Fun Lexiphiles

[Bobbie]

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish .... or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger ...then it hit me.
To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes
...
take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles . . . U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . .
They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name ... and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you
. . . A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center ... you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . .. resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? .
..
He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . .
jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone; . . .. it is two tired.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism . . . it's your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair . . . she thought she'd dye.