7/2022 mod recur, community acq, no abx, intermittent prodrome but didn't realize

beth22
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby beth22 » Mon Jul 06, 2015 1:23 am

I worked all through my c diff except summers, as I teach and have them off. One of my worst relapses was in July, so that worked out because I would probably not have been able to work right away after that one. Although school is not health care, I have visited my mother for the last few years in a nursing facility. When she was in one in 2006 - 2007 that is where I got my c diff originally. Then she was at home for almost 5 years and I did not worry, but now since 2012 I have been going. It worries me too, but I have no choice but to go. There is no one else here.

I think now that you know what you are up against, you will take the precautions. Wash your hands well before eating especially and throughout the day. Even at school, I wash my hands after every class because I handle board markers and erasers, touch the computer that others use, the door handle to enter and leave my classroom that all the kids with colds touch on their way in and out too. You just have to get into the habit. If you are in mental health, at least you don't have to worry about changing bed linen, diapers, etc. I'm sure it will be fine. Work kept me sane. Maybe the distraction will help you get your mind off the c diff a little too. Good luck on your first day back!

Lisa33
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby Lisa33 » Mon Jul 06, 2015 8:14 am

It is great to get back into the swing of things as soon as it's possible because the longer you are out of your routine, the harder it is to get back into. I think it's a great thing to go back to work, and I wish you the best on your first day back. Just take the extra precautions and hand washing and you will be just fine. Now that you are more aware of c-diff and know what to do to prevent it, the chances of getting it again are probably much less.

I wish you much luck and continued health,
Lisa

Jackie25
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby Jackie25 » Mon Jul 06, 2015 9:11 am

I understand your fear and worry, we all do. But on a positive note, you are well enough to return to work :) you've made progress so that is a blessing! As the others said, your more aware of the "invisible beast" and will now take extra precautions washing your hands and stayin as clean as possible. Don't forget that coming of the vanco you may have some off moments and days, I often forget this. But as long as you overall feel okay and no copious amounts of WD you are probably fine. I hope you have a wonderful day and continue to heal and see improvment and progress in your healing.

notheidi
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby notheidi » Tue Jul 07, 2015 1:19 am

Jackie, Beth, and Lisa,

Thank you for your kind words! It helps to know I am understood.

I felt empowered wearing my gloves as that prevents any wayward spores from getting on my hands in the first place. Plus it reminds me not to touch my face accidentally. I put them on before I even set foot in the facility. I change them after I go to the bathroom and after I leave a patient room. Maybe after a while I won't need them psychologically in this way, but for now they make me feel better. I think it's important to know and do what I can do. I was aware of what to do to prevent this infection before but I still got it again, so I feel that more steps are needed--even if I do get some weird looks. Wearing gloves has the added benefit of that people don't want to shake my hand. I like that right now!!! :P

I dropped one of my vanco into the bathroom sink today which freaked me out but I just washed it right off and took it. Thankfully I cleaned the bathroom sink just yesterday.
2010 mod/sev w/leukocytosis, cefdenir-sinus inf, metro rx'd wrong, resurged during tx. recovered w/dose change, lost 40 lbs. 2015 mod recur fr SNF, no abx, resolved w/vanco. 7/2022 mod recur, community acq, no abx, intermittent prodrome but didn't realize

beth22
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby beth22 » Tue Jul 07, 2015 1:51 am

Glad you are able to go back to work. I know how you feel. In May 2014 I got whooping cough from one of my students at school and during the whole next school year Sept. - June I was really wary of anyone with even a slight cough. C diff was bad enough, but I really thought my husband was going to find me dead on the floor when I had the whooping cough. I couldn't breathe and felt as if I was going to pass out.

Keep those gloves on and do whatever you need to do to feel more secure. Let people look if they want to. During the winter season most all the patients at my mom's skilled nursing facility came down with some virus with runny nose and flu. Most of the caretakers wore masks and you can bet that I did too when I visited her. You need to do what you need to do.

Bobbie
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby Bobbie » Tue Jul 07, 2015 3:38 am

I worked most of the time during my first two bouts of c diff, and altho it was difficult at times, I was happier than during my last bout when I was retired and thought about c diff less.

Wear your gloves and do anything else that makes you feel better. My "thing" is not using anyone else's pen. I carry a supply of own. We all need a teddy bear at times.

A number of health care workers who posted on this site could not return to work after c diff, I am glad you can.

Let us know how it goes. I bet after the first couole of hours you will almost forget about cdiff.

You are right about "the invisible enemy." It is one of the things that makes cdiff so horrible. The thought of "spores" is terrifying. We used to call c diff "the beast." Not a bad description.

notheidi
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby notheidi » Wed Jul 08, 2015 2:01 am

Hi Bobbie,

Yeah, they really could make a horror movie called The Spore.

Did the healthcare workers get medically advised not to return, or were they unable to psychologically? I can absolutely understand both! If I felt I had a better option, honestly I probably would not have gone back. I don't want to be exposed to c diff daily and thinking about preventing it daily. I just don't.

Thank you for the reminder about teddy bears. I will have to get one.

I didn't forget about it after a few hours because I am always touching things at the nurse's stations, charts, etc. Disinfecting my things and then re-disinfecting things. My hands are dry from washing them so often. Also I go to many facilities, so I never quite know what I'm walking into (i.e. is this a place where I need to be less worried, or more?) so I treat them all like the more's.

I did wear my gloves, and at one of the nursing facilities, the supervisor told me I can't wear my gloves in the hallway because it's against their infection control policy: 'I have no way to know if they're clean.' [Now this is ridiculous as I don't touch any patients. That's like telling me I can't wear my hands in the hallway!] I was so upset I felt like crying. Hopefully other facilities will not be that dumb about it.

I don't want to work in acute care or sub-acute care where I have to think about this every day. Circumstances in my life right now are such that I don't feel that I can make an immediate change, but it will be something I'm going to look at in the future.

I really like my job. At the same time, I work with some very sick people and I'm struggling with seeing that level of illness day in and day out. It's starting to creep me out. I never have gotten down or creeped out by my patients' illnesses in 11 years of working in my field, but it is happening now. I feel like every day is a treatise of all the myriad ways the human body can go wrong.

I will return to my CBT methods: 'Is there any evidence that I have c diff now?' No. 'Is there any current evidence that suggests I won't recover this time?' No. 'Is there any evidence that suggests that I won't recover even if I do relapse?' No.

Am I still scared? YES!!!

I took my last vanco today. Yaaaay! and streeeeesss.
2010 mod/sev w/leukocytosis, cefdenir-sinus inf, metro rx'd wrong, resurged during tx. recovered w/dose change, lost 40 lbs. 2015 mod recur fr SNF, no abx, resolved w/vanco. 7/2022 mod recur, community acq, no abx, intermittent prodrome but didn't realize

beth22
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby beth22 » Wed Jul 08, 2015 2:09 am

I really think that in another year or two, they will come out with some of these other treatments for c diff that are not antibiotic based - maybe the ecobiotics they are testing like SER109. Then, hopefully, we can all relax a little and you won't feel the same way about walking into the unknown at these facilities. I understand how you feel. I feel the same way. When I visit my mom at the facility where she is, I am very careful to always wash my hands before I leave.

Jackie25
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby Jackie25 » Wed Jul 08, 2015 11:12 pm

Just today I had a follow up doctors appointment and I was leary the entire time. From the moment I walked into the hospital, riding the elevator, signing in at the front desk, waiting, etc. Before c diff I wouldn't think twice about being around other sick people, breathing the same air, or touching the same things. But now- I'm terrified to say the least. My hands look like an alligator from washing them so much every single day. Working in the medical field must wreck havoc on you, but good for you for braving it out and getting back to work. I salute you for that! And I agree with the others, if wearing your gloves gives you peace of mind then you go girl!

Congrats on your last vanco! I know it's stressful to be off medication now and in the "unknown". Don't forget recovery will be up and down for some in various ways. It was for me. And unfortunately healing is not an over night thing when it comes to c diff- it takes time but you will get there :) I'm sure you already know all this. But if your like me, full of anxiety when it comes to this beast, then it's just nice to be reminded and reassured :) I hope you continue to heal and your anxiety about work lessens :) God bless!

notheidi
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Re: Returning to work tomorrow

Postby notheidi » Fri Jul 10, 2015 12:50 am

Hi Jackie,

Thank you! Yes, it is so nice to be reminded.

I am like that at the doctor's office too. And at work...even worse. I started clorox-ing the outside of the patient health record charts! Because they're touched by everybody. They're kept in binders.

I saw a nurse today eating pork rinds while she was documenting in a chart, going back and forth from chart to rind. Eeeeek.

Surprisingly, clorox c diff wipes doesn't ruin my ipad case or my ipad screen itself.

I wonder if I'm going to get like The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing His Hands.
2010 mod/sev w/leukocytosis, cefdenir-sinus inf, metro rx'd wrong, resurged during tx. recovered w/dose change, lost 40 lbs. 2015 mod recur fr SNF, no abx, resolved w/vanco. 7/2022 mod recur, community acq, no abx, intermittent prodrome but didn't realize


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