Sick of this

[beth22]

Things were better since the last FE about 10 days ago. Maybe I waited too long and should have done another, but with working, it is hard. Today I had M for the first time in a long time and some other signs of c diff. I can't take in a specimen until tomorrow, as lab will only do it every 7 days, so we'll see what tomorrow brings. Will try to do another FE asap. I'm so tired of all of this. I try to stay positive, but I really wonder if I will ever get well.

[AllisS]

Your discouragement is very understandable. I, for one, believe you will get better. This may sound heretical, but I also think it's OK to allow yourself to have feelings that are less than positive during a difficult time such as this. Positivity, unfortunately, does not ensure health. It places added stress on oneself to always have to strive for an optimistic outlook. Which isn't the same as saying not to have hope. Hope and discouragement can coexist.

Allison

[Bobbie]

I agree with Allis. A woman with C. diff. told me years ago, "Positive thinking is highly over rated." I agree. Look for the best, expect the worse, and have Plans A, B, and C in place in case the latter happens. If you have another plan in place in case you reoccur, it isn't as devastating. Learn as much about the infection as you can so you can work with your doctor and make suggestions. Trust your "gut" feelings. Try to laugh whenever possible.

C. diff. is not a good infection to have under any circumstances. It is a lonely, embarrassing infection that isolates people and causes depression and insomnia.

If you want to scream and cry, do so if it makes you feel better. I ran out of tears years ago so I exercise, drink wine, see movies, read books, write articles, and try not to think about C. diff. - unless I hear the word "antibiotic" which still makes me shudder.

[beth22]

Allis is right. Hopeful is a better word. Positive is probably not accurate. Will see what tomorrow brings. I did anoter FE very late this evening. Got to my donor's house at 11:00 pm to pick it up and did not get home until midnight. It is now 2 a.m. and I am going to try and sleep. I hope things are better tomorrow, although I did not have a repeat of the early afternoon experience, so I'm hoping it was some type of IBS and not c diff. This is just around the time I used to relapse, so I am especially nervous. It was usually 3 - 4 weeks post vanco. I still think I would have been better off never having taken it in the first place!

[code3rn]

Hoping the test is negative for you, and that this round of FE will help you keep cdiff away. Although you are suffering, remember you are not alone. I think anyone in your shoes would also feel defeated after having gone through all that you have gone through! Sending thoughts of healing your way

[getwellsoon]

As always you are in my prayers. Don't let a little m throw you. I know it seems this is a precursor to CDiff for you but it might just mean some inflammation. I had it for months and months, I know how scary it is. Hang in there and it is alright to have a good cry, you will feel better afterward. Carol

[beth22]

I wish I could have a good cry. It would make me feel better emotionally, but will wreak havoc on my sinuses and stuff me up completely again. With spring, my allergies are really bad too. That's the other thing - I guess at my age it is common to have multiple health issues, but it is also very discouraging. In order to fix one thing, it makes other things worse. One day at a time. My sample this morning so far was not worth taking in for testing. I don't want to use up my "every 7 days only" on something that does not look questionable. Good that it did not get worse and hoping I won't even need to bring in anything to test. The FEs do give a lot of gas though. I have noticed I have it for a few days after doing one.

[beth22]

Saw a new GI today for a second opinion. He recommended hypnotherapy for IBS. He says he has had a lot of success for his patients with it. Gave me the name and info for a doctor who does this. I think I will give it a try. He also gave me a card for a chinese herbalist and acupuncturist. I have thought about the acupuncture before, but I don't do so well with herbs. I know of one poster who did hypnotherapy for PI-IBS a few years ago and it helped. At this point, I will try anything. He also said the stool enemas are a great idea. He recommends them to his patients as well and I should continue. He said he prefers donors who do not live in the same house, so that is my case, but I have heard varied opinions on that one. He also said I should not have taken the vanco along with the Levaquin last month as a preventive measure. Told me I could have done the FEs instead. I wish I had! Vanco has never had a good effect on me!

[AllisS]

I had some acupuncture about 12 years ago for GI issues and found it very relaxing. Not sure if it helped w/the issues or not. The practitioner offered herbs, but I do not recall taking them. You should be able to try the acupuncture while foregoing the herbs.

[seekingcure]

I had actually considered the acupuncture for IBS myself. I hope it helps you.

[beth22]

http://www.mhs.manchester.ac.uk/about-u ... icine/ibs/

I spoke to the MD who does the hypnotherapy and she sent me this link. She treats all kinds of conditions, but the GI I saw recommended her for IBS. I'm not sure if what I have is IBS, but I think I am going to try it and see if it helps. I know my mind can use some calm and I don't do well with anti-anxiety meds. I will post and tell you if it works or not after I try it out.

[getwellsoon]

Good luck Beth, hope it helps you. I tried acupuncture for my knees and unfortunately didn't see any improvement. He did tell me from the onset that the only thing it might do is relieve some of the pain and inflammation that it wouldn't grow my cartilege back. Carol