Why me?!

[rbouska]

So I just came back from spending the day in emergency and I can't believe it's happening again. I have been cdiff free since December 2013 after contracting the illness through the 'community' i.e. unexplained. Since then I have had a couple scares but luckily no confirmed relapses. I'm a 36 year old otherwise healthy woman (my birthday is this week) with a 9 year old daughter and a loving fiancé.

On Wednesday night last week I started getting D but thought it was from something I ate. I woke up on Thursday with horrible cramps and ended up having to run to the washroom at work about 10 times. It continued through the night when I noticed the awful smell and yellow colour had begun. Friday it got so bad that I ended up leaving work and basically living in the bathroom the rest of the day/night. It finally got so bad this morning that I went to the nearest emergency and getting an IV drip and Buscopan for the pain. I had blood work done and gave a stool sample but the doctor said by all accounts it is cdiff again. I got in the car to go home and just sat and cried. 'How can this be happening to me again?!' I try to do everything right...I take probiotics and an immune booster daily, am obsessive about hand washing and cleaning with bleach. I just can't believe I'm living this nightmare again.

To make matters worse, we're leaving for Las Vegas on Thursday to attend a dance convention for my daughter...and for my wedding! Every time I think about it my eyes well up with tears. I can't believe I will be going on holidays with cdiff. Not to mention how ill the flagyl will make me. No sipping piña coladas by the pool. I'll be curled up in bed.

I would give anything to be free of this illness forever. It has ruined my life enough.

[sevla]

Hi rbouska,
I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this again. I can only imagine how frustrated you feel - not oy because the nasty bug is back, but you have so many things going on! Vacation, birthday, daughter's dance convention, wedding! I am so sorry that this is happening and hope you feel better soon. I checked your previous post and it looks like Flagyl helped you back in 2013. Hopefully it will help you this time as well and you will start feeling better in the next 1-2 days.

However, I know that the week you had planned will not be the same, and I am sure the frustration is big. Try to stay calm and you will hopefully feel better and be able to enjoy it to some extent.

Just out of curiosity - did you take any antibiotics this time before the c diff came back? Or have you been to any hospitals or nursing facilities recently?

[rbouska]

Sevia, thank you for your kind words. I honestly believe that no one understands what we go through except the people on this forum. I know my family cares but they can't relate to how I'm feeling.

To answer your question, I haven't taken any antibiotics or visited a hospital or nursing home. The doctor said it must be community-based again and that I have really bad luck:(

[Lisa33]

I know that words cannot even help the frustration you must be feeling, but know that we are all here for you. C-diff is a nasty, relentless beast and needs to stop ruining everybody's lives. The timing is impeccable too. I am angry for you! You said that the flagyl made you ill last time. For me, the flagyl made me feel sicker than the c-diff. It was like poison going through my body. And, I relapsed on it. I had no side effects on vanco and felt pretty good. Can you get into a GI doctor right away and see if you can be switched to vanco? You don't need to deal with the side effects of flagyl on top of c-diff, and the vanco has a higher cure rate too. Even dificid would be a better option than that horror of a drug, Flagyl. I know I'm not a doctor and that is what was prescribed to you, but I could tell you that I will never take Flagyl ever again after how it made me feel. I know it sounds like c-diff again, but when will you get the results back? It is just mind boggling that after one and a half years c-diff free, without taking an antibiotic or being in a healthcare facility and taking probiotics, it can be c-diff again. This is what I don't understand, and it frustrates me. If the good bacteria is intact, why would the c-diff be active? Is there anything else that can go on in our bodies that can destroy good gut flora other than antibiotics? These are just rhetorical questions I guess because I don't know if anybody actually knows the answers.

You have to try and stay focused on the positive things going on this week. It's your daughter's dance convention, your birthday and your wedding! Congratulations on all three! If you can get the D under control, and you feel good on the flagyl, maybe the adrenaline of these happy occasions can get you through this and your mind off of being sick.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will pray that you feel better and can enjoy these happy occasions. I am frustrated for you.

Keep us posted and try to stay positive,
Lisa

[susant]

That is crazy. You would think there has to be something else going on for it to just come out of the blue. That doesn't make a lot of sense. I am so sorry! Thinking about you and hoping it goes away as quickly as it started!

[NikaNik]

Oh, I'm so sorry, rbouska. To go through c diff once is hell enough let alone twice. And at what is supposed to be one of the most exciting times in your life - congratulations on your upcoming marriage, by the way! But you beat it before and you will again. And we are here for support! Take one thing at a time. Can you ask for Vanco as it has less side effects than Flagyl which can be harsh for a lot of folks? Are you by chance on any acid reflux medications (PPIs?). There are studies that implicate them in c diff. I will pray you feel better very soon!

[rbouska]

I really appreciate all the support as I'm feeling pretty low. I am baffled about why this is happening now as well. I don't take any meds for acid reflux as I know this can sometimes contribute to cdiff. I won't be able to see a family doc until Monday (hopefully) and ask to change the prescription but I'm in such misery I will start the flagyl.

[beth22]

It is possible that you might have something other than c diff. Did they take a stool culture for other pathogens when you were in the ER? I had what I thought to be a c diff relapse a few years ago, and it was campylobacter, a bacteria usually gotten from undercooked poultry. If your test comes back negative, I would definitely test for other pathogens. There are also bad viruses going around and that is also possible. Whatever it is, I hope that you feel better soon and that the D subsides. Let us know how things go.

[notheidi]

rbouska,

Hang in there!!! You're not alone. I am SO SORRY you have c diff again, and I am sorry for this awful timing!!! That is absolutely infuriating!

My story is similar, but both times I caught from a healthcare facility. In 2011 and now in 2015. I had antibiotic exposure the first time, but not the second.

I really feel for you. Hopefully after a few days of meds you'll start feeling well enough to be able to enjoy the special events that are coming your way. Don't let the c diff rob you of that if you can help it!

[lillychamille]

You are living one of my nightmares so I can only imagine your frustration. The fear never leaves that this stuff will come back and NO ONE understands unless they have had it. I am on Flagyl right now too for a fistula and today is my birthday (yippee) but no celebrating here either. So, when you are stuck not sipping piña coladas please remember that I am thinking about you and hoping you are living in the moment as much as you can because that is the hardest thing to do.

Pro tip: I have taken Flagyl too many times for this crap (pun intended) and I find that I don't ever get that metallic taste of I wrap the pill in a coating of fruit roll up first lol!

[getwellsoon]

I'm also so sorry about all this. Definitely ask for Vanco or Dificid, you will feel so much better. If you have side effects they have to change your med so I would call now. The ER can order it for you or call your PCP's oncall line. Hope you can at least feel some better for all these happy occasions coming up for you. Community acquired CDiff is becoming much more common. I had a friends daughter get it. She only got it once though and has gone on and taken ATX and was fine. A cure can't come soon enough, we will all pray for you and the cure. Hope today is better for you.

[susant]

Did you get a positive test?

[rbouska]

The emergency doctor said they would be calling on Monday or Tuesday with the results because the sample wasn't sent until Saturday afternoon. I can't see how it wouldn't be positive though based on my symptoms, which haven't gotten any better.

[beth22]

It sounds like c diff, but it is also possible it can be another infection. Maybe you can call the ER first thing in the morning and see if it is ready. C diff tests don't take that long to do in hospitals.

[rbouska]

So the test actually came back negative for cdiff but I can't see how because my symptoms haven't improved and they are identical to when I had active cdiff. I gave a sample for a regular stool culture and an ova and parasite but the results won't be back until the end of the week. I will ask for another cdiff test when I get back. We leave tomorrow morning for Vegas and I can't believe have to travel in this condition. I'd give anything to just have a normal stomach and digestive system:(