More Doctor Jokes -- From the Doctor's Perspective

[administrator]

Robin <BR>User ID: 0456964 Aug 13th 12:16 PM <BR>Anyone know where I can get information on Chinese herbs or Chinese herbalist? Thanks <BR>Cdiffhelp <BR>User ID: 2881154 Aug 13th 2:30 PM <BR>Robin, <BR> <BR>Funny you should ask! <BR> <BR>We recently had an affiliate sign-up - the Herbal Shoppe. They have a really good article on their site about gastrointestinal problems and then have some suggestions on Chinese herbal supplements. <BR> <BR>Go to: <!-- BBCode auto-link start --><a href="http://www.cdiffsupport.com/affiliates.html" target="_blank">www.cdiffsupport.com/affiliates.html</a><!-- BBCode auto-link end --> <BR> <BR>Click on: the link/banner for The Herbal Shoppe/Solutions from Oriental Medicine (it's a green banner on the left side). <BR> <BR>There are also other links to health sites there where you could get other products or medical info.... <BR> <BR>Good luck, <BR>Sam

[Guest]

A friend recently sent me these jokes. Although C. diff. is far from a funny disease, and the world itself seems like a mess right now, we can all use some laughter. <BR> <BR>Humor in the Lives of Doctors: <BR> <BR>A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to remove her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. <BR>Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX <BR>* * * * * * * * * * * * * <BR>At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. <BR>"Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," sadly replied the patient. <BR>Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA <BR>* * * * * * * * * * * * <BR>One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarction. Not more than <BR>five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." <BR>Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada <BR>* * * * * * * * * * * <BR>I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover <BR>your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. <BR>Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA <BR>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * <BR>During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of <BR>his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I h ad him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. <BR>Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA <BR>* * * * * * * * * * * * * <BR>While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered... "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive." <BR>Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis <BR>* * * * * * * * * * * <BR>I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get <BR>used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." <BR>Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI <BR>* * * * * * * * * * * * * <BR>And finally . . . . . A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite uncomfortable performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you're whistling is "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."