A Letter to the Makers of "Always Maxi Pads"

[HEATHER28]

I'm sure you can relate to this? Even if not true it sure hits the spot.
I got this in my e-mail today and just had to post it. I am sure that every women here can relate to this...I know I can! LMAO!!




This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company

Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets

rolling after the first paragraph... PC Magazine's 2007 editor's choice
for best web mail-award-winning letter.


Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or
Dry-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach
in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how
crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe
and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently
surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and
I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly
with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings,
crying jags, and out-of-control behavior.

You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last
week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her
boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he
thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir,
you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal
maniacs in Capri pants...

Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the
throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my
uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive
backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless
you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything
'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and
Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to
the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end
your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man!

If you just have to Slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make
more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the
Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately,there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take
my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.


Best, Wendi Aarons

Austin , TX

[marscan]

LMAO!!! That was too funny. I still remember the old "belted" apparatus. Remember the "warning: wear blue line away from body" on those? As a kid I often worried about those poor women that may not have heeded that warning, it scared me to death...lolol..!!