Jokes for the Ladies

[Bobbie]

Jokes For the Ladies (Apologies, gentlemen, but you have ones about"us."

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to
wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the
laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use
on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied.
"What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back,
"Oklahoma State University."

And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to
make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman
replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says
as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you
think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?" "Probably that I married you for your
money," she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
sensitive man? A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their
special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good that each one of them
could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around
the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she
had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man
wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love
that fairy!
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Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him
to death. AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to
be men.
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold
the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the
toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need
to wipe.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your
e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction
Manuals"