Needing to vent to ppl that understand.

[saraht]

I hope making a new post here is ok, even though I have another post going on. I don't want to crowd.

Yesterday I felt terrible. Not knowing if I am getting this beast again, and not knowing if I gave it to my 1 yr old daughter. If you have read my other post, you understand how down I am from this. The fact I might be a carrier, and some how gave it to my baby girl, who gave it back to me. That's IF the tests come back positive tomorrow.

So.. I have been feeling like crap since I started getting symptoms again on Saturday, I thought maybe the flu? Then oh maybe it's back! Well we currently have our house on the market for sale, and I haven't cleaned since I can hardly stay away from the toilet. My husband comes home from work and says, "we have a showing today" GREAT! Just want I wanted to hear. So I had to get myself up and clean.. My daughter has been more needy than usual because of her feeling yucky too. So this was a challenge.

Well... Into my frenzy of cleaning, and bleaching (because I didn't want anyone getting whatever we had) my husband decided to start blaming me for us probably not going on vacation this year. Like I am making this whole sickness up, or like I got my daughter, and myself sick on purpose.
He says to me "I don't understand why you can't suck it up"....
I was speechless... He doesn't understand how this feels. Running to the bathroom sometimes more than 20 times a day, waking up to go, not sleeping, not eating, terrible anxiety, and depression, feeling terrible about possibly giving this to my baby.
I had never been so hurt. I already feel terrible that I ruined our vacation, without him mentioning anything to me!
Like I need this too. I'm so tempted to call my dr and ask for Ativan or Xanax, because I just don't know how much more I can take. Now my poor dog is having D, and my expensive tv blew up.
When it rains it pours.

[seekingcure]

I totally understand the nonsupportive husband. Unfortunately, I have one of those too. He complains because I'm sick all the time and "never want to do anything." Well, honey, it's difficult to go out and do anything when you can't stay out of the bathroom for more than an hour at a time. Meanwhile, even though he's retired and healthy, I'm still doing pretty much everything that gets done in the house, which, at this point, is not much other than bleaching the bathroom and kitchen, washing clothes and dishes. Someone on here said that all these husbands should have c-diff for just ONE day so they could see what we are going through---the pain, the fatigue and the overwhelming anxiety. Then maybe they would be more supportive. However, I'm truly thankful that mine does not have it, because if he did, no matter how sick I might be myself, I would still have to take care of him, clean up after him, etc. Frankly most men are just helpless. I guess there's a reason God leaves the childbearing to women. The human race would die out if men had to go through pregnancy, labor and delivery. My husband commented that I talked about c-diff until I ended up with it. Well, I sure don't know how I "talked myself into it." If it were that simple, I would "talk myself out of it!"

[saraht]

You're right, I would not want my husband to get this and pray he doesn't! I have to constantly yell at him to wash his hands after he changes our daughter. I pray he stays healthy. I wouldn't even want him to feel it for a day. He said to me "I know I'm seeming insensitive because I don't know how you feel" well here's an idea. Insert your foot in your mouth before you say anything you might regret.

The lady we seen at the pediatrician's office said to give my daughter Benadryl to slow down her GI tract,which obviously I didn't, and he says to me "you never listen to what those drs say" I said well
maybe if they knew more about it, then I would. Being a dr, and suspecting someone having a infection, why would you think to slow it down? so the infection can multiply? It's common sense.
I take bits and pieces of what every dr has told me, because most of which never have the same answer and can't believe another dr would suggest such a thing. I understand how ridiculous they work, but there are so many articles written by other Drs that explain so many things. Like example me having Crohn's disease. I have no family history, and it started after my last run in with c.diff. Every dr I seen said it was not possible for these two to be in common.... I did a little research and read an article about IBD and causes. And what was one of the causes? Lack of good gut flora, by medication.

Every Dr I meet I tell them what I know, so hopefully they can use it. My ID Dr, who in which is the only one in my town said he had never seen someone have c.diff like me. Isn't that great? And sadly that is only one of several drs who have said that to me. It's just amazing. Makes me wish I could have went to med school like I dreamed of doing.

Maybe I can teach my daughter, and she will want to be a dr, and one day find a true cure. One can hope right?

[Bobbie]

Carol,

Agree. If it was "them" who had C. diff., it would be different- far more important.

[AThurston]

I'm so sorry you both continue to feel so sick, very little or no support can be sooo depressing. Try to remember a lot of people and a lot of medical professions are not educated and/or well informed on c diff. Hopefully with the increase in c diff cases and the FDA doing all this red tape on FT's, education will improve with research. Loved ones can be the least sympathetic when it comes to illness of the other spouse. Try educating them when they are listening, lay out informative simple articles where they can see it and pray that they will see it and read it or just hand it to them and ask them to read it and tell them, this is why I feel like I do and why I ask you to wash your hands. tell him it is for his protection, as well as the other family members. I pray the tests are negative for the both of you and that all is well soon. We are here for you and know exactly how you feel, keep us updated.