Divorce vs. Murder
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would
like to buy some cyanide.'
The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'
The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband..'
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll
lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'
Divorce vs. Murder
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sks001
- Regular Contributor
- Posts: 310
- Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:00 pm
Divorce vs. Murder
Sandy
Southeast Michigan
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away".
Southeast Michigan
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away".
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sks001
- Regular Contributor
- Posts: 310
- Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:00 pm
lol Roy.
Back in June 1976 at my parent's big, fancy 50th Aniversary party, someone handed a microphone to my dad and he jokingly said "If I killed her 25 years ago, I'd be walking out of jail today a free man!" Everyone cracked up. My mom took the microphone and came back quickly with "and I would have had 25 years of Heaven!" Have told this story soooo many times over the years.
Back in June 1976 at my parent's big, fancy 50th Aniversary party, someone handed a microphone to my dad and he jokingly said "If I killed her 25 years ago, I'd be walking out of jail today a free man!" Everyone cracked up. My mom took the microphone and came back quickly with "and I would have had 25 years of Heaven!" Have told this story soooo many times over the years.
Sandy
Southeast Michigan
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away".
Southeast Michigan
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away".
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sks001
- Regular Contributor
- Posts: 310
- Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:00 pm
Another joke along this same theme:
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating, and you were barely 16 years old?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'"
"I remember that, too," she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said ...
"I would have gotten out today."
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating, and you were barely 16 years old?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'"
"I remember that, too," she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said ...
"I would have gotten out today."
Sandy
Southeast Michigan
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away".
Southeast Michigan
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away".
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