Vent: fear of relapse

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notheidi
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Joined: Sun May 17, 2015 11:24 am

Vent: fear of relapse

Postby notheidi » Fri Jun 26, 2015 8:19 pm

OK, I'm starting to get drammatically better, for which I am so thankful! I've only had 2 D's today, whereas yesterday I had 3 times as much and the day before that probably 8 times as much.

And I have to say, I'm not even halfway done with the antibiotics and already the fear of relapse is hitting. Not even WELL yet and already the fear of relapse is hitting.

I think my fear was triggered due to PCP note saying I can return to work with no restrictions Monday. I still feel that I can barely get out of bed! I don't feel comfortable giving that note to work until I get a 2nd opinion from the gastro Monday morning. I may ask him to write a new note giving me light duty. I just don't have energy right now.

I am also feeling very, very gun shy of going back into the skilled nursing facilities where I work. I visit multiple ones. Like, if I have a relapse, how do I know if it's a new strain and I've been recontaminated, or if it's the same one?! And how do I tell my employer and will they lose hope in me. I know, one thing at a time.

I'm just scared. I seem to have scraped by this c diff with minimal issues. One week or slightly more off work, and my paid time off is going to almost cover the whole thing. I am grateful for that and scared at the same time because I know this illness is so unpredictable.

I think the exhaustion is affecting my mental state a lot today. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Morning was fine (well I was asleep most of the day lol), but now I am escalating a bit this afternoon. Thankful a friend is coming over with soup. I'm sure she won't want to come in, but I'm going to ask her to take a little stroll with me down the block so we can chat.
2010 mod/sev w/leukocytosis, cefdenir-sinus inf, metro rx'd wrong, resurged during tx. recovered w/dose change, lost 40 lbs. 2015 mod recur fr SNF, no abx, resolved w/vanco. 7/2022 mod recur, community acq, no abx, intermittent prodrome but didn't realize

Jackie25
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Re: Vent: fear of relapse

Postby Jackie25 » Fri Jun 26, 2015 10:20 pm

Hi :) I totally understand your worry and fear of relapsing 100%. We all do! It's such a normal and common comcern for all of us trust me.

On one hand, I'm happy to hear you are seeing some improvement lately, that's always a good thing. Some of us take a while to see positive results from the medication (I did)- and some of us take a longer time getting well and recovering (me again lol). But we do all eventually get better, keep that in mind when you feel low!

If you feel you are not well enough to return to a heavy work load- if it were me I would also be asking for another doctors note just in case. If anything it will give you peace of mind knowing if you have a bad/off day you have something to fall back on.

C diff-and more so the after effects it leaves behind- will drain you not only physically but mentally as well. It's a rough deal for some of us, but don't lose hope and keep faith that you will heal :) exercise and reading help to get my mind off of the merry go round of "what ifs" that c diff sometimes causes me. It can be the pits I know, but don't let this take over your thoughts and daily life. I did at first, and I lost a lot of days that could have been spent doing much more pleasant things lol

I know it's hard but try to stay as positive as you can, it really does help! I hope you continue to make progress and your fear and anxiety subsides some with each passing day!

getwellsoon
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Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:33 am

Re: Vent: fear of relapse

Postby getwellsoon » Sat Jun 27, 2015 8:29 am

I'm sorry you are feeling so anxious. Hopefully today will be better. Why wouldn't your friend come in? I had friends stop by with food, soup while I was in the throes of CDiff and no one caught it from me. If she is afraid, she can wash her hands before she leaves or just don't go into your bathroom etc. You aren't Typhoid Mary and if you are keeping friends away it isn't good for your mental health or to scare others so much. You didn't have D all over your house, on the couch, carpet etc did you? Then your friend is probably fine but if it is her choice not to come in that is another issue. Hope today you do feel better and the note from the GI is a good idea if you still feel too weak to work. I would think your Dr. could extend your note if you still feel so weak. I will hope you are stronger over the weekend and ready to go to work. Feel Better and God Bless.
CAROL

notheidi
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Posts: 266
Joined: Sun May 17, 2015 11:24 am

Re: Vent: fear of relapse

Postby notheidi » Sat Jun 27, 2015 11:43 am

Thank you so much for your support. This is the best community.

I know what you mean about c diff taking over your life. I have been steeped in it all week, though I have been distracting myself by watching some movies at home. Exercise is a great suggestion.

I was just concerned about my friend. As it turns out, she was even more concerned than I. Even with my reassurance that there was no way she could catch it, she said she didn't feel comfortable going on a walk with me--even if we didn't touch each other. That made me sad because I am lonely after a week of this. And it made me feel a bit freak-ish.

Yes, I'll ask the gastro Monday what he thinks about return time or light duty. I think light duty would be just fine for next week, and give me a chance to get stronger and ease back in.
2010 mod/sev w/leukocytosis, cefdenir-sinus inf, metro rx'd wrong, resurged during tx. recovered w/dose change, lost 40 lbs. 2015 mod recur fr SNF, no abx, resolved w/vanco. 7/2022 mod recur, community acq, no abx, intermittent prodrome but didn't realize

getwellsoon
Long Time Contributor
Posts: 3301
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:33 am

Re: Vent: fear of relapse

Postby getwellsoon » Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:05 am

YOur friend needs to read up on Cdiff. Sorry, but she must not be much of a friend. I have one whos daughter had CDiff and she was terrified but she still came over with soup for me when I was sick. Now that is a friend. Cdiff doesn't jump off your body to hers by walking with you. So sorry she is being this way and hope today you feel better. YOu have us, better than nothing. We are here for you.
CAROL

beth22
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Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2009 2:23 pm

Re: Vent: fear of relapse

Postby beth22 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 1:44 pm

Your friend is overreacting. My husband shared my bathroom and bed the whole time I had c diff and for all my relapses. He never got it and has been on antibiotics. My co-workers in our department share a small bathroom and no one ever got sick either. I could understand that she might not want to use your bathroom, but handwashing is the key here. Glad you are feeling better.


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