People Don't Understand

You can do it here... but no profanity, naming specific names, etc. Try to be constructive. Suggestions to improve the board or discussion forums are always appreciated.
GCTrailRunner
Contributor
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:34 am

People Don't Understand

Postby GCTrailRunner » Thu May 14, 2015 10:47 am

My husband for one get's on my darned nerves. For that matter anyone who is close to me who tries to down play my fears or make me feel like a moron for worrying. I had diarrhea for 5 days - today it was soft but not D so I did go to the doctor and they gave me the paperwork to get tested 'if' I have the big D again. They did say it might have been something I ate or just IBS issues..of course they don't know without testing and I do feel better today (still bloated and kind of nauseous but better). My husband said "you shouldn't get tested - you are fine - the doctors just want to make money off of the tests they run".....he went on to say "I get D at least once a week and I don't stress about it". Seriously?????? you are comparing YOUR D to mine? YOU didn't have CDIFF I DID..... he tells me that I need to mellow out and now worry about it. GRRRRRRRR.....so now there is a wedge that I have placed. I feel as if I can't tell him or talk to him about this because obviously he won't / doesn't understand. he is telling me to stop looking things up online because it is making me paranoid. Not true - you all are my CDIFF family - the one place where I can talk about my worries and you don't make me feel like I am a nut. I am thankful for the folks that do understand and can sympathize with the over analyzing of what lands in the toilet :) Thanks for letting me vent. Gloria

For now I am in a holding pattern. Hoping no more D but having the stool kit on hand makes me feel better that I can at least get a sample if I do have issues and hopefully get a big ole 'Negative' report.
Gloria

NikaNik
Long Time Contributor
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:52 am

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby NikaNik » Thu May 14, 2015 11:46 am

Aww, Gloria! You are so not alone. How long off the Dificid are you now? I'm betting it was an IBS flare since you are feeling better now.

My hubby has been incredible through this but also tells me to stop looking things up as it makes me make anxious - he's right, it does! So I'm working on that. And whenever I panic (I'm 32 days off a Dificid taper and had a little D yesterday and broke down crying) he tells me not to worry and it's part of the healing. Woke up this morning and did a happy dance to see a normal-looking stool. He said, "See? What did I tell you?" Sometimes he's pretty firm about it and I understand but no one except for those who have been through it can truly understand the fear. I think being our spouses who love us, they just don't want to see us worried or stressed, you know?

Anyway just wanted to let you know that I can totally relate to your frustrations. Hugs!
Last edited by NikaNik on Thu May 14, 2015 5:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bobbie
Administrator
Posts: 12688
Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:00 pm

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby Bobbie » Thu May 14, 2015 5:46 pm

Gloria,
My husband was not incredibly understanding when I had C diff although he did accompany me to Mayo and the U. of MI Med Center plus OKC for the FMT. AND his new car was totaled by hail in OKC. Now, he is the one with the most health problems. He does not want to talk about them.

I never described my bathroom visits to him because we are older and so less "tell it all." My personal feeling is "What happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom" but everyone has his/her right to do their own thing.

Think Njka is right. You are probably having IBS. See CDI - IBS and CDI - Three Day Rule.

GCTrailRunner
Contributor
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:34 am

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby GCTrailRunner » Fri May 15, 2015 5:24 am

NikaNik - I have been CDIFF free since November so that does make me feel more confident the more time that passes. Bobbie - I think you are right about not mentioning the bathroom thing - I will try to keep it to myself. Once I passed the 3 day mark was when I started getting nervous. I need to try to relax. I am hoping for the day where I can use the restroom and not analyze it :)
Gloria

Lisa33
Long Time Contributor
Posts: 2430
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2014 1:45 pm

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby Lisa33 » Fri May 15, 2015 10:17 pm

Hi Gloria,

We are all in the same boat. Once you have gone through this miserable illness, you can't help but analyze everything that lands in the bowl. It's so hard to not have anxiety every time you have D. It immediately reminds you of c-diff. I caught a stomach bug a few weeks back, and I was panicking because I had D and terrible nausea. I was also running a fever. My immediate reaction was "oh no, it's back!" I think it's a normal reaction for us all to think it could be c-diff again. As hard as it is, we have to also remind ourselves that D can mean a number of other things, including viruses, IBS, stress, something we ate, etc. I think as time goes on, the anxiety will subside some, but I am not sure if it will ever completely go away. And you are right, unless you've been through it, you can't truly understand the impact that this type of illness has on you. I know it is so frustrating when people downplay how you are feeling. I have family members as well that have done that to me. Just remind yourself, that they don't truly understand. That's why I love this forum. Everybody does truly understand what we are feeling.

-Lisa

NikaNik
Long Time Contributor
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:52 am

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby NikaNik » Fri May 15, 2015 10:39 pm

If you've been c diff free this long I would say you are good to go and it's that jerk IBS messin' with ya (who invited him anyway, ugh! Haha). I, too, long for the day when I can wake up and have coffee and a normal poop and be done for the day. I used to look forward to it! I'm so thankful to be almost five weeks off the Dificid but I haven't had coffee since January and I go to bed every night praying that the mornings will be good and analyze it all. Crazy what this does to us. I think in time the anxiety fades and we will think about it all less and less. :)

Dobies#1
Long Time Contributor
Posts: 457
Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2014 9:32 pm

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby Dobies#1 » Fri May 15, 2015 10:49 pm

Gloria, your hubby sounds exactly like mine! They don't understand the fear we have. I'm about 21 months post treatment and I still get petrified when I have diarrhea. I still do and probably always will have IBS so I get diarrhea frequently some weeks. My Psychiatrist told my husband I have PTSD from C Diff and he STILL doesn't get it. That's why I come here to vent. You'll be okay! Just hang in there! XOXO!!

august14
Regular User
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed May 06, 2015 8:13 pm

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby august14 » Sun May 17, 2015 5:04 pm

I'm sorry.

This is one of those things where if you haven't had it, you probably don't get it. Luckily my husband is good about it, but he does tell me to stop googling too. But google has helped me figure out quite a lot about how to control the IBS like stuff after c diff...which is important having had it 4 times. It's tough. Hope he comes around!

daisy
Regular User
Posts: 42
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:24 pm

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby daisy » Sun May 17, 2015 6:18 pm

Gloria, I understand you completely. It happens here too. I think they just try to say anything they can, just to try make you not to worry. Only people that went through this can understand. Everything is going to be alright, hang in there!

Bobbie
Administrator
Posts: 12688
Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:00 pm

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby Bobbie » Mon May 18, 2015 12:01 am

You have to have cdiff to understand it. How to explain to someone that although you felt fine earlier, you are sick and have to cancel plans with them? I don't bother to explain anymore.

Someday I am going to wrote a book titled "You Can't Be Sick. You Look OK."

kwiatek7
Regular User
Posts: 55
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2014 7:15 pm

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby kwiatek7 » Mon May 18, 2015 12:19 pm

Gloria,

I am sorry that your husband is causing you grief. He only means well and wants you to worry less. The reality is that C DIFF really messes with our minds and unless you battled with it, you will not understand. At times I had to stop complaining about it to my close ones as they stop believing me and said things like your husband said. I was tired of being so judged. Now they ask me at times how I feel. When I am really not feeling well, I write away in my journal. This forum really helps me as well and I am so grateful for it. Knowing others are out there like us experiencing the same issues makes it lighter on us. I been struggling with post C DIFF for a year now and feel like life will never be the same but we have to push ourselves through it!

Hope things are getting better for you!

Agnes

Bobbie
Administrator
Posts: 12688
Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:00 pm

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby Bobbie » Mon May 18, 2015 12:45 pm

Weiting in a journal is a great idea. You can use the Chat Forum to commiserate with others as much as you want.

mandy
New User
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:43 pm

Re: People Don't Understand

Postby mandy » Wed May 20, 2015 6:47 pm

I have thanked God many times for this forum, it's the only place where others understand the fear and anxiety a C Diff diagnosis gives a person. I'll be a year post-treatment in August, and while my anxiety is way decreased, it's still lurking. My daughter has a toe infection and I'm so afraid she'll need antibiotics. All of those feelings have come rushing back now that I'm worried for her.


Return to “Got a suggestion or complaint? Want to vent?”



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 18 guests