Women and the men in their lives

[Bobbie]

Sorry, guys. You do have your pluses.
This site could use some humor, and this is the only "forward" I kept -- ususally "dump" them. Your wives might find these funny.

> WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
> She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
> Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
> Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
> Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
> And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
>
> Keep reading--they get better!!!
>
> WOMEN'S REVENGE
> 'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman
> wished to purchase.
> As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a
> television set in her purse.
> 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
> 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with
> me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
> legally.'
>
> UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
> I know I'm not going to understand women.
> I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it
> onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid
> of a spider.
>
>
> WIFE VS. HUSBAND
> A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying
> a word.
> An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
> wanted to concede their position.
> As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband
> asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
> 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
>
> WORDS
> A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women
> use a day; 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
> The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to
> repeat everything to men.'
> The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
>
> CREATION
> A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so
> stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.'
> The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful
> so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be
> attracted to you!
>
> WHO DOES WHAT
> A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew
> the coffee each morning.
> The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and
> then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'
> The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
> you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
> coffee.'
> Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the
> Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
> Husband replies, 'I can't believe that; show me.'
> So she fetched the Bible, opened the New Testament and showed
> him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS.'
>
> The Silent Treatment
> A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
> giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that
> the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
> morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the
> silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at
> 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
> The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00
> AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see
> why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the
> bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
>
> God may have created man before woman, but there is always a
> rough draft before the masterpiece.
>